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    Old 04-19-2004, 10:41 PM   #16
    Honeychild
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Hi There Everyone

    WOW! THANK YOU so much to ALL of you who responded. You are all so kind and helpful. I did not think any of your responses were unkind or uncalled for. Not at all. Sometimes when one is caught up in a situation like mine, it's hard to see the forest for the trees, if you know what I mean.

    An update:

    The next morning after our argument, I called him at work, with my tail between my legs, to apologize for my behaviour. He really must think he has a rather "batty wife" at home.

    So I apologized for my irrational behaviour, and all he could say was "don't worry about it, it's okay." And all he was worried about was me. Telling me to make sure to have something to eat before I go to work, as I didn't want to neglect myself. He is a very caring man. Even when he got home that night, he went out and got us takeaway food for dinner. He is so kind, how he doesn't hold grudges or resentments. He says "how could I stay mad at you"? He is sweet.

    Someone mentioned that i should surprise him, as he is kind enough to buy me presents and such. Well, I did surprise him in a rather intimate way, but that was BEFORE our argument.

    I have tosay after reading some of the responses, it makes me appreciate what I got. He is a very tolerant, patient man, maybe too patient to put up with the likes of me. Honestly, I wonder sometimes what I ever did to deserve someone like him. I have gone through some rough times in my life, especially with men. Had an extremely abusive father, and had trust issues with men. My husband is the exact opposite. I think that I was glad to havesomeone so opposite, because I had enough of that kind of suffering at the hands of men. There were other issues with men in my life too back then.

    Again, thank you all so much. I think I need to appreciate what i got, and make it better. Just got figure out how to get that spark back, or maybe I am expecting too much. I do think it's true that day-to-day living can become a bit routine.
    No, we don't have any children yet even though we been married almost 15 years, but next year looks like the year possibly.

     
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    Old 04-19-2004, 10:56 PM   #17
    Honeychild
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    I settled down at a very similar age to you. The problem is my love is that by settling down so young you've not lived life. You haven't done things according to your age and comparable with your peers. You forced yourself into an adult world at a time you may have looked adult, but mentally were still a child.

    You're basically looking for fault with him because you want to get out there and live a bit. Possibly date other guys, relive those 'heart stopping' moments again of the first time you kiss someone or have sex. Go out clubbing, get drunk, girlie nights, etc All very normal. Deep down you know he's good to you and that's why you aren't willing to take the chance of throwing him over in search of a more exciting life, as you would if you were merely dating.

    Whether you will get out of this frame of mind who knows. Many women try to but fail. The turning point is usually when the woman is mid 30s-40 and the kids have grown and they realize they are still young enough to start again, and are NOT willing to waste anymore years on a man who no longer ignites their flame.

    Your husband sounds kind but he's possibly boring to you. You no longer look forward to the sex part because he's probablymechanical and unimaginative. You want a man who now makes you feel 'alive'. I don't blame ya. Try and make it work, but quite honestly. I'd take that 'feeling' over any kindness or gift a man would buy me.

    Personally if I don't feel the "IT" factor, I'm gone. Because otherwise I'd just be married to a 'room-mate' if you get me
    Hi MadskillzGal

    I just had a quick question for you.

    Eventually most if not all relationships will settle into something less intense and full of "fire" like it was in the beginning. That is if ther is going to be any longevity to the relationship, then this is bound to happen, right? Or have you been in a long term relationship (I mean several years) where that first intensity and "in love" sparks/chemistry continued constantly.

    So if it does settle to something more "stable" in the relationshp, what does one do? Should one pick up, move on to the next man, and when that relationships' fire starts to dissipate, move on to another man?
    I don't know about that. It seems to be a doomed cycle, if one expects there to be constant intensity/passion like it was in the beginnng when two people are first together.
    Agree or not?

    anyone else want to share their thoughts on this please?

    Thanks

    Honeychild

     
    Old 04-19-2004, 11:22 PM   #18
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LittleLostSoul
    I've read some of your other posts, Honey, and I really do think you are at a very interesting point in your life. Please don't overreact when I say this or take it the wrong way, but I think you might benefit from speaking with a psychiatrist or therapist. I don't think you are crazy or anything like that, I just think that someone like that, unbiased and open ears, could help you sort some things out.

