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    Old 08-11-2003, 05:29 PM   #16
    Creeky
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    Hi Hope_abounds,

    First of all, I have to tell you that I love that screen name because it is so inspirational! Secondly, thank you for responding to my post.

    If you donít mind, could share with me what you went through to get off of the Xanax? I would really appreciate it information on this. Was withdraw from Xanax the same as it is with Percocet? If so, what were your withdraw symptoms like? Also, what was the worst thing you had to go through, and how did you get through it?

    Any information at this point would be very helpful to me. Any advice or suggestions that you could offer me would help me out a lot.

    Thank you so much, and I hope all is well.

    Take Care,
    ~Creeky
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
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    Old 08-11-2003, 05:34 PM   #17
    Creeky
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    Hi Mrallen,

    Congratulations to you for being clean for 107 days, that is wonderful! SIX years, oh my goodness, that is such a long time, but I am so happy to hear that you conquered your demons!

    Thank you so much for answering my post. I really appreciate the links that you provided to me. They were very helpful in my researching.

    You had mentioned Vitamin C, does this really help with the cravings? The link that you provided for me about the vitamins was very helpful too. I was just a little confused because there were a lot of vitamins listed, but I am assuming that the vitamin c is the most important one if I am going to taper, right?

    At this point, I am not sure if I should taper or go into an inpatient detox program. What do you suggest I do?

    If I were to go this route and taper, how do I go about doing this as far as the Percocets go? What do you mean by taper down while detoxing? Does this mean to slowly decrease my amount of Percocet? If so, how do I know how much I should take, and how long I should take it for? Ex; Take 8 pills for 5 days then 7 for 5 days and ect.... I am now taking 8 a day, so what do you suggest?

    So if I decide to taper, all I would need to do is, go out and buy Vitamin C and take 4000 mgs a day, and then go to GNC and get a detox program along with detox tea? Is this what you did? That doesn't sound to bad, but I wish I could find a doctor who would prescribe me the same medications that they perescribe patients in a detox center.

    Mrallen, I don't think that I would be able to go cold turkey like you did. Why did you decide to go this route? Did you do the vitamin C and the detox teas and quit cold turkey that way or did you taper then go cold turkey?

    Why the hot baths? What is up with that? What did you take for the diarrhea and for sleep? Oh my gosh, I am so scared! Will I be vomiting?

    As far as getting a lot of movies and DVD's, I understand the need for that. That is a great idea.

    As far as praying, God will be with me, I trust that he will. I will pray for the strength to get through this, and I know he will make it possible for me to do so. I think that me praying and wanting to change, is the reason why I want to finally do this. I guess I am just scared, cause I don't know what I am about to go through, its my fear of the unknown, but God will pull me through this.

    I am sitting here bawling my eyes out as I write this. I will keep you guys posted as much as I can, and thank you so much for being there for me as I go through this. I will try to be very strong for this board, my family and myself.

    I will let you know if I decide to go through inpatient detox or the way that you have suggested as far as tapering. I should know this within the next couple of days.

    Please if you can, I would really appreciate if you could answers my questions, so that I can make a decision on what to do.

    Thank you so much Allen. I will pray that you continue to stay clean and be strong. I think you are a great role model and keep up the good work, I am very proud of you!

    Take Care & God Bless,
    ~Creeky
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 05:39 PM   #18
    Creeky
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    Hi Okieatheart,

    Thank you for the welcome and thank you for being here for me! I really appreciate it.

    I think the Oxy Contin is out of the question for me at this point. I have been able to set my limit on the amount of Percs that I take each day, but I must say that it is starting to get harder to do that, and this is why I have to make a change quikly.

    The funky cole madina dance, that was just to funny! It brought a smile to my face, after the long cry that I had after writing to Allen, I needed that!

    I don't know how you could stop cold turkey, but good for you....now that is what I call willpower and inner strength! You must be a very strong person and you should be very proud of yourself, i know I am even though I don't know you! Anyway...CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!

    I will keep everyone posted on this big change that I am about to make. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart!

    One question for you okie, do you feel better now that you aren't on them anymore? If so, how?

    Good luck to you and congratulations!

    Take Care & God Bless,
    ~Creeky
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 06:48 PM   #19
    Creeky
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    Hi Bellgirl,

    WOW, you and I have a lot in common! Thank you so much for your response and for sharing your story with me. I am very grateful for that.

    Bellgirl, I do feel hopeless, depressed and terrified, and I did feel isolated and alone until you wonderful people came to my rescue! I will never forget about the support that I received from people I have never met. God works in mysterious ways!

