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  • Giving chance to someone whos never really dated someone before?

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    Old 08-03-2017, 01:29 PM   #1
    IndigoKleo
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    Giving chance to someone whos never really dated someone before?

    Hi there,

    Curious for outside thoughts and perspectives for dating someone who isn't experienced very much in relationships? I'm sure much if it depends on the context, so let me elaborate:

    I met a guy online, but we also found we shared a couple mutual friends. We are both 29. We hit it off really well, and went on a couple dates. Seemed both in my experience and also asking our mutual friends (respectfully and privately) that he is genuine, just very introverted and shy/nervous. He openly told me he really hasn't had very much experience in love and relationships, but he had loved someone before, and is not a virgin. That he's seeking a more long term kind of thing, which is also what I'm ultimately seeking.

    I guess it seems a bit like a no brainer, and I certainly don't want to appear chastising for lack of experience. Like anything in life, you have to gain experience through the various jobs and positions you are in and it seemed like because of his reserved nature he just hadn't had many opportunities to. More curious maybe what you, the reader's insights are as to things I might not have though of, or more so if you've maybe dated someone not so experienced, what you had to really communicate about or what you butt heads on, etc.

    There also is a weird 3rd part to this story, and another reason why I've been a little more reserved in just letting it unfold. His best friend, who is a girl, was also the ex of someone I dated. I dated her ex right after her (2012, so, while ago), and the guy I'm interested in now had known my ex also. Its a worry for me because I know she kind of just decided she didn't like me only based off me dating her ex, and I've tried to speak with her on friendly neutral grounds a out other subjects and she's nice, but does bring up a few snarky things about that ex...she also is protective of her friends and there was one time I was trying to talk to the guy I like now, and she completely intervened and made him leave.

    I'm not worried at ALL about his relationship with her being more then friendly, they have been friends forever and I respect that. She has a boyfriend, And if she was just looking out for her friend, I also understand that. I'm more just concerned that being a on ongoing thing if I keep getting to know this guy more.

    I feel also like those two subjects kinda go hand in hand maybe? He's not so experienced not just because he's reserved but because she/other friends intervene? Just a thought also.

    Last edited by IndigoKleo; 08-03-2017 at 01:34 PM. Reason: Forgot our ages

     
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    Old 08-03-2017, 01:51 PM   #2
    sweetpotato13
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    Re: Giving chance to someone whos never really dated someone before?

    Kleo with all due respect, I think that you are overthinking this one. I am the Queen of overthinking so I know it when I see it, LOL.
    Sounds like you have found a shy guy. He's experienced love and intimacy. Just enjoy whatever relationship this blossoms into. I don't think there's anything to read into.

     
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    Old 08-06-2017, 11:55 AM   #3
    Thisby
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    Re: Giving chance to someone whos never really dated someone before?

    Yeah, you may be over thinking things. I would just let things progress naturally and see what happens. It's not like you have to make any huge commitment right now, do you?

    As for this female friend of his, she could potentially be a problem (the way a mom could be) but again, you'll have to let it play out. I can't imagine any real friend of a shy person would go out of their way to block a potential relationship for them.

    In general though, he's still too young for his lack of experience to be any kind of red flag.

    Best of luck with this!

     
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