    I think you are like all people. I certainly don't think your situation is unusual. You seem to be searching for a deeper and true-er (that is not a word, I know) meaning and value in life. A lot of people roam about like this, and their jobs, *relationships*, health, etc. are affected.

    For me, it was not until I grew spiritually that things changed, and for the better. I'm still growing and still changing. I always will be.

    There is no quick and easy answer/solution for what you seem to be going through.
    It is a process, a part of life. And guess what...you've just got to live through it.

    Find someone who can help you out. Many hours of pondering, talking with friends, husband, yourself, etc. are ahead of you. I encourage you to spend time spiritually, perhaps seeking "the higher power that you believe in." (I'm trying to be politically correct here, hah). If you are not religious, I am biased in that I think all should be. You may disagree with me, but either way, I think that human conversation with someone like a psyhiatrist would help you out a lot.

    Good luck.
    Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out, LittleLostSoul

    Spirituality is VERY important to me, and i truly think that's where I am lacking somewhat. I think once that opens up for me, it will be easier to be happy and accepting of other aspects of my life. ACtually,I notice that when I start to accept myself more and be more tolerant towards myself, I can accept my husband more and others too, and their failings, and not be as harsh or as critical.
    Do you mind if I ask you what your "spiriituality" is in your life?

    Thanks

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 01:36 AM   #19
    MadSkillzGal
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Honeychild
    Hi MadskillzGal

    I just had a quick question for you.

    Eventually most if not all relationships will settle into something less intense and full of "fire" like it was in the beginning. That is if ther is going to be any longevity to the relationship, then this is bound to happen, right? Or have you been in a long term relationship (I mean several years) where that first intensity and "in love" sparks/chemistry continued constantly.

    So if it does settle to something more "stable" in the relationshp, what does one do? Should one pick up, move on to the next man, and when that relationships' fire starts to dissipate, move on to another man?
    I don't know about that. It seems to be a doomed cycle, if one expects there to be constant intensity/passion like it was in the beginnng when two people are first together.
    Agree or not?

    anyone else want to share their thoughts on this please?

    Thanks

    Honeychild

    Well to answer your question I'm 36 and spent almost 16 years with the same husband before conceding defeat. So I think I can qualify for the 'several years' status.

    For me, I just grew more and more discontented by the day. I got to a stage that I had never really recognized in myself before, I started really having sexually rampant thoughts and at first my husband thought it was great and then I found myself looking at our real differences. He wasn't imaginative in bed and I started to dread sex because it had been the same ole same ole each day, each year. Intellectually we were both on completely different planes too. He would buy little presents now and again but they lacked real thought and creativity - the usual crappy box of chocolates or flowers. To me it was meaningless because there was no effort in anything and towards the final few years if I dared to actually insinuate there were real problems then he would get very abusive and insulting.

    I dont actually know if I could settle down again. I LOVE and I mean LOVE being single. I get to get the best of men as and when I WANT it. I own my own house, I work, I mean I don't actually NEED a man as such.....well only sometimes

    Of course, I'm not even going to pretend I'm just a scorned woman with no heart. I like to give that aura sometimes, but for those who know me well, I'm a sucker at times myself. I'll quite happily admit I've fallen for the wrong men. And fallen hard.

    I don't want that level of STABILITY anymore....where we settle into cosydom. I don't want a partner who I will take for granted or vice versa. If I ever marry again it's GOT to be someone I'm crazy about in every way - they have to keep me stimulated mentally and physically and I expect to do the same. I'm not a teenager anymore, so what was important to me back then isn't important now...infact my requirements back then were downright silly so I don't expect to make the same mistakes.

    If I had to choose either settling down and having boring stability or not settling down and having the company of a few select men who constantly make the effort...I'll take the latter every time.

