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  • My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

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    Old 01-19-2017, 04:48 PM   #1
    Dolores98
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    My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    Let me start by saying that I am eighteen years old, and have been in a relationship for five months. I truly care about my boyfriend as he is my best friend and one of the best people I know. I would be happy to end up with him, and I know the feeling is mutual. I know many teenagers say this, and think their love will last infinitely, so maybe I am just like them. I don't know. It feels real though. My boyfriend is amazing, he's been there to support me always, even when we are angry. Whenever we get in a fight, even if we are both boiling mad, he will be the bigger man, initiate conversation, call me and tell me he loves me and he hopes I sleep well. He's my very best friend and the greatest man (other than my father) that I know. All my friends and family love him. He is so considerate, kind and gentle, but not mushy. One time when I had to do something after school and couldn't take my sister home, he drove to my school, got my sister and drove her all the way home (he lives on the other side of town) when I only asked him about an hour before. He has done countless other things that make him amazing. This post would be never ending if I listed them all. However, a few nights ago he received a text from a random number when we were on facetime. I thought nothing of it, shrugged it off and continued on with my life. About two days later, my friend came up to me and said "Your boyfriend is really something." I said thank you, that I knew and was lucky to have him in my life. She then told me he rejected her and she was upset, yet proud. I didn't understand what that meant, as they have never (to my knowledge) met. I asked her what she meant naturally. She then showed me texts between her and him, one where she sent him a booty pic and asked if he liked it. She was pretending to be someone else and near the end of the conversation, he somehow guessed it was her but she denied it. I must have had mentioned her or something because there is no way he could've guessed, he has never met her. I know for an absolute fact he has never met her. She was trying to hit on him or something, saying he was attractive and what not in the texts, and he was saying "I have a girlfriend" and stuff. But when she said him was working out was hot, he said, "Oh really how is it hot?" and stuff. Then she said she thought if he didn't have a girlfriend he would be trying to impress her. Then he responded, "Haha maybe I am I don't know." She then asked if he was indeed trying to and he said "I don't know maybe I am just impressive." I don't remember all of it, but one last thing I remember was her saying something about wanting a relationship with him. Then, he said "You are looking for a relationship with me??" I mean, that is just weird to me. I don't ever think he would cheat on me, I know, or at least I thought he loved me. Then, once I got home from school I asked him about the number and he told me "Oh I just never texted back." But I saw the texts myself. He left her on read and ended the conversation, saying he wasn't comfortable with her because he didn't know her.

    I am just so appalled he lied to me. We promised to never lie to each other. I am afraid to accuse him of lying because I feel like he'll think I put her up to it. I promise I did not have anything to do with it. For a few weeks now she has been complimenting his looks to me, saying he's attractive and seeming a little too interested. I don't know how she got his number, but I wouldn't be surprised if she saw it in my phone and took it. I don't know. I just can't believe he lied about responding. Why would he have to lie about it? This makes me question other things he has said to me in the past. I am so worried. I don't want to not trust him, but he literally just lied to my face. I know I am lying to him by not saying I know about it, but I am afraid he will think I put her up to it. Am I being too dramatic? I will admit, I am feeling rather (quite a bit) emotional today.

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    Old 01-19-2017, 05:45 PM   #2
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    I see no positive way forward until you open up to him about this. At the moment trust is shattered and it will not fix itself. talk to him, tell him what you know and express your sorrow and disappointment about his lying. Also get rid of this toxic 'friend' who has already caused a load of trouble. A lot depends on whether his very excellent points and the strength of your relationship can withstand this. Good luck, Sera

     
    Old 01-19-2017, 07:03 PM   #3
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    Thank you for your input. I agree, my so called friend and I had a chat and she's out of my life now. I just can't understand why he would lie. It doesn't make sense to me. I feel so sick thinking about it. But then again, I'm pretty dramatic.

     
    Old 01-20-2017, 08:42 AM   #4
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    first of all she was pursuing him.....it didn't sound like he took the bait....
    he probably didn't tell you because he knew he didn't do anything wrong and wasn't going to pursue it any further......why mention a non-issue to you?

    2nd of all, this girl is no friend....agree she is toxic.....write her off permanently

     
    Old 01-20-2017, 11:50 AM   #5
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    Hugs! What a horrible position to be put in I agree with the others about this so called friend, friends just don't do things like that to one another - especially considering she's never even met your boyfriend and would have to have been sly to get his phone number to begin with. Out with the trash I say!

    As for your boyfriend, he probably doesn't want to start any unnecessary drama between the two of you which is why he responded the way he did. It doesn't excuse his blatant lie to your face though and I would certainly call him out on it especially considering that so called friend of yours has now been removed from your life so it just goes to show that you had no part in setting this up.

    Once trust is broken and you don't open up together about it, things will only get worse from here on out I can almost promise this to you. Be open and honest with him, just as you expect him to be with you and you guys should be able to sort it out and get over it and any other issues that pop up in the future

    All the best!
    K.

     
    Old 01-23-2017, 08:49 AM   #6
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    If he is your best friend you should be able to communicate with him and in fact let him read what you just wrote here..or you could give him an example what would he thought or felt about if that happened to him.. good luck.

    Last edited by Administrator; 01-23-2017 at 12:52 PM.

     
    Old 01-23-2017, 11:10 AM   #7
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    Re: My Boyfriend is lying to me. Advice?

    Hey there Dolores, how are things going for you now? Just thought I would check in for an update

    I hope all is well!
    K.

     
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