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  • Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

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    Old 03-12-2013, 12:49 PM   #1
    LostnDown
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    Unhappy Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    Hello!

    First, I'm new to these boards, but I've read so many threads, I feel this is a good place to be for advise or to feel unalone. Thank you for anyone whom reads this and responds!

    I have been with my boy friend for only 4 months, but I'm already doubting being with him. I'm known to sabotage my relationships and find flaws in men just so I don't have to commit...maybe this is the case? I don't know...I'm really trying to not be THAT girl, so I doubt I am.

    My boy friend is really sweet, but a little naive to relationships...He's only been in one serious one, which didn't last long, and was 5 years ago. He's also very shy.

    Anyway, when we started dating, he had mentioned something along the lines of "I use to be really picky about looks, but now I'm not so picky" so I kinda just smiled and nodded, and asked "So, what were you picky about?" and he wouldn't answer...which I put in my mind "Ok...Girls like me obviously". So time went by, and I kinda just left it alone, but things were bugging me, like he never compliments me...EVER...and I try really hard to look pretty for him...but nothing. He makes little comments like "I've never dated a white girl", or when I ask him his "type" he says stuff like "Oh I have a lot of types."...these things just attribute to the package. I mentioned to him that I don't feel like he finds me attractive at all, and he just tells me I'm taking what he says and blowing it out of proportion and that he thinks Iím pretty, he's just shy and doesn't say it. .... .... ....I feel like if you like someone, you shouldn't be told to tell them they're beautiful, and most people shout it out often....
    He's made other little remarks here n' there like when I say I wish I had more time to work out, he says things like "Well, just stop being so lazy and do it." .... Doesn't make me feel great.
    The thing that bothers me the most is that when my friends see him, they always say things like "Oh! He's definitely your type." and I guess I'm sensitive thinking that I'm not his...
    Am I just making myself feel bad for no reason? I don't know...Advise would be nice to help make my decision to keep him or just walk away...These feelings aren't ones I'd like to have our whole relationship...4 months with it already is draining my self esteem...
    Thank you again for reading! I know that was a "schpiel" Any advise would be AMAZING!!

     
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    Old 03-13-2013, 08:41 AM   #2
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    actually I'm not impressed with your boyfriend.....maybe he is severly lacking in social skills and just inexperienced in relationships.....lets hope that's the case.....
    either way, it's not healthy to stay with someone who knocks your self-esteem down. our partners are suppossed to lift us up, not bring us down. I think you'd be better off without him, what do you think?

     
    Old 03-13-2013, 08:48 AM   #3
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    Hi. it seems as though you are making excuses for him by saying he is too shy to give you compliments but then again he is not too shy to make mean comments to you that drain your self esteem. It also appears that you have little romance in your relationship.Don't be one of those people with low self esteem that holds on while things get worse. I believe it is not that you are too critical of men, it's just that you keep meeting the wrong ones. When someone is in a relationship and in love they should feel so good they are walking on clouds. You should break up with this man and find someone that will romance you, be supportive and say nice things to you.

     
    Old 03-13-2013, 10:08 AM   #4
    JohnR41
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    I agree with the two previous posts. This guy should be written off as an unfortunate experience. I don't hear anything to make staying with him worth it. Sometimes it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.

     
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    Old 03-13-2013, 01:58 PM   #5
    growagourd
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    I must agree with the previous posters...The first four months of a relationship are typically the very best, all full of excitement and romance. If you have such doubts about him at this point, I wonder what the next 4 months might bring.

    Whether you are being too picky or overly sensitive, I do not know. Whether he is inexperienced or shy, again..I don't know.

    The fact that you do not feel appreciated or acknowledged for just being you, is that part I would take into account. Take away all the words, and focus on the actions. Considering your feelings of being unattractive, and not fulfilled would be the signs that I would count.

    The early months of a relationship is the time you get to choose whether this man is for you or not. I would have to agree with the others, and say he is not. Life is too short to spend a minute with those who bring you down, hurt your feelings or leave you with the questions you have brought here.

    Never jump on to a sinking boat!

     
    Old 03-13-2013, 06:49 PM   #6
    LostnDown
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    Thank you for all your wise thoughts!
    I completely agree, and it's unfortunate to say, he just isn't the one.
    I feel so much better hearing that all my opinions on the matter aren't just me.
    I date a lot, but I don't know if I'll ever find a guy that's good enough for me and my son. Sigh.
    Thank you all again!!! <3

     
    Old 03-13-2013, 11:28 PM   #7
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    Re: Boy friend finding me unattractive or am I over exaggerating

    You're already ahead of the game by recognizing the problems, and aren't going to stick with a bad relationship.

     
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