    To comment on your sentence about it seems a 'doomed cycle' I would argue that to stay within a lifeless marriage is about as doomed as you could ever get. It is only once you step outside that box you are able to fully appreciate all the endless possibilities available to you. We are taught the grass isn't always greener on the other side. In some cases that's true. However sometimes IT IS!!!!! A lot of women venture outside their marriage and NEVER go back....what does that tell you? The grass can be greener on the other side.

    I've never understood why women or men tolerate situations simply because of a marriage licence. They wouldn't tolerate it if dating. I mean how many boyfriends in the past have you ditched because they weren't loving enough or they bored you? Well agreed marriage isn't tantamount to dating in any respect, but I think someone somewhere has to draw the line and say ENOUGH so further years don't go down the drain. You have one life only....life it and be happy.

    Before people say that's not fair on the spouse I would argue....if I was married to someone and they thought I was crap in bed or they were bored with me, I'd want them to let me go so I could find someone who would appreciate me. I myself wouldn't want to be with someone who could only highlight my negatives.

    Last edited by MadSkillzGal; 04-20-2004 at 01:44 AM.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:02 AM   #20
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    Well to answer your question I'm 36 and spent almost 16 years with the same husband before conceding defeat. So I think I can qualify for the 'several years' status.

    For me, I just grew more and more discontented by the day. I got to a stage that I had never really recognized in myself before, I started really having sexually rampant thoughts and at first my husband thought it was great and then I found myself looking at our real differences. He wasn't imaginative in bed and I started to dread sex because it had been the same ole same ole each day, each year. Intellectually we were both on completely different planes too. He would buy little presents now and again but they lacked real thought and creativity - the usual crappy box of chocolates or flowers. To me it was meaningless because there was no effort in anything and towards the final few years if I dared to actually insinuate there were real problems then he would get very abusive and insulting.

    I dont actually know if I could settle down again. I LOVE and I mean LOVE being single. I get to get the best of men as and when I WANT it. I own my own house, I work, I mean I don't actually NEED a man as such.....well only sometimes

    Of course, I'm not even going to pretend I'm just a scorned woman with no heart. I like to give that aura sometimes, but for those who know me well, I'm a sucker at times myself. I'll quite happily admit I've fallen for the wrong men. And fallen hard.

    I don't want that level of STABILITY anymore....where we settle into cosydom. I don't want a partner who I will take for granted or vice versa. If I ever marry again it's GOT to be someone I'm crazy about in every way - they have to keep me stimulated mentally and physically and I expect to do the same. I'm not a teenager anymore, so what was important to me back then isn't important now...infact my requirements back then were downright silly so I don't expect to make the same mistakes.

    If I had to choose either settling down and having boring stability or not settling down and having the company of a few select men who constantly make the effort...I'll take the latter every time.

    To comment on your sentence about it seems a 'doomed cycle' I would argue that to stay within a lifeless marriage is about as doomed as you could ever get. It is only once you step outside that box you are able to fully appreciate all the endless possibilities available to you. We are taught the grass isn't always greener on the other side. In some cases that's true. However sometimes IT IS!!!!! A lot of women venture outside their marriage and NEVER go back....what does that tell you? The grass can be greener on the other side.

    I've never understood why women or men tolerate situations simply because of a marriage licence. They wouldn't tolerate it if dating. I mean how many boyfriends in the past have you ditched because they weren't loving enough or they bored you? Well agreed marriage isn't tantamount to dating in any respect, but I think someone somewhere has to draw the line and say ENOUGH so further years don't go down the drain. You have one life only....life it and be happy.

    Before people say that's not fair on the spouse I would argue....if I was married to someone and they thought I was crap in bed or they were bored with me, I'd want them to let me go so I could find someone who would appreciate me. I myself wouldn't want to be with someone who could only highlight my negatives.
    Hi MadSkillzGal

    Hmm, well, that's given me a lot of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, because some of it resonated within me, I guess. I normally like to refute or debate these kinds of points, but I can't think of much to refute here.

    Except this. You say that you rather be witha select few. What happens when that "select few" become "boring" to you. do you ditch them soon after for another, and another and another? Sometimes it sounds a bit like an adrenaline/excitement "junkie" almost.

