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My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned?


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Old 05-17-2018, 12:01 AM   #1
MarZyyB123
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My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned?

So basically I've been with this girl for around 7 months, and everything apart from this issue is going well. My girlfriend does have quite a few guy friends, which I don't have a problem with, you know if you wanna be friends with the opposite sex, so what? But I mean, she play fights with one of them quite a lot, and they playfully insult each other a lot. Another guy friend wanted to try and get with her when I first started talking to her, but now they're 'friends'. And I just don't know if what I'm feeling is really stupid as it makes me feel jealous, because she does it right in front of me and it shocks me. Because if I had some girl friends, I wouldn't sit there and play fight in front of my girlfriend, I wouldn't play fight them period. I just need some advice on how to deal with this, because I've brought it up to her before, but she just gets really mad at me and says "do you not trust me?" and it gets no where.

 
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:04 AM   #2
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

Dear MarZ,

You are not stupid or wrong.

She doesn't appear to be mature enough for a one on one relationship. To me, wanting to be buddies with every guy is a kindergarten attitude. In my opinion she isn't really a girlfriend to you. Getting angry about your concerns shows she doesn't care. It very well could be that the one she plays with the most is who she really prefers but she can't get his attention that way...this is pre-school stuff. You don't need that.

Don't get mad or jealous. That just plays into where she is at. I suggest that you turn off, and distance yourself, stop calling, stop asking her for her time, stop being so involved with her. Don't be mean or rude, just busy yourself with other interests. You are young. Think about your future and develop some goals that can get you where you want to be.

This situation is not worth it. Don't announce anything, just stop calling and busy yourself elsewhere...she may pop up in your life again. Just be nice, but say no, that you are busy. I so wish someone would have told me these things back when I was going through it. You deserve a girlfriend that is interested in you, not the whole gang.
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Last edited by YaYagirl; 05-17-2018 at 10:07 AM.

 
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:01 AM   #3
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

It sounds to me like this might be your problem. You admit that you are jealous...jealousy can and will kill a relationship.

This is up to you...can you handle your girl being friends with males and playing around? Is it physical "play fighting" or just verbal? If it is only verbal, what line has she crossed? If my husband told me I couldnt have male friends, we would have a problem. He has female friends and he talks to them and jokes around with them...

Now, if your gf is actually touching the guys- and you have asked her not to be physical with them and she doesn't listen, then its a matter of her not respecting you. Either way, one of you OR both of you do not sound mature enough to be in a relationship....dont be jealous..at the end of the day, who is she with? Do you have any reason to think its more than friendship with these guys? Unless she gives you a reason to think so- this is all on you. Lose the jealousy and appreciate that she picked you.
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Old 05-19-2018, 05:51 AM   #4
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

Yeah I mean you're right, I shouldn't be feeling jealous. But no matter how hard I try I can't help but feel it. The play fighting is physical and verbal, her guy friend like picks her up, headlocks her and just other stuff that's just like a playful fight. I probably am too immature for a relationship by getting jealous at that, but I want to be able to stop feeling that way. I really appreciate your response and thank you!

 
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Old 05-19-2018, 05:53 AM   #5
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

Yeah I see what you're saying, but it'll be so hard for me to switch off from her. But it doesn't mean it's not worth a try, and if she really does respect what I want, if I tell her to stop, so she should. I just wouldn't ever physically playfight with girls that I'm friendly with, but I dunno haha. Thank you so much for your response though, it's very appreciated!

 
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Old 05-20-2018, 05:23 AM   #6
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

It seems to me that they both are mildly disrespecting you. I might be old fashioned but they should respect you and her enough to keep their hands off her, if she is your girlfriend. Just my opinion.

 
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Old 05-20-2018, 05:58 AM   #7
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Re: My girlfriend play fights and jokes around with other boys, should I be concerned

I agree with you, MarZyy. When you ask her to stop fooling around with play fighting she should respect your wishes and have the self-control to settle down. That is immature behavior, like kindergarten stuff, IMO. It is not like you asked her to have no male friends.

We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. Think about whether you are really into this person or you just want to have a girl-friend. You can't change who she is. Either you like her the way she is or you don't.

You don't have to 'switch off'. You have to make a decision whether you like her the way she is or not. You are the only one you can change.
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Last edited by YaYagirl; 05-20-2018 at 05:58 AM.

 
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