    At this time, I am very confused about what I should do. Do I go to inpatient detox, or try tapering myself. I guess right now, I am just beside myself.

    I have tried weaning myself off many times, and I have failed every darn time! I just can't seem to do it. You are so right about the addiction being bigger then we are, because it is. I just can't figure out how a small pill or pills, can take hold of your life the way that it has a hold of me. I use to think that I was to smart or to strong of a person to become addicted to anything. Now look at me!

    I do feel alone, I feel very alone, until I found this board! I am very embarrassed about the situation that I got myself into, and never thought I would end up being an addict. I have not told anyone about this except my husband and my father, and they are not so understanding. I think my father is, more then my husband.

    As far as finding a doctor who would specialize in helping me detox without checking into a facility, oh my gosh bellgirl, that would be the answer for me. I could probably do the inpatient detox, but I like you have children, so that would be very hard to leave them. But, I am also at the point that if I had to go, I would. But, if there was another way besides inpatient detox, I am all for it. What kind of doctor should I look for? I think this may be the answer to what I am looking for. How do I go about doing this or starting this? I guess what I am asking from you, is to give me some kind of direction. So any input that you could give me on this, would be greatly appreciated.

    If I could get prescription medications to help me get through all the withdraws and still be home, I could do this, I know I could! Please, tell me what kind of doctor that I need to look for. I am actually excited about going this route, but don't want to get my hopes up yet.

    Bellgirl, I can totally understand what you mean by going to the meetings or being in the position that you have to, because it just isn't you. That is exactly how I felt about this situation, but if I have learned any lessons in this addiction, the one major lesson that I have learned is, addiction doesn't discriminate against anyone! I do think after all this time taking the percocets, I am really going to need the counseling and support, because I am not sure if I can handle being normal or even living a normal life without the percs.

    I can tell you one thing that this addiction has done to me, it has made me an emotional mess and depressed. However, in the beginning of this addiction, the pill helped me with stress because it actually made me happy, now I take them just to function with everyday life which makes me depressed.

    I am so excited to hear how happy you are in your life at this moment. Your story gives me hope. I know it has got to be better then the hell I am in! I wish I could snap my fingers and bypass a month, and be were you are right now as far as being clean, that must be a great feeling!

    At the end of your post, you sound so happy and upbeat, is this how it is when you are clean? Can you please tell me how you have been feeling since you got off the vicodins? Are you happier with yourself and life without the vicodins?

    If you don't mind me asking, what positive and negative changes have you seen since you have been clean? I don't mean to ask you a lot of questions, but I like to get as much information as I can when I am about to take a major step.

    Bellgirl, thank you for sharing your story with me. It has truly made a positive impact on how I was thinking and feeling. Thank you for helping me to realize that I am not alone and that itself has made a huge difference, and has actually lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. Instead of carrying all of this weight alone, and walking around with a bunch of unanswered questions, you along with everyone else, has helped me with this burden.

    I did not think that I would get the amount of support that all of you have shown, and I want to say thank you and everyone else for helping me.

    Your post really hit home, because I know that from your post along with everyone else, I know that all of you truly understand what I am going through.

    As far as you posting to someone name Newbie, I knew that your post was meant for me, so don't worry about it no harm was done. I am also glad that I was your first post!

    Again, thank you for sharing your story with me. You and many others are a great inspiration to people like me. Keep up the good work and I hope for your continued success!

    Take Care & God Bless,
    ~Creeky
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 07:27 PM   #20
    Creeky
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    Hi Banjoboy,
    I am glad to here that you only had to go through bad withdrawals for 5 days. I hope that it works that way for me, but I don't have that kind of luck.

    I am assuming by your post, that the Psychological effect takes longer to get over then the physical dependence and that is why the AA or NA is very important to attend. I was not even thinking about once I became clean what I was going to do. I guess I need to look into this too!

    I am so glad that I found this board. I had no idea that once you got through the physical part of the addiction, then you have to go through the emotional part, which makes a lot sense to me. I wouldn't mind going to group counseling, as long as I wouldn't be criticized or frowned upon, which I don't think would happen in these meetings.


    I hope that you can continue to control your intake of the pain meds, I wish I could have done that. I am also very glad to hear that your doctor is keeping a close watch and changing your meds occasionally. I hope someday that your back gets better to the point that you don't need to take anything for it, but if you do, trust me, I understand. Back pain is NO fun at all!