    What happens when you get older in life, and no longer "attracting" men you want, or if your looks change with age and men are no longer attracted to you, and want a young thing? Will you end up having to live on your own indefinitely when you get older? I have a friend who just recently split up with her defacto, her choice. Now sshe said to me one night before leaving for her home,"oh well, I guess I will go home now with nothing more to do than look at the four walls tonight". I found that sad.
    Seems there are more people who regret leaving their life partner for the "greener grass", than those that are "happier" about divorcing. Thats been my experience of others who have chosen to leave because of monotony/boredom.
    I think when people make these tough choices in life, they need to remember that these are decisions that will affect their future long term, and they will have to live with the consequences of sszuch and the "grass not always being greener".

    I think for me, when it comes down to it, would I feel better with my husband out of my life? NO. No way.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:12 AM   #21
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Honeychild
    Hi MadSkillzGal

    Hmm, well, that's given me a lot of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, because some of it resonated within me, I guess. I normally like to refute or debate these kinds of points, but I can't think of much to refute here.

    Except this. You say that you rather be witha select few. What happens when that "select few" become "boring" to you. do you ditch them soon after for another, and another and another? Sometimes it sounds a bit like an adrenaline/excitement "junkie" almost.

    What happens when you get older in life, and no longer "attracting" men you want, or if your looks change with age and men are no longer attracted to you, and want a young thing? Will you end up having to live on your own indefinitely when you get older? I have a friend who just recently split up with her defacto, her choice. Now sshe said to me one night before leaving for her home,"oh well, I guess I will go home now with nothing more to do than look at the four walls tonight". I found that sad.
    Seems there are more people who regret leaving their life partner for the "greener grass", than those that are "happier" about divorcing. Thats been my experience of others who have chosen to leave because of monotony/boredom.
    I think when people make these tough choices in life, they need to remember that these are decisions that will affect their future long term, and they will have to live with the consequences of sszuch and the "grass not always being greener".

    I think for me, when it comes down to it, would I feel better with my husband out of my life? NO. No way.

    And that's your personal choice and no one, especially me, is going to even begin to build an argument against that.

    You put it to me about a select few. Having a variety of friends is not the same as living day in and out with the same man. You know that yourself. If ever I find someone boring or it's not doing it for me anymore, then it's time to say bye bye...I'm not married to 'em!

    Ok so, I'll age and I won't be able to compete with 20 year olds. HELLLLLLLLLLO I'm 36, I can't compete with them NOW! So what the hell! But I'm not trying to constantly compete with or attract 20 year olds. As I get older, the guys I look to be with will age with me! If I get that haggard, I'll remortgage the house and have head to foot plastic surgery. Who cares! Life is too short.

    Those who regret leaving a marriage are those who left on a whim, a wing and a prayer. Those who left with valid reason never look back. That's the difference and it is for THOSE women, that the grass IS truly greener.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:17 AM   #22
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Honeychild
    Seems there are more people who regret leaving their life partner for the "greener grass", than those that are "happier" about divorcing. Thats been my experience of others who have chosen to leave because of monotony/boredom..
    This underscores one of my problems with anecdotal information and opinions. What you just said, as your particular experience, is the opposite of what MSG has indicated is her experience. Each one saying, "seems like more people do the following", but the following is something that is opposite of what the other says most people do.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way discounting your view or your point. Simply that, for those that get tired of reading empirical, substantiated data that has validity and can be backed up, the alternative is having two people offer as the norm, two diametrically opposed observations.

    Honeychild sees that most people regret leaving their life partner (which, for what its worth, is what most studies support) and you have MSG that opines she finds most people move on to happier relationships. It can't be both ways. What one "observes" may be completely meaningless in the face of what the reality is for most people.

