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    Old 12-07-2002, 01:44 PM   #1
    crowsun1964
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    Post Borderline Personality Disorder

    Just wanted to find anyone else who has BPD and ages, when diagnosed, SI, depression anything you want to talk about...thanks

     
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    Old 12-09-2002, 02:36 AM   #2
    blue cloud
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    welcome to the boards crowsun

    as you can see there are quite a few of us here with BPD but i am sure they will all be along soon to introduce themselves.

    im a 20 year old female who has been dianosed with many things but they settled on BPD about a year ago but who knows it could change again http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif



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    Old 12-18-2002, 01:03 PM   #3
    carjol
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    Hi there Crow Sun, I'm brand new to these boards. I saw your post on the 'Mental Health' Board and saw they moved it to this one. I guess I'll be going back and forth between the two.

    Question: what is 'SI' ?

    I was originally said to be Borderline Personality in Feb 1997, which I sure was. That was right on the nail. It was pure Hell most of the time. I just didn't like most people. People stupidity really bugged me. It was very hard. I was Married to the most easy going Man and even he could only take so much insanity. He divorced me two years later. I had a complete breakdown in 1999 and qualified for Social Security Disability which I've been on for more than 3 years now, mainly for "MAJOR DEPRESSION." I just now this past September started to be Happy again and I turned 45 that month too! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif Turns out I am doing very well in my own little world all by myself, just me and my Cat Fillmore. I'm even starting to be creative again and listening to music again. It's been a long long time. It's turning out that I won't be a confused mess for the rest of my Life after all! This is incredible! I'm just such a freak and a misfit. I don't get along with society at all. It's best that I be left alone. In 1999 I was told I am also Schizoid, Schizotypal, Schizoaffective, Post Traumatic Stress Disorders among others. Which is also all right on the nail. I think I have a Happy ending here. Thanks to a very smart Psychiatrist who know Meds. I was first given Paxil in 1997. The Paxil has helped like crazy on the Death Anxiety I used to suffer. And then in 1999 I was given Seroquel to help with tolerating people. Thats worked really well also.

    I hope I've been of help.



    [This message has been edited by carjol (edited 12-18-2002).]
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    Old 12-20-2002, 04:25 AM   #4
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    hiya carjol and a very warm welcome to you too

    SI is self injery also known as self harm or self mutilation there is a board here for that also

    most people hop between the different boards sometimes it is difficult to keep up with myself

    well i hope you both find as much care and support that i have found here and have a good christmas



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    Old 01-07-2003, 01:32 PM   #5
    Kaitie
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    Hi and Welcome...

    I'm a 20 year old female (like Blue) and have been diagnosed with Borderline. It's a roller coaster ride for sure.

    My mom laughs when I say "People don't like me because they think I'm too hard to handle" and she says "You ARE hard to handle!" It's funny - but sad in a way....

    I've got a VERY loving and understanding boyfriend of three years. He lives with my quirks and loves me for me.

    I've gone through some pretty ugly and dangerous stages of SI but I haven't done it in a while - so if you ever need support there - you could ask. In helping others - like on this board - I often find that I'm helping myself.

    I went to my psychologist the other day and said "Okay - this is big, so be warned!" and he was like "Okay..." and I said "Things have settled down! I'm not crazy happy and I'm not totally peeved - people at school are liking me, and I'm liking them!"

    There are good moments - thankfully, but I know I'm always very close to temper tantrum stage (even at this age) and I do still scream and cry and hate everything (but don't we all at some point!)

    Please let me know everything about you - and we can help ourselves by helping eachother!

    Kaitie

     
    Old 01-07-2003, 08:33 PM   #6
    Angelene
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    I'll admit I don't know much about BPD, but reading through these posts has got me wondering...I really do have problems tolerating people. Right now I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, but I still get incredibly frustrated with people at work. It's gotten to the point where I hate people...I keep telling myself it's depression, that I don't dislike other people, I'm just impatient and intolerant of ... their ignorance and stupidity. But is this what a borderline personality disorder is? Or a full fledged personality disorder? I'm curious about this...

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    Old 01-10-2003, 07:43 AM   #7
    Gail
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    Katie,

    I used to have REALLY BIG FITS OF RAGE!! I was wondering, do you take a mood stabilizer? I am on Topomax at this time. Things really changed for me when I started on a mood stabilizer. It's not perfect, in fact, last night I threw the cordless phone across the room, but it's much better than before.

    I too have a some support in a very loving and understanding (most of the time) mother. That really helps too.

    Gail

     
    Old 01-10-2003, 11:51 AM   #8
    Kaitie
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    Gail - thanks for posting (and sorry to everyone else that we're talking about a post within a post).

    I've been thinking a LOT lately about mood stabilizers. I'm a very tospy-turvey girl. Yestderday I nearly ended my relationship with my boyfriend because the whole world was making me SO ANGRY - today he asked me "Are you just being nice like this because you're worried about how I'm going to react after yesterday?". The truth is - I am as happy today as ever, and many of the same scenarios are still happening today - it's like I've taken a new perspective (which won't last sadly).

    It's all or none - one or the other, Mad beyond control, or hyper beyond control - and the WORST THING - is that I switch from side to side like a (???) hmmmm, think of something that switches A LOT from side to side and thats me (I'm not feeling creative right now)

    Getting on with it. I've never taken any meds for my situation - I just decided to fight it out naturally (HARD) but now I'm kinda losing the battle.

