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  • 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

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    Old 05-01-2014, 11:40 AM   #46
    Megsmom2014
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    That should be easy for you to do. It does not taste bad at all to me. Make sure you get some moist wipes to help keep from getting irritated.

     
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    Old 05-01-2014, 11:46 AM   #47
    Jas
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    lol they sent me some of those too! They are called "Tush Wipes"...cute!

     
    Old 05-01-2014, 02:08 PM   #48
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Too funny!

     
    Old 05-05-2014, 07:25 PM   #49
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Your prep sounds so much better than mine. I could barely get it all down and it was definitely not Gatorade!! I had to get up at 2am too to drink the rest of mine the day of procedure. It was a pain but also nice to get it over with early rather than have to wait until later in the day. Glad to see you have some more support on here Jas. I hope you are doing ok and are not too anxious. If they use good drugs, you will be in a light sleep or very very relaxed and will not be worrying about a thing. Then you will have some answers and you can move on from this. Hang in there and be strong. Hugs to you!

     
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    Old 05-06-2014, 06:56 AM   #50
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Thank you so much Suzq, it means a lot to me that you came back just to give me some words of encouragement. As far as my anxiety - yes, it's at an all-time high lol...I'm tired, very tired...and I just keep hoping that everything comes back normal...I'll probably sleep better that night, than I have in the last 3 months!!! They are giving me Twilight, so whatever that is? They called it medium sedation. I really don't want to be aware at all...I'm going to express to them my level of anxiety, and kindly ask if they will assure that I am totally out of it lol...Anyways, please let me know how you're coming along? I have been thinking about you daily, because it's been a while since I last heard from you. hugs

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 12:30 PM   #51
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    I would insist on a colonoscopy if I were you. It is not painful, it doesn't take very long. Most insurance companies will approve it for you even if you aren't old enough for routine check... when you have high risk factors in your family. My brother was diagnosed at 43. No real symptoms that would have made him think cancer, just similar to what you said sort of.... when the pain got really bad, he went to the ER, they called in the family and said it was already Stage 4, spread to his liver. Please go get any tests they recommend! So worth it!

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 12:39 PM   #52
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    I'm having a colonoscopy this Friday morning, and I'm terrified of the results. I can barely stand it. I'm not worried about the prep or procedure itself. I cry constantly from fear of hearing something bad!! My GI doesn't really consider me high risk even with a Grandfather who was diagnosed nearer to age 60. He is the ONLY relative that I know of who had Colon Cancer. And genetic cancer is also usually related to a polyp disease that runs in families. My grandfather isn't even considered a first degree relative. My father had his done at age 50 and didn't have even one polyp. I've had a CT scan very recently which would have shown any cancer that had spread to the liver or other surrounding organs, it didn't even show any inflammation of the bowel...whatever that means, if anything. so I'm at least OK there. Thanks for your thoughts.

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 12:49 PM   #53
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Still, it will always give you peace of mind to get the tests and find that you are OK! Takes a lot of the worry away. Always better for them to find nothing wrong than to not go for tests and wish you had later. We have no history of colon cancer in our family either. This was a freak thing with my brother. They still recommended that I get checked anyway... being a sibling. His is not the genetic type either. I felt a million times better after the test. The prep is really awful though.... no getting around that. Prayers and hugs and hope you will be fine!

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 12:55 PM   #54
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Thank you very much for your support and kind words. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. We never can know what to expect in life. This seems to be part of the problem with my anxiety. The fear of the unknown, and also the known, if that makes sense. I'm glad you had the procedure done, and everything came out fine. What a blessing! Take care.

     
    Old 05-07-2014, 12:58 PM   #55
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Hey Jas...Your test is Friday, right? Of course we should all be pro-active in our healthcare. You are doing the right thing to rule out cancer and ease your mind. Yes, unfortunately, we fear the BEAST of cancer. That's human emotion and quite normal. I don't think yours is malignancy. IMO and only my opinion...It's more likely benign issues whether GYNO or GASTRO, perhaps even internal hemorrhoids or benign polyps affecting the appearance of your BM. You will know for sure immediately following your test on Friday. Your path report will take a couple of days, but the doctor who performs the test is experienced to visually "predict" the outcome of the path report.

    I must express my heartfelt sadness for her brother. I cannot fathom the shock and grief of such a prognosis. I suffered liver failure in 1994 and was sent to renowned research hospital in New Orleans, following elevated enzymes. They were CERTAIN to confirm cancer. Thankfully, it was NOT. It was stage 4 endometriosis, which had formed a lesion blocking the common bile duct. Granted, it shut down my liver and nearly caused my death. I was too weak to survive surgery, so was hospitalized for IV push to strengthen my body. This disease ravages the body like a cancer. It goes undetected because there are no "exterior" symptoms or signs. It is often "written off" as difficult menstrual periods, and not researched thoroughly until it shuts down your bowel, or kidneys, bladder or God forbid, your liver. Once diagnosed, it took 2 partial surgeries followed by open abdomen stem to stern to basically "gut" me like a deer and dissect the disease from my organs. That surgery was followed with chemotherapies that have ravaged my bone structure and with tumor-suppressing drugs to prevent recurrence. Once marked with the scarlet "E" in the medical community...you are DEAD to doctors. I believe my kidneys and colon are being choked right now, but no one will listen.

