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shane21 11-06-2006 07:52 PM

Can anybody recommend any self-help books or strategies for people who are extremely shy?

jimmyhonda 11-07-2006 03:30 AM

Re: shyness
There's this saying that goes, "Feel the fear, but do it anyway". That's really true. you need to confront your fears if you want a happy life. After all, the fittest species survive in this world, like what Darwin's theory goes.

could u give me examples of your shyness?

Sannah 11-07-2006 12:22 PM

Re: shyness
Jimmy, you sound like you are finding your way very well! Congrats, and you are right about confronting your fears.

Shane, I used to be shy and not because it was genetic or how I was supposed to be. I think it was because I didn't have good social skills and I didn't feel good about myself. I improved my social skills and realized and corrected what I didn't feel good about and now I am fine.

Oh yeah, and I think that not having good boundaries contibuted to it also, because if you cannot protect yourself well with others it causes you to withdraw.

jimmyhonda 11-08-2006 02:36 AM

Re: shyness
Sannah - actually i am still working on betting my depression, it's not easy. I get ups and downs some days.

shane21 - I recently read this excellent book - can't remember what it's called, but this author said sometime about depression is related to having "negative thoughts".
In other words, [B]depression = thoughts[/B]. If we could understand that it is our thoughts that makes us depress and not our circumstances that make us depress.

I give u an example of mine's: All those years at school, I never been to a swimmimg centre because i was skinny. People teased my body in the past and so never been swimming. as a result, I never learnt to swim, and my body is still skinny than ever. ([B]Negative thoughts / Outcomes[/B])

when I turned 27, I was diagnoised with osteo-arthritis. I wasn't able to walk for about a year. Within that year, I was in complete shock and depressed. Also, within that year, it made me realised that I didn't have any fun memories in my life. all those years I spent feeling sorry for myself and not enjoying a life that was given to me. I told myself if i ever have a second chance in life i would dothings differently.

I was really worried that I would stay like this forever, unable to walk. But thankfully, I can walk again without having an operation. I am starting to incorporate some activities into my life such as swimming and doing push ups every morning, and eating more protein food - hopefully to have a muscular body.

I'm starting to understand what the saying means by, "live your life as if it was your last" ..or whatever...

galinaqt 11-08-2006 02:52 PM

Re: shyness
toastmasters is really good for that.

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