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    Old 10-01-2018, 09:44 AM   #1
    Btsarmy's Avatar
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    Help everything is wrong with me

    Since childhood I was very shy coz my elders always did things for me but after my mom left me to do a job n I had a younger brother whom now she paid all her attention I was always alone
    No one befriended me at school Coz I was very shy
    BUT NOW THE PROBLEM IS 100 TIMES worse since I have a very messy family, on top of that I am shy ..I can't open up anywhere
    M scared of everyone around me outside
    Also since I developed this crush in school on a guy n then I started to pay attention to my looks n everything is wrong with me
    NO I DONT JUDGE PEOPLE FROM THEIR FACE VALUE but I have this uncomfortable feeling ALL THE TIME
    I ruin my exams ...I prepare 70 percent but I don't even right half of it I space out doing stuff
    Recently I had problem with my college degree n I could not go to the office n ask them ..I just stood outside pitying myself, mustering courage but it was all vain
    Then finally I searched fr a familiar person n sent them instead
    I don't know what to do
    N to the parents ...please pay attention to your children I a gentle way or they will be ruined like me

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    Old 10-02-2018, 03:51 AM   #2
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    Re: Help everything is wrong with me

    It sounds like you need some counseling. You are admitting what you feel is wrong, which is a HUGE step in the right direction, but you are not ruined, you just need to learn how to cope with this and fix it. It is fixable.

    You need to talk to your doctor or parent about getting some help. Counseling, a safe place to talk to a professional to learn how to help yourself will do wonders for you. It may have started out your families fault, but if you do nothing about it, you can only blame yourself. You are an adult now and you need to take charge of yourself. No one is going to fix this for you.

    Open up to someone you trust OR make an appointment with a doctor to discuss this. This is psychological...and it can be fixed. Good luck.
    RRMS- dx 05

    Old 10-02-2018, 08:51 AM   #3
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    Re: Help everything is wrong with me

    Dear Btsarmy,

    Hon, you are definitely not at all ruined. A mental block like what you have is just a mental block. All of us have to face our own fears and deficiencies. All of us. All this is is that you can't read our minds. You just don't know all of our own fears and childhoods. If you can keep it in mind that you don't know what others face or struggle with and we all struggle with something, that will help you relax and just go take care of your own business. You are a pretty bold person to discuss your fears, as most people don't even admit they are afraid. Most pretend they have no fear.

    It is obvious to me that you are a very bright and courageous person.

    As a child and through my teens and early twenties I, too, was afraid to speak up and take responsibility for myself. No one ever taught me to do that. No one taught my mother, either. Parents can't think of what they did not get from their own parents. But you have a very bright brain. I know because you communicate very well. You just need to start telling yourself the truth. So what if your parents didn't think to tell you how smart and brave you are? That doesn't mean you are not smart and brave. Probably no one told your parents they were smart or capable.

    This is a typical and normal part of growing up that each child has to face and go through. It is part of growing up. This is now your time to bloom and grow into the person YOU choose to be.

    Sometimes they are, but parents often are not the ones to teach us to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves. Usually they just stop treating us like a child and we have to figure out for ourselves who we want to be, so you are not alone in this. Some parents even stand in the way of a child trying to grow up, but you were given the freedom to make your own choices. You can find your own way in life.

    It can be strange or difficult at first to fully understand that to become adults we are responsible to make our own choices about who to become. It's easy to dwell on what happened to us and feel stuck and discouraged. That confused me as well as I did not have a positive beginning either. No one ever had told me 'you can do this!' so of course when that doesn't happen as a child it can leave us feeling helpless as though we cannot change our own minds and make our own choices. But, that is simply NOT TRUE. You not only CAN make these choices, it is OUR JOB to make our own choices about what kind of person to be. And there are loads of books and articles and counselors to help you along in your growing up experience. This is the NORMAL process of growing up.

    It's obvious to me that you are a very bright person and can make your own choices of what to do with your life. At some point as you already found out, we have no choice but to take care of our own selves and make our own choices, since parents get jobs, or leave, and even if they stay home, they don't live forever.

    You can do this hon.
    Make an appointment with your school counselor and ask if there is a way to get some free counseling to help you deal with your shyness.

    Any guy that is worth your time will like you just the way you are. A crush only means we like the way someone looks. We don't really know people based on looks.

    We all have anxieties about some things, and they are ours to deal with. Yes, you can get counseling. You can do internet searches and read about how to get over your social anxieties. It is work you alone can do for yourself. It's that way for ALL of us, hon. Believe me, that guy you got a crush on has his own insecurities.

    It really helped me so much to understand that everyone has fears to overcome. Even the brightest and smartest of us. So you are in good company.

    ~ YaYa ~

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