    Thank you for your wonderful advice, and good luck to you on your back. Thanks for lending a ear.

    Take Care & God Bless,
    ~Creeky
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 09:14 PM   #21
    Creeky
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    Hi VeryLucky,

    I am so glad that you understand what I mean about my doctor. He has never been a compassionate doctor, and I don't think he is capable of it. I too feel like it is unethical, immoral and to be quite frank with you, WRONG, for my doctor to give me narcotics for over a year, and then not help me when I want to get off of them.

    In the begining of my injury, I explained to him my fear of addiction, and yet he still prescribed them to me saying that when I decided to stop taking them, he would help me. But his way of helping me is stopping cold turkey which I explained to you in my previous post. Is there anything that I can say to him to convince him to taper me with medications that would help me get through with the withdrawal symptoms?

    I don't think going cold turkey is the answer for me. I already have bouts of depression and back pain as it is, and if going cold turkey intensifies the pain and depression, I will never make it. I think that I would give in and give up, and take the percs. I like you would feel that it was easier to be an addict then to live like this.

    Verylucky, thank you for being very honest about the withdrawals, and please don't paint a pretty picture for me. I need to hear the truth even if it does scare the sh** out of me. I would hate to go through all of this not knowing what the withdrawals are and then find out later on. I want to be prepared for this!

    This may sound a little crazy to you, but this is how my mind works. I always think of the worst first, that way when it happens, I am prepared and not so upset over the outcome. But if the worst never happens, then hey I am more excited. If I don't prepare myself for the worst and it happens, then I am not prepared, and will not be able to handle the outcome of the situation. So, I am trying to prepare myself for the worst. So please don't ever worry about what you say to me, okay? I will never hold it against you, I promise!

    I would also like to thank you for explaining the AA/NA issue with me. I sort of thought that your choice was AA, but I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't misunderstanding you. The reason why I thought I was mistaken was, I have always thought that AA was only for alcoholics and that only they could attend AA meetings, but I guess I was wrong. I am glad to hear that it isn't that way anymore. The point you made on both AA/NA makes a lot of sense to me. I like the point that you brought up about people having more clean time at the AA meetings vs. the NA meetings. I guess when I get through the withdrawals, I will make sure I go to the AA meetings as far as getting the support that I am desperatly going to need.

    I am hoping that you can help me with something that I am very confused about and I know that you will be able to help me with. Please correct me if I am wrong on any of this.

    I have learned today that I have 3 choices that I can make to get myself clean:

    1. I can quit cold turkey and get vitamins and detox stuff from the health store, and the withdrawals will be very uncomfortable.
    2. I can go to a inpatient detox facility where they can monitor me and make me comfortable with the withdrawals.
    3. I can get medication on an outpatient basis to help with the withdrawals in the privacy of my own home and the medication can make the withdrawals more comfortable to deal with.

    Okay, this is where my confusion sets in. What exactly is tapering, and how does that come into to play with the 3 options that I listed above? Please try to remember lucky, that this is all foreign to me. I took in a lot of helpful information today and now I am trying to sort it all out. I think I understand most of it, but I am confused about the tapering. Could you please explain this to me when you get a chance. And if I got anything wrong above, please feel free to correct me.

    Lucky, have you ever thought about going into some kind of counseling or being a spokesperson/advocate for someone? If not, I think you should look into it! I think people like you who have the knowledge and the experience, could be a great asset to help many people like me. I read your post and thought wow, you must be my guardian angel because you are so understanding.
    I just thought that I would mention this to you. I am sure your outpatient facility would love to have someone like you speak at thier meetings.

    I am very grateful that you have taken the time to share your experience with me. By doing that,it is helping me more then you will ever imangine. I am glad that we are able to help each other out. Thank you for all of your kindness.

    God Bless,
    ~Creeky




    [This message has been edited by Creeky (edited 08-12-2003).]
    __________________
    ~May 2002: Injured at work
    ~June 2002: Had MRI
    ~June 2002: ESI's
    ~July 2002: EMG
    ~March 2003: Discogram
    ~April 2003: Transforamital Injection
    ~May 2003: Intra-Discal Injection
    ~May 2003: Second opinion Doctor said only ADR is my only option.
    ~May 2003: Postponed Nucleoplasty.
    ~June 2003: Went to Doctor for severe Depression.
    ~June 2003 - Present: Taking one day at a time. Learning to adapt to a new way of life.