    Tell me about Topomax...I'm willing to talk to my doctor about all the options - but inside info would be the best. Has it really helped? What are the side affects? Oh, and $$$ (I'm a full time University Student with little to spare!)

    Kaitie

     
    Old 01-11-2003, 03:58 AM   #9
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    sorry to butt in here i was just wondering how you were katie? i missed chatting to you

    well i hope you are well



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    Old 01-16-2003, 11:04 AM   #10
    tinker300
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    hi, i was diagnosed at 16 with bpd, i am now 29 and not sure what i have, i've been diagnosed with depression and put on paxil about 3 years ago. i stayed on it for a week, then decided i didn't need it anymore becuase i wanted to go out and drink and then realized that i was no longer depressed, i kind of just snapped out of the depression. i do that from time to time, i can just snap out of whatever mood i am feeling that moment, i usually experience several different moods everyday, some moods mix together, like sadness and anger, or elation and anxiety, or just individually. anyhow, i don't know what is wrong with me or if anything is even wrong at all, what is being normal after all? i know that i feel strange like i am looking out into the world through a soul i don't even know, kinda strange, but as far as rage or anger goes, well i don't really get all that outraged, i get impatient and don't tolerate certain people/behaviours very well, i can only see things in extremes, like either black or white, no in between, so if someone is too smiley or too fake, then i can't even begin to try to relate, they seem really weird to me. i seem to be attracted to people who are "deep" people that are genuine and sincere. it's really weird. i don't do to well in intimate realionships, i am afraid to open up to someone, i usually get them to open up to me first, then i subconsciously start to back off, because they start to make to many emotional demands on me and expect more than i want to give, it gets to be very stifling for me, i can't stand too much closeness, it freaks me out. i do like people but only certain ones i can realate to and even those kinds i have to watch out for.

     
    Old 03-17-2003, 03:35 PM   #11
    onelittlehell
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    I was interested reading all your messages especially you crown because you sound a lot like me, i believe I may have e-mailed you in response to another board. I was referred last year to a therapy programme which I later discovered was for people with BPD - no one told me that was what it was for, I found it online hehe
    I see echoes of me in the descriptions of rage, throwing phones and other objects. The self harm. At the moment I don't really know where i am in terms of diagnosis (or anything else)- my Dr tells me the sum total of nothing. I'm hoping getting to know some people online will yeild a few answers.
    So that's me for now...
    Little

     
    Old 03-25-2003, 12:57 PM   #12
    Asenath
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    I am a 27 year old female who was diagnosed with BPD and major depression four years ago after a suicide attempt. Things got so bad I was institutionalized, and almost thrown into jail.

    I had a rough childhood, in which my father physically abused me and my mother was an alcoholic/drug addict. I was an excellent student and considered very attractive, but my interpersonal relationships were either destructive or non-existent. I went through 10 years of drug and alcohol abuse, along with periods of suicidal behavior (jumping out of moving cars, playing with firearms, etc.)

    I don't remember when BPD first appeared. I was always distrustful of others, felt abandoned, had issues with honesty and empathy, was generally cold unless high on drugs, and then I ran "hot." After the death of my boyfriend (suicide) and my expulsion from college, I became pretty much psychotic. I stayed awake for 72 hours, wandering the city until I tried to take my own life.

    Things are much better now, after therapy and some medication. I still feel "dead inside" at times.

     
    Old 03-25-2003, 04:23 PM   #13
    Luckycatt
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    Hi. I am 28. I was just diagnosed with BPD about 2 months ago. I have been misdiagnosed for years but now they think they have me correctly diagnosed with BPD - and I agree.

    I am currently trying to get over an addiction to my ex-boyfriend of ten years. Between dealing with those two things and also the physical problems of bulges in my back and a herniated disc in my neck, I am not handling stress of daily life too well. Let alone the annoyances of a newlywed husband who has no common sense. sigh. I feel like screaming part of the time, crying out of frustration, and just jumping of a bridge the rest of the time. For a woman on disability with apparantly "nothing to do" I feel like I have way to hectic of a life....

     
    Old 04-02-2003, 09:05 PM   #14
    Ling
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    Hi Everyone ... I just learned recently that my daughter (19 yrs old) has a BDP and her doctors recommend she take medication but she's refusing... this dual-diagnosis faciilty, which she's been at since 1/12/03, costs $8,000.00 per month, and thank god we have good insurance to help out... but our objective was to help her help herself... sometimes I wonder if she prefers to remain in this volatile state to use as an excuse when she has those infamous mood swings and withdraws into a seemingly suicidal mode... it's been a horrible rollercoaster for us and we're praying constantly that our daughter will WANT to take control of this condition and ultimately live a normal balanced life.

    sad and frustrated,
    ling

     
    Old 04-03-2003, 07:33 AM   #15
    Asenath
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    I would send your daughter to one of the following

    1. A psychologist who specializes in Adlarian Psychology, otherwise known as "individual psychology"
    Have her in psychotherapy at least once a week.
    2. A psychologst who specializes in Existential Psychotherapy. Again, psychotherapy at least weekly.

    Drugs rarely help people with BPD. It is a very complex disorder (I know because I have it). It requires intense psychotherapy which addresses the DEEP underlying issues of the disorder, not simply the symptoms or outward manifestations.

    Warning! If your daughter has been diagnosed with this disorder, she may have a hard time getting health insurance in the future. I would put her in inpatient treatment only as an absolute LAST resort. Pay out of pocket for psychotherapy, and keep your insurance company out of it. A person with BPD cannot get health insurance on their own.

     
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