    Just some slightly off topic thoughts.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:24 AM   #23
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Re-read my final paragraph in my last post. I'm saying that the only people who regret doing things are those without valid reason. Those who have been pushed to the limit don't feel that way and are glad for the release.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:34 AM   #24
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    Those who regret leaving a marriage are those who left on a whim, a wing and a prayer. Those who left with valid reason never look back.
    Studies support that many men and women that struggle long and hard before divorcing still express regret after divorce. Leaving for a valid reason still leaves the great possibility that other equally valid reasons exist for staying. This is what the conundrum is for many that divorce. Several well though out and considered reasons for leaving, and other valid reasons for having stayed. It can be a crap shoot and, in the end, what seemed like a very valid reason for leaving could come to seem less so when compared to the life that came to be after the divorce.

    Obviously, there are many that divorce and live happily ever after as such. However, it cannot be supported that those who left with valid reason never look back.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:41 AM   #25
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    No one regrets leaving an abusive marriage or one where there is no love involved. What you actually regret is that you either made the mistake of marrying that person in the first place, or you actually regret the fact that you went into that marriage with such ideals and sadly it didn't end up the way you planned.

    If anything with women, I'd say if they DID regret anything out of leaving a crap marriage it would be this:-

    1. His wage packet and financial contributions to the bills.
    2. The fact that you could leave the kids with him now and again and now you have SOLE responsibility.
    3. Someone to talk to and eat dinner with every night.

    I felt that for a while too.

    Now I'm like:

    1. Ok, I coped and thanks to you being such a tight arse with money it forced me to start my own business and now I don't need your bloody money!
    2. You were always miserable with me and the kids anyway and now we don't have you telling us what to do and we're quite happy for it to be 'just us'.
    3. I'll eat out...who wants to join me!

    I have no regrets and why? Not because I'm such a cocky sob, ok I am, but that aside, because I WAS SURE. I had years to suffer and years to contemplate and predict and think about it. I didn't run out one weekend and think YEAHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM. It was a culmination of events over several years.

    Last edited by MadSkillzGal; 04-20-2004 at 06:42 AM.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:49 AM   #26
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    No one regrets leaving an abusive marriage or one where there is no love involved.
    These are certainly very valid reasons for divorce. Of course, there are dozens of other less perilous reasons, which are valid nonetheless. Many people divorce after careful consideration, for valid reasons. Some come to see these reasons as less important down the road and find it is too late to undo what has been done. This is the regret for some, even though they had valid reasons to start with.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:52 AM   #27
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    No one regrets leaving an abusive marriage or one where there is no love involved. What you actually regret is that you either made the mistake of marrying that person in the first place, or you actually regret the fact that you went into that marriage with such ideals and sadly it didn't end up the way you planned.

    If anything with women, I'd say if they DID regret anything out of leaving a crap marriage it would be this:-

    1. His wage packet and financial contributions to the bills.
    2. The fact that you could leave the kids with him now and again and now you have SOLE responsibility.
    3. Someone to talk to and eat dinner with every night.

    I felt that for a while too.

    Now I'm like:

    1. Ok, I coped and thanks to you being such a tight arse with money it forced me to start my own business and now I don't need your bloody money!
    2. You were always miserable with me and the kids anyway and now we don't have you telling us what to do and we're quite happy for it to be 'just us'.
    3. I'll eat out...who wants to join me!

    I have no regrets and why? Not because I'm such a cocky sob, ok I am, but that aside, because I WAS SURE. I had years to suffer and years to contemplate and predict and think about it. I didn't run out one weekend and think YEAHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM. It was a culmination of events over several years.
    Yeah, makes sense, MSG.

    I guess I don't want to leave the "Nest" and life we have built on a whim. He is not a tight a$$ with money. Actually the opposite. He told me that anytime I want to leave work, and just do my own thing, He will support me in that. When he saw how stressed out at work I was getting, he encouraged me to leave work altogether, or work part time if that's what I wanted. He is very kind hearted in that way.