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 09:52 PM   #22
    bellgirl
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    Hi Creeky -

    I'm so glad my response was helpful to you. One thing I'm learning is that it helps me in my own recovery to be able to help others who are suffering from something similar. So in helping you, I am also helping myself - thanks for that!

    I am eager to help you find a doctor who could help you detox on an outpatient basis. I don't know what city or part of the country you live in, but I have a close friend who is a therapist specializing in substance abuse (How strange is that? He and I spent our college years drinking quarts of tequila together, dropping acid, taking quaaludes and other mind-altering substances too numerous to mention. Fortunately for him, he stopped the madness years ago.). He is the one who suggested a doctor to me, since we both live in the same city. I am going to ask him how you might find someone in your area. If you want to be more specific about where you live, I can give him that information. But if you prefer not to (totally understandable and your call), maybe he can still help. I feel pretty sure he'll have at least one or two suggestions for how to proceed.

    The main thing I want you to know is that you are going to be okay. I can feel how relieved you are, as I was, to find the support of everyone on this site. There are many others out there who understand! Just your communicating is the first step toward recovery. Remember as I said before, from tiny steps come bigger ones.

    Yes, I feel a tremendous sense of relief at being over the physical withdrawal. You asked about the positive and negative feelings I have on my road to recovery. The positives are abundant. I am no longer compelled to swallow pills all day, to watch the clock agonizing over when I could take my next "dose," to compulsively count pills and plan how to scam the next doctor into giving me more, to lie to my husband about why I'm too tired to have sex or even engage in intelligent conversation after 9 pm, to feel the mind-blowing guilt and shame of losing patience with my beautiful children for no good reason...I could go on. That part of the insanity is OVER. It will be over for you soon too because you are committed to getting well.
    Sobriety is a tremendous, serene relief.

    The negatives are undeniable but they pale in comparison. It would sound crazy to a non-addict, but a part of me misses the vicodin! I can't believe it's true, but my addicted, irrational side wishes at times that I could just go back to taking a pill or two once in awhile just for fun. The fact that those days are over sometimes makes me sad. This is the most puzzling part for me, and one which I need to be extremely careful about. I have friends who take vicodin on occasion recreationally, and I know the time will come when someone will offer me a couple of pills just to get silly and relax -- or an unknowing doctor or dentist will offer to prescribe them for me. I know I have to stay on my toes always to avoid succumbing to the temptation. That's how it is with addicts. And that's why the AA meetings have been really helpful. I understand that it would NOT be okay for me to take even one vicodin a year or two from now. It's a slippery slope toward relapse. So that's one negative. Another is that I still have some trouble sleeping at night. I have trouble falling asleep and don't always sleep through without waking. This is a pain, because I love to sleep and need my rest to keep up with my three kids -- but others tell me it definitely gets better. Resuming a normal sleep pattern is often one of the most time-consuming parts of overcoming physical addiction to narcotics.

    It's late and I'm pretty tired (I'm in NY right now visiting family and it's almost 1:00 am) so I'm sure I've left out some things. When I think of them I'll post again. For now I'll just say that the positives FAR outweigh the negatives. I have my life back, not to mention my self-esteem. I am a clear-thinking, capable, devoted mother, spouse, daughter and friend once again. You will be too. Let me know if you have more questions. God bless you.
    - Bellgirl

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 11:06 PM   #23
    verylucky
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    Creeky,
    Keep asking all the questions you want. I'm really caught up in your excitement of getting clean. I am also positive that the more you know, the less chance there is of a relapse. I did the very minimum when I first tried to get clean 5 years ago and relapsed time and time again and would be willing to do a little more every time I relapsed and learned a little more each time until I became relatively knowledgable about the disease process.

    The way you ask questions, you could be one of those fortunate souls who never relapses. There are several of them in my AA home group and I am really envious and think the major difference between them and me is that they were more willing to be what the oldtimers in AA call "teachable", whereas I was more of an arrogant know-it-all (and I also think there is some validity in the theory that some addicts' brains don't produce the natural opiates that a "normal" brain produces -- unfortunately, that topic has taken some unnecessary heat on this board, which could very well be my fault). Oh well, we all have to take our own path.

    Anyway, my point in all of this is that you have a heck of a lot of those tendencies of the people who I've observed being "teachable" from the very beginning. Please don't ever lose that aspect of your personality.

    I think there are actually 4 options for you and that tapering is the one you didn't list. Tapering is, basically, taking the dosage you take now and, slowly (the slower the better) but steadily, decreasing your intake over time until you are taking such a small dose you can put them down for good. You will still need to be connected to people in recovery (i.e. AA/NA) because you are still going to have the mental obsessions we spoke about previously.

