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  • Teen Anger issues

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    Old 06-07-2015, 06:48 PM   #1
    SooExhausted
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    Teen Anger issues

    My thread touches on many mental health issues and im at my end. I have a 15 year old daughter who is unbearable. To give you background, i have noticed her have issues since kindergarten. She never really interacted with children very well. For most of her elementary years, she was bullied. Also, she seems to misinterpret social situations to a point where she thinks people are attacking her when that is most certainly not the case. There have been countless times where i will say something nice to her, and she completely turns it into a negative. Example, daughter you are starting to look alot like your dad. She says, yelling at me, that im telling her she looks like a man. Thats the most recent event i can think about, but it makes me feel like ive dealt with those types of comments thousands of times.

    Alot of her behavior seems to fit exactly with ODD, angry, touchy, loses temper for no reason. Shes been like that for awhile. I seem to be the target for her anger. she yells at me all the time and tells me, "Dont look at me", and turns her whole body so i cant see her. She has said that for years, so much that my other child is starting to say that (1 yr old and 4 yr old). Anytime i look in my daughters direction, she says the same thing. Also, insults are usually followed with her screaming, actually raging.

    She also screams bloody murder when i may brush next to her on accident. Its happened in the grocery store or in the car. Its like im poison. She jumps up and screams saying dont touch me. Like im hitting her.

    When she was 10, i took her to a therapist who thought she may have asbergers, because she has very little social skills and she appears to get good grades in school. I was never able to follow up with formal testing as the cost was over $2000. So , i continued to deal with it.

    When she between 7-10 years old, whenever we would walk to the store, my daugher was fixated on my arm movement. She would tell me every minute or so to stop wagging my arms. I tried to explain that arm movement while walking is something normal and natural. Its something he do without thinking. Apparently since it bothered her so much that i moved my arms while i walked, she stopped moving her arms altogether while she walks. so much that it looks unnatural and that shes giving alot of effort to look as stiff as a board. It almost seems that after she didnt like i moved my arms and that we stopped taking walks, its now about not looking at her.

    previously mentioned, she had been bullied all her elementary years. I cant tell you how many times i spoke to the teachers, vice principal, and principal with no luck. it seemed like it was my daughters word against the bully. It was really terrible.

    In addition to all of this, her father had spoiled her to death. To the point where she does nothing for herself. When she was younger, her father would yell at me to get her stuff. He also bought her whatever she wanted whenever without working for it. She has never earned anything she has.

    Now, she seems to have completely given up on school where before she was getting A's and B's. Now she doesnt care and she's lazy. She doesnt clean her room at all and does absolutely no cleaning around the house. I finally got her to do some cooking for herself.

    She use to be to the point where if i didnt feed her every meal or snack, she wouldnt eat at all. Thats how lazy she was. She would tell her grandmother that i dont feed her. Untrue. also, shes an extremely picky eater. If she doesnt like what i make, she also wont eat at all either. Sometimes i would find uneaten food under the bed or on her bed. The best success i had was when i tried taking the computer away. Most of the time, when i try taking the computer away, she screams and then goes to bed. Sometimes, she'll be in bed for hours until she comes out to use the bathroom or go into the kitchen.

    Im trying to get her to earn what she wants. So im at the point where everything is taken away until she has shown she deserves it. Also, no technology until she eats first. Eating is the priority because she doesnt seem to care too much about eating either.

    I also should mention that the years she was being bullied, she fell back on the computer. She seems to only have friendships online. Shes corresponding to a guy who is her age and supposedly is alot like her (im extremely sceptikal and am watching). So she has a computer addiction as well. She spends a minimum of 7 hours a day on internet game sites. When i find out which ones they are and block them, she finds another one to play. During the weekends, sometimes she'll be in her bedroom the whole weekend playing games. Its worse on summer break when the entire summer is gaming.

    She doesnt have much self esteem. When i try addressing it, she said im the one with the problem and im jealous of her. Also, that im fat and need to lose weight. She says she wants a boyfriend but shes really negative. She will make friends (boys and girls) then within a couple months shes not talking to them anymore because she doesnt like them. She has very little tolerance for others. Also, i think others have a hard time being around her because she is so negative.

    Ive been pushed over the edge and i literally want to send her away. The breaking point is the grades, she now has mostly c's , d's, and possibly an F. I put up with the bad behavior when she was getting good grades. I really fear for her future. She doesnt tolerate others well and she lost care for school. I dont know what to do.

    really hurts me is that she never hugs me or tell me she loves me. When it was mothers day, she knew the day but never wished me a happy mothers day. When i confronted her, she lies and said she didnt know the day.
    Not only do i have to deal with a child that shows me no affection, but her father wont discipline the kids at all either. He said its the mothers jobs.

    I know counseling, but i dont have money. We have the medicaid card but the counseling we were referred to is not very good. In the meantime, ive taken her luxuries away and im looking into the "happify" software for our computer as well as some kind of summer program for teens. Any ideas, ANy? We live in the chicagoland area.

    Last edited by SooExhausted; 06-07-2015 at 09:30 PM. Reason: I want to make sure my post is complete

     
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