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  • First Miscarriage

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    Old 01-05-2018, 04:25 PM   #1
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    Join Date: Jul 2013
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    Peanut0304 HB User
    First Miscarriage

    Let me start off by saying I never even knew I was pregnant at the time. I've been on birth control since I was 12 and am now 20. A year ago I changed over to Portia 21, which has a dose of almost three times higher than my original pills. I've had little to no issues with breakthrough bleeding and most starts to occur at 9-10 weeks even though I'm supposed to be taking the pills for 12 weeks at a time.

    This happened about 2 months ago. I take my birth control at the same time every day but this time due to me being stressed out from school I was late and ended up having to take it the next day along with that days pill (about 32 hours without BC protection). My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex which isn't uncommon but we've never once had issues as my BC keeps us protected without fail...when I take the pills on time. No issues there until a few weeks later.

    I was about 6 weeks into taking my pills and I noticed I was getting breakthrough bleeding, really weird because it was almost a month earlier than normal. I ignored it and went about my days. One night I woke up with the cramps where you just know somethings wrong. I stood up and, what i can describe as Niagara Falls, exited by body in blood version. I nearly passed out and screamed. The pain was intense. My aunt took me to the hospital where they ran tests and confirmed I was about 4 weeks pregnant and miscarrying. The next morning they sent me home with strict instructions on how to deal with this whole situation for the next week or two. At this point I had told only my best friend and I knew I had to tell my boyfriend (who lives away from me). When I did he was very concerned for my health/safety but overall seemed alright.

    Fast forward two months and suddenly we haven't had sex in over a week (very strange for us). I bring it up and he says after seeing my with my best friend's baby and their struggles he hasn't wanted to touch me. The miscarriage had just kept playing over and over in his head and he couldn't bring himself to do anything. I suggested we just use condoms, it really wasn't a big deal and he still brushed it off.

    My question is, how do I go about asking him about why this is hitting him now and why so hard? I'm over it and accepted it happened but it never deterred me from having sex with him. If you have any advice or experience with this please help...

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    Old 01-12-2018, 09:19 AM   #2
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    Join Date: Feb 2014
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    digdoug1 HB Userdigdoug1 HB Userdigdoug1 HB User
    Re: First Miscarriage

    People grieve in very different ways. My wife was instantly devastated by miscarriage. I was also, but, she was hit hard to start and took weeks to recover.

    It hit me hard, but I think my pain ebbs and flows when I think about it.

    I'd just have a good discussion, and wait until he's ready to have intercourse again. He will want to, but, it just takes time.

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