    There is some rule out there about not decreasing more than 10% per week (or maybe it's per month). I'm having trouble remembering because I never was very good at the tapering thing. If I could get my hands on the pills they were going down the hatch.

    However, you sound like you have the attitude that may be just perfect for tapering. And, in my opinion, I think tapering (if a person can really do it) would be the best and least painful way of detoxing -- you mentioned the word "comfortable" in a couple of the options you listed but I don't think you are ever going to feel "comfortable" while using the other ways of detoxing you listed, but you could very well get thru the tapering process with a minimum amount of discomfort.

    There is a fella on here occasionally that goes by the name of "philster" who really knows his stuff about tapering. Do me a favor. If he doesn't write to you within a day or so on this thread, start a new thread with his name in it and ask him about his "plan". He has it down to a science and is always willing to help those that want to go the taper route. If I was ever going to try tapering again, he is the one I would go to for help.

    You mentioned going to AA/NA meetings "after" you are detoxed. You can (and if you are able, you should) go to meetings while you are detoxing (some inpatient facilities require it). The old axiom is "90 meetings in 90 days". That means you go to 90 meetings for 90 days in a row starting the first day off the pills.

    You will be absolutely amazed at the support you get when you are just starting out. The only thing I would ask you to do is promise me you will speak up at the beginning of every meeting and introduce yourself and just tell the people in the meeting what day you are on and how you are feeling at that time. That was a hard thing for me to do but it is something you really need to do because, as you will see, everyone will want to help you and will be willing to share their own experiences on getting clean. This definitely will make the process much easier psychologically and, as a result, it will seem easier physiologically.

    In addition, after a couple of weeks, you will find the meetings that you feel the most comfortable at and they will be something you actually look forward to. I don't want to mislead you here because I absolutely hated going to meetings at first (I think this was largely because of my oversized ego at the time) and there are some meetings that I won't go back to even today. However, there are also some meetings (one in particular) that if I ever miss it, I feel like I've really not had a very productive week (unless, of course, there is a good reason for me not being there -- vacation, program at the kids' school, etc.).

    As far as your doctor goes, I really don't know what you might want to say other than to tell him that you have exhaustively researched the detox issue and want to try the taper route and tell him your exact plan and ask him to prescribe the medications to you in such a way to assist you in the process.

    I can't imagine any doctor turning you down if you present it in that way. However, I have learned the hard way that the medical profession (especially the ones not in recovery) are really clueless when it comes to addiction and I've seen them do some pretty dumb things.

    I think that covers everything but the guardian angel issue. To say that I'm humbled and more than a little prideful of you making that statement would be a huge understatement. However, whatever you do, don't ever make a single human being your "higher power". You can rely on God or, if you have issues with religion, you can use the AA/NA group as your higher power, or you can even use inanimate objects (I even heard someone in AA a while back say they used a doorknob as their "higher power" because they were so disconnected with God -- I don't think that would have worked for me, but to each his own).

    The point is that you HAVE a higher power because you can't do this on your own. What usually happens is what happened with me -- I came into recovery as an atheist, after my second relapse I was an agnostic, after my third relapse I was definitely a believer and after my fourth relapse I was a full-blown Jesus freak. I'm exagerrating a little but I think you get my point -- have a higher power but don't rely on any individual person as your higher power. I am not so presumptuous to think you are doing that with me or with anyone else on the board but I was a little concerned (after my head shrunk back down to its normal size) when you made the guardian angel comment.

    As far as me being a counselor, again, I'm flattered that you would say that but I'll leave that to the professionals. All I'm doing is passing on what any person who has been serious about recovery for any length of time knows.

    Take care, God bless, and keeping asking questions.
    verylucky

    p.s. Creeky, My wife and I are taking a day off and taking the kids to an amusement park all day tomorrow/today as an "end of summer" outing so I probably won't be around until tomorrow night but look forward to hearing from you then. (I think I'm looking more forward to going to the park than the kids are). verylucky