    So, YES...Please keep your appointment for your colonoscopy. IF it is endometriosis, and diagnosed early, your treatment and prognosis is so much brighter than mine. HUGS of support to you, Jas and to grieving family members=)

     
    Old 05-07-2014, 01:10 PM   #56
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    I really wish I had this kind of support at home. Unfortunately, as supportive as my husband tries to be, I'm afraid he's becoming quite frustrated with my obsessive nature over this whole ordeal, that he refuses to enable my self diagnosing behaviors, i.e. Google. I get upset with him because he just keeps telling me that he thinks there's nothing wrong with me, and I just wish he wouldn't say things like that, because he just doesn't know. But on the other side, I don't know that there IS something wrong. It's so hard for him to understand how consumed I've become by this, because he has never had any type of a health scare, and I pray he never does. This is agony. It's pure horror when you live within this fear for months...quite crippling, actually. At this point it is causing damage to my relationship, because my mind is always somewhere else, going over each possible scenario of results on Friday. I don't want to talk, or be touched. Yesterday was my birthday and I felt myself being more annoyed than anything with all the Happy Birthday's and good moods that surrounded me. I wanted nothing to do with it...I grow increasingly withdrawn...and I hate how I have become. Just so you know, I've set up an appointment for May 13th with a Therapist, and will work with my GP for anxiety and depression meds, as there is a very big shortage of psychiatrists in my area. I am just hoping and praying that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm so scared if I do have something bad, that I won't have the strength to fight it...I keep thinking of my little children being without me...so, so, scared...especially the closer it gets to Friday. I am so pathetic...already falling apart before I've heard anything...can't imagine what I'll do if it is Cancer...don't know if I can make it.

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 01:35 PM   #57
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Oh, Jas...YOU ARE A MOM...You are a Super Hero, so don that red cape and soar through the next 2 days. I was about to suggest a therapist, regardless of the test results. NO...not because I think you're "crazy" (I despise that word) You obviously have emotional issues far beyond these health anxieties. I understand your husband's frustration as you ARE a hard case, sweetie=) So...my best suggestion is to rule out physical issues and strengthen yourself emotionally. Your fears are irrational and will eventually cause not only a breakdown of your marriage, but also a complete disconnect with reality. Please don't misunderstand me. Your pain is REAL, but your response is out of control, affecting your family. You've got to pull yourself together. Can you call this therapist for an emergency "work-in" appointment? If not, do you have a pastor? You need face to face counseling, which is not possible in this forum. Please immerse yourself in the needs of your children and take the focus off "self". HAPPY is more often than not, an elusive emotion. You owe it to your children to "fake it until you feel it". You are the grown up...They need their mother to be strong for them, no matter what you're feeling. Make tonight about them because your prep will start tomorrow. You need to eat lightly, but let the kids pick what/where they want for dinner. Let them have a fun and care free night...no talk of sickness and death allowed. Promise?

    Last edited by WhistleDixie; 05-07-2014 at 04:47 PM.

     
    Old 05-07-2014, 01:48 PM   #58
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    I don't mean to act selfish, in fact I hadn't realized I was, until you told me to get away from "self". Then it hit me...In all of this madness thinking about my children, I have really only thought about myself. Forgetting to focus on right now, and the love I can share with them today. Perhaps that's why I couldn't see just how selfish I'm acting. I am very grateful for your honesty, even if it is brutal. I have the upmost respect for it. I do feel like I am slowly losing touch with reality, but I am gripped so tightly by this, and no distraction seems to let me break free. Hopefully, on Friday, I can just breathe again. Truly satisfy my duties as a mother and wife, happily, and confidently. As far as Therapy is concerned, I'm really seeking it for grief and loss treatment, for I feel those components play a very large roll in who I have become today. Thank you a million times for your support.

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 02:18 PM   #59
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Exactly, sweetie...I'm no expert, nor do I pretend to be. I can only speak to the lessons I've learned through my own personal suffering. I have experienced mental breakdowns requiring hospitalization (twice) Trust me, I do understand your grief and your loss...more than you know. I, too, am a product of my past and my harsh upbringing, to put it gently. The only way I've been able to survive the trials and the tribulations is to focus on others. I did not inherently possess these coping skills, nor do they always prevail. When I'm feeling sorry for myself, I look around me and see WHERE I am BLESSED. I just want you to do the same because you won't ever get back these weeks and months you've lost with your husband and children. LIFE IS HARD...We all need support to get through it. HUGS=)

     
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    Old 05-07-2014, 06:56 PM   #60
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    Re: 35 y/o scared to death I have colon cancer

    Hi Jas,

    I am doing ok, thanks for asking about me! Still don't know what is wrong with me though. Some days are better, some not. Still searching for answers. Sometimes think it is mostly anxiety, other times am convinced I have some kind of rare cancer or life threatening illness. Concerned for you though just because you are so anxious. Believe me I have been there and know how tough it is. Just a few short days and it will be over and you will know. I know you will be ok. I am proud of you for going through with this. I hope the prep is not too bad on you and look forward to hearing how things went. I love what W Dixie said, you can't get back this time, so enjoy each moment no matter what, with your family and for yourself. I keep trying to tell myself, "I may feel sick/not well right now, but I am still here!" Take care and stay strong, you are doing the right thing!! Hugs!!!!!!

     
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