    But the fire is dim, right now. ;-) It use to be SO hot. Especially in the beginning. It kind of waxes and wanes with us. Sometimes things are really great between us, and sometimes it's just humdrum. I have grown and changed so much with him, and expect to grow and change even more. I am only 33 years old. But we have stood the test of time together, and weathered extremely hard times together, and extremely good times together. I know I could live on my own if worse came to worse. Hey in life, you got to be prepared! You don't know what's round the corner. I have made peace with that in my heart, that if it should ever come to that, I WILL BE OK. There are much worse things that can happen in life , I guess, but that would be up there on the "emotional richter scale" for sure of bad things taht ccould happen.

    I guess he adds/improves my life on many fronts. There are more positives than there are negatives.
    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. I love this board! There are so many less personal attacks here than on other ones.
    You guys are all so great~!
    P.S. have a white wine for me, MSG! (I don't drink)

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:52 AM   #28
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    I totally agree but those who usually divorce without valid reasoning are usually those who have married without valid reasoning too.

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 06:56 AM   #29
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MadSkillzGal
    I totally agree but those who usually divorce without valid reasoning are usually those who have married without valid reasoning too.
    I guess it's subjective what is "valid reasoning".

     
    Old 04-20-2004, 07:02 AM   #30
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    Re: Please Help Me Save My Marriage

    Here is another story to back up both Honeychild & Madskillzgal two different views as I see both your sides and agree with both of you.

    I have had the pleasure of seeing both sides of the green grass.

    I was married for 5 years to know that there was a grass greener. My ex was a good husband but bored the crap out of me. He did not abuse me, he was a sweet guy and still is.
    BUT, when we got married he changed, people say you should see the person for who they are before marrying them. Well, for me I did see a wonderful guy, he was always there For ME, I was a spoiled girl by him, I did know wrong by him, but when we married that full of life guy disappeard and became a boring couch patotoe. When I asked him to do things he would snap at me to stop changing him. I had to make all the social plans, if I wanted to try different things in life (as he did before we were married) he didn't want to join me. He did not stop me from being me but I felt he was stopping US from being a couple. I was also young and somehow smart enough to know I was bored, he wasn't going to change, but I was changing. OH, I had also known him for 3yrs before even dating him, dated him for another 3 years and married him for 5 years. Divorced at 28 with a child.

    That was 14 yrs ago. In those 14 yrs...I dated alot, dated some young hot guys, some older guys, and had some serious relationships. Some ended bad,some just ended because they did nothing for me, and some ended because I did nothing for them. I don't have any regrets except to say I did things my way. I had alone time, boring times, great times, sad times, and even scary times. I had doubts that I would never meet someone for me.
    I came to accept my life as a single mother / a choice I decided to make for myself. NO more losers for me, I'll settle to be by myself on my terms.
    That GRASS did become Greener for me.

    My bestfriend, has been married for 20 years. I have watched her make all the effort into her marriage. Her husband doesn't put any effort into their marriage. She has not intentions of divorcing him, she will stay in her marriage and work on it all by herself. SHE knows the grass isn't greener on the other side, thanks to watching my life and always being there for me.
    I love her for not judging me with decisions that I have made in my life and she loves me for not judging her for her decisions that she has made.

    Being divorced and single I get to see both sides of the grass, I get to see wonderful marriages last, the efforts that make a marriage work. and I get to see single woman who want those marriages and can learn from the married couples. Married couples can see/view what single life is like through divorced singles and know that or make a choice if they want that for themselves. There is a happy medium to both sides to this.

    Don't judge a single divorced happy woman for her choices. If she is happy that is all that matters regardless on how many partners she chooses or says she wants. She is entilted because she is SINGLE not married.
    And single divorced woman or man should not judge why husbands & wifes stay in marriages they choose to make it work because that is what they do want and are commited to making it work.

    We have choices. We can have the grass green on both sides.
    We, ALL want to be happy and fullfilled in life. If marriage makes that happen for you great!
    For the ones that want to be single YES, you can still be happy and fullfilled in life...To me, the grass is always green on either side because I have had the pleasure of seeing both sides. I admire those marriages who have weathered the storm to keep the sparks flaming and working together to honor their vows of commitment. It takes two to make a marriage work.
    For being single, I too admire men and woman who are at peace with themselves because this takes only one person to achieve and that is yourself.


     
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