     
    Old 08-11-2003, 11:58 PM   #24
    Root
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    Hi Creeky. Boy your story sure sounds just like mine accept I am taking hydros not percocets. I was taking 40 pills a day and I was cut down on my own to about 25 when I found this place. Phil helped me alot with a taper list and I've found so many nice people here who really care about you and I think of them as my friends. After I first started reading everything here I got real confused and depressed because there is so much to know. I found out that every one has to do what is best for him self or her self. I am on a taper and it is working for me. I even got the courage to talk to my doctor after being on here for a while and told him what was up. I have chronic pain and that's how I started on the hydros. Any way, my doctor has me cutting back 3 pills every week for now. I will see him after four weeks and then he said he might change how I taper and he said he will probably give me some medicine for pain but not narcotic. I have a couple people here who are very nice and write to me and it helps me to come here every night even when I don't write anything. I also made a friend who lives by me and he is helping me to stay on my taper and he will take me to a AA meeting this week. I don't know what is good for anyone else but I found out I just have to keep my eye on where I want to be in the next few weeks. I don't let myself cheat at all and I pray a lot. I feel God helping me but that's just me, I know a lot of people don't like this kind of talk and I'm not in any religion. But God is helping me and my friends and this board and the taper isn't that bad. I tried to cold turkey once and I thought I would die. I can't do that and I don't want to take other narcotics so the taper is the best for me. I will be all off the hydros in about five weeks now and maybe less. I just don't let myself even think about taking any more than exactly what is on my taper list. I am taking fewer hydros now than I have taken in over a year and I never thought I could even go on this little bit compared to what I was taking. I just want to tell you that I know where you are coming from and I will be your friend here Creeky and I will pray for you. I know you will do the best thing for you.

     
    Old 06-18-2004, 07:56 AM   #25
    SHERRIE TUCKER
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    SHERRIE TUCKER HB User
    Re: Please Help Me With This Addiction!

    HEY....I CAN SOOOOOOOOOOO RELATE TO YOU! I AM AN 10 MG PERCOCET & 10 MG OXYCONTIN IN TH AM & 20 MG @ NIGHT. & I AM SILL IN PAIN! GO FIGURE! I DONT THINK THESE DOCS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. i KNOW THAT IF I FORGET ME PM DOSE OF OXY I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH THE "IM GONNA CRAWEL OUT OF MY SKIN" FEELING. I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING OFF. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH VICODEN WITHDEAWLS & FOUND IT HELPFUL TO TAKE VALARIAN ROOT CAPSULES. YOU CAN GET THEM AT ANY HEALTH FOOD STORE. THE TAKE AWAY THE SKIN CRAWLING FEELING. I AM HERE TO TALK IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I NO LONGER GET THAT GOOOOOOOD FEELING FROM THE PILLS EITHER....& THATS A REAL BUMMER!
    IM HERE IF YA NEED ME!
    SHERRIE

     
    Old 06-19-2004, 06:55 AM   #26
    sadsister
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    Re: Please Help Me With This Addiction!

    Creeky-
    You've gotten alot of good advice-but i wanted to respond to your post-as i know and relate to where you are right now-
    My advice-from my experience w/ long term heavy opiate addiction is good news..YOU CAN DO THIS.
    #1-your on a reasonable dose-that whether you choose a taper or in /out patient detox-you should be able to withstand the w/d's-the problem is pain-what is your alternative-
    Have you considered methadone-one dose daily for pain-and addiction-its tough to come off methadone-but its an option-also suboxone-which can be used for moderate pain-but is used to maintain addicts-for a short term detox-
    So much wonderful advice given here-i don't need to elaborate much-but i got a good feeling you'll be getting it going soon-and i wish you the best.
    Support like AA/Na-couseling/therapy is essential-as no one needs to do this alone-
    Good luck!
    Heather

     
    Old 06-19-2004, 09:55 AM   #27
    bluej
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    Re: Please Help Me With This Addiction!

    Creeky,
    Boy, talk about someone who knows what you're going thru, unreal, your story could be mine. It's eerie, I have the EXACT same feelings you're having. First, I tried the taper, ran out of pills, decided not to get the refills and I tried the cold turkey, it didn't work. I even had the Klonopin and Beta Blockers, still couldn't do it. I am going to try it again, I know what to expect now, this was my first experience with wd's after four years of use. Vicodin and Morphine were my downfall. I agree don't start the Oxycontin, if you want to quit you can't add another drug. I also agree to try the taper or inhouse detox. Do the taper first, if a no go, get into an in house detox program. You could try the cold turkey method, but I'll warn you it's VERY VERY hard. However, there are alot of people who can do it. It's hard to live the way we're living using, and it's hard to stop, you have to be the one to decide which is harder. I think when you make that decision, honestly, you'll be successful. Best of luck to you and God Bless.
    bluej

     
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