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How to get mom to workout and eat better?


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Old 06-14-2018, 09:46 PM   #1
dalmatianmama2
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How to get mom to workout and eat better?

Hi everyone,

I really need help with this issue. My mom is 54, overweight, has high blood pressure, and is a type 2 diabetic. I cannot, for the life of me, get her to eat better or exercise. And guess what? I'm a registered dietitian AND a fitness instructor and have tried every trick in my book.
Her dad passed away over a year ago. He had spinal and other mobility problems, uncontrolled type 2 diabetes, various cancers, high blood pressure...you name it. And I'm deathly afraid she's going to take after him.
We live in a really hot area so she says its too hot to go outside so she either watches TV or goes on the computer. She's been a stay at home mom for over 20 years and she constantly puts the house chores before anything else, regardless of how much I or other family members help out. She'll go to the grocery store or run another errand and come home too tired to do anything else. She has more than enough time to exercise but it's constant excuses.
She also thinks she eats really healthy but doesn't. Even though I have tried to help her buy healthy food, she still refuses to give up candy or other junk. She gets extremely defensive when I simply remind her that there are better choices out there etc and she says "well I rarely eat ___" even though she just rotates on junk food. Like sure you don't eat m&m's every day but you've been having ice cream after dinner each night so we really don't need to eat those. Her doctor who diagnosed her with DM absolutely sucks and told her nothing (I mean NOTHING. Literally wrote a prescription for metformin and that's it. She doesn't even consider herself diabetic even though she is) and she won't change doctors. But then she gets mad at me for not helping her when she goes to the doctor and her sugar still isn't great. I've tried to get my dad to say something and he knows I'm right but he won't say anything because it makes her mad. I am seriously at my wits end. I have tried everything and am getting desperate because I'm so afraid of what could happen it keeps me up at night. Please help.

 
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Old 06-14-2018, 10:09 PM   #2
YaYagirl
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Re: How to get mom to workout and eat better?

Dear dalmatianmama2,

You're the daughter and she is your mother.
That isn't reversed because she temporarily asks for help. I say temporarily, because you know she doesn't want to change.

It seems like time for you to be realistic and when she asks for help, tell her in a sweet way, 'mama, I have given suggestions and you won't change your habits, so you just have to help yourself'. Then walk away, and busy yourself elsewhere, in a kind way. You could change the subject every time she brings the subject up. If she presses, just tell her you don't have any way to help her. Because you really don't. She/we have to help ourselves.

For one thing she is addicted to fat and sugar and is in a self-gratifying habit. When tired it's normal to crave a quick pick me up, and sugar/carbs do the trick. Of course then there is the downer plus the health issues.

There may be marital issues that she is eating to dull the unhappiness, too. There is no way to know her true motivation. She doesn't obey the doctors so it follows that she won't obey you. It isn't your fault or your responsibility to make her follow your instructions.
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~ YaYa ~

Last edited by YaYagirl; 06-15-2018 at 04:40 AM.

 
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