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  • I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

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    Old 01-23-2018, 05:44 PM   #1
    Arsena
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    I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Hi everyone i have been with this guy for 2 years.We are both 23 years old and very in love with each other.Everyone says to us that we inspirate them and we are a pefect couple with a perfect love.The problem is that this guy doesnt give me freedom to go out to drink something with my girlfriends (im talking about girls night).He says that now that we're together we can't go out at nights like this becouse the propouse of this is seeing other guys or flirting with others,or other man will offer me a drink and he is very jealous of thinking this stuff.Even of my birthday he hesitate to say yes honey go and have fun with your mom and your cousins( they are liberal and fun) HE SAID DONT GO THIS PLACE becouse there are alot of people and i dont like this place and i dont like that place etc etc.Even when i went with a friend for coffe he said he didnt like that type of coffe there are alot of people there.Even visiting a new place (going abroad) with my girflriends is STOPED. I can do this things only with him otherwise they are not allowed.I tried to talk with him but he is very stubborn and he is grown in a small place with small thoughts and not liberality.I sayed to him to stay with me you should change otherwise dont talk to me ever again.You know what he said? You are choosing going out and partying and traveling instead of having me.You are ready to loose me to go ans have fun you are so selfish.I really really love him.He really really loves me.When we are together we feel the happiest people in the world.And by the way about different issues recently (about 4 months) we broke up and get together manyyyy times and we are not having a longgg pace moment.Please i would very appreciate if you give some advice or a solution.Tell me what you think im here to listen all your words you have to say.Thank you very much for your time.

     
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    Old 01-24-2018, 05:09 AM   #2
    52ken
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    Re: Iam some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Most men don't mature until they are in their 30s or 40s. Even then it is not a given. He probably isn't going to change so you either accept him the way he is or break up. Being 23 is young and if you are not ready to settle down and get married then you probably know the answer. Most men are cool until they are in a committed relationship.

     
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    Old 01-24-2018, 08:19 AM   #3
    quincy
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    Re: Iam some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Run as fast as you can away from this very toxic and controlling relationship. You will become weaker as he becomes stronger each time you go back.

    Seek therapy so that you don't keep falling for the same sort of man.

    Your life is yours...love is not what you are experiencing.

    I wish you well....please take control of your life now rather than later.
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    Old 01-24-2018, 10:17 AM   #4
    Arsena
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    Re: Iam some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 52ken View Post
    Most men don't mature until they are in their 30s or 40s. Even then it is not a given. He probably isn't going to change so you either accept him the way he is or break up. Being 23 is young and if you are not ready to settle down and get married then you probably know the answer. Most men are cool until they are in a committed relationship.
    Thank you very much for your answer

     
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    Old 01-24-2018, 01:45 PM   #5
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    he's manipulative and controlling and these types of people just get worse. You let them get a little control and they run with it and pretty soon your life is not your own anymore. Please get out of this relationship. It's no good for you. He doesn't own you, you aren't his property. You have free will and are able to make your own decisions. Make the right one and choose YOU.

     
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    Old 01-24-2018, 04:37 PM   #6
    Arsena
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    Re: Iam some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by quincy View Post
    Run as fast as you can away from this very toxic and controlling relationship. You will become weaker as he becomes stronger each time you go back.

    Seek therapy so that you don't keep falling for the same sort of man.

    Your life is yours...love is not what you are experiencing.

    I wish you well....please take control of your life now rather than later.

    Thank you very much

     
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    Old 01-24-2018, 04:41 PM   #7
    Arsena
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    he's manipulative and controlling and these types of people just get worse. You let them get a little control and they run with it and pretty soon your life is not your own anymore. Please get out of this relationship. It's no good for you. He doesn't own you, you aren't his property. You have free will and are able to make your own decisions. Make the right one and choose YOU.
    Thank you so much

     
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    Old 01-25-2018, 05:10 AM   #8
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Unfortunately what you are seeing now will only get worse. Men like this are toxic...they are insecure and afraid. You dont want to be in this relationship or you wouldnt have broken up before...

    Find yourself a guy who respects you enough to let you have your own life and isnt threatened by you wanting to have friends. If someone told me I couldnt spend time with my friends or my mother- I would look at them like they had two heads and do it anyway...and probably never talk to them again.

    Im married to a guy who allows me to travel without him- go on girls nights regularly- and never EVER asks questions. In return, I allow him to do the same..when we are together afterwards, its better! We are both smiling and happy and have stories to tell each other which make us appreciate each other. Neither of us ever thinks of cheating because WHY would we? We have a great marriage!

    Good luck, but please consider that this is a form of abuse- verbal abuse. You do not have to take it and it will not get better..
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    Old 01-25-2018, 09:37 AM   #9
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    it's also emotional abuse....whenever manipulation is involved, it's emotional abuse. Using guilt, etc...

     
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    Old 01-25-2018, 11:04 AM   #10
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    All abusers start off by separating their victim from any friends, relatives and any other support. Once you are isolated and dependent, then they can treat you how they like. Your boyfriend's keeping you away from other people is a HUGE red flag. Don't let it happen. Do not stop seeing friends and family. Sera

     
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    Old 01-26-2018, 01:44 PM   #11
    Arsena
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    Thank you Sera for your opinion. Actually he doesn't say don't meet your siblings it's not about them it's about the place. He hates places full of people or night clubs. I don't know if this is ok or not?

     
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    Old 01-27-2018, 10:56 AM   #12
    Kszan
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    No it's not ok at all. You should tell him to put on his big boy pants and grow up or else you're done with him. And stick to it. Don't allow someone to control you because that's NOT ok!

     
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    Old 01-27-2018, 01:55 PM   #13
    JohnR41
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    Re: I am some girl in love with my boyfriend but i have no freedom!

    I'm not going to try to defend your boyfriend because I think he's too controlling. However, the part about going to a night club for drinks with your girlfriends makes me wonder. (I don't drink or go to night clubs so I'm not sure I understand.)

    I always thought the purpose was to get noticed by the opposite sex. Do your friends like to get noticed and have men flirt with them? Do men flirt with you?
    And when you've been drinking, isn't it remotely possible that your judgment may become impaired to the point where you enjoy the flirtations? And just because you haven't acted on it yet, isn't it possible that you might in the future if the right guy comes along?

    In the case of night clubs and drinking your boyfriend might see that as a slippery slope.

    Last edited by JohnR41; 01-27-2018 at 02:02 PM.

     
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