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Overcoming shyness what a curse

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Old 06-19-2007, 12:59 PM   #1
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Overcoming shyness what a curse

Wondering if there is anyone out there who is painfully shy and has gotten over it and is confident now, and has left that shyness or broken out of the shyness bubble and broken free from it
Suffering from so much because of shyness.
dylan 26 male


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Old 06-25-2007, 04:07 AM   #2
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

I am a 40 year old woman who suffered from shyness for many years. I've eventually grown out of it, I can talk to anybody and have a lot of friends. I'm still an insecure person and suffer from anxiety and depression. I think what helped me is getting a job when I was 20 as a cashier and being forced to talk to people. I have a 21 year old son who unfortunately suffers from anxiety and shyness too. He has a job on a golf course, but he never leaves the house other than for work. I don't know how to help him and I worry about him being lonely for the rest of his life. He is on zoloft, but I have noticed no change. So bless your heart, I feel for you and wish I had an answer.

Old 06-25-2007, 05:38 AM   #3
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

I'm a 39 yr old female who still struggles with shyness........I HATE meeting new people. I did get better on my first job...I HAD to interact with strangers on a daily basis.

I'm one who is very shy until I get to know you, then I don't shut up!!! I guess I'm an extremeist lol Both of my parents were VERY out going...and they use to "force" me into being out going too.......that was the worst idea, I became even more shy and withdrawn.

I have 3 kids, my two oldest are shy........the youngest is sooo out going.

You may never get over it, but sometimes you can work on it and it gets better. I'm not near as shy as I once was. So there is hope

Old 06-25-2007, 09:48 AM   #4
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ht0626 HB User
Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

I have dealt with this for much of my life and it is very hard to deal with as it is almost impossible to make friends- I think the best way and easiest is to make sure you always smile at people this way they know you are approachable without actually having to speak which can be dreadful
It is usually easier if someone starts the conversation and this will more likely happen if you wear a smile. I also recommend that you stay around people as much as possible the more you are around people the less awkward and scared you will be. I also try not to think so much- "what will this person think, do I look okay? etc.. usually if you just keep your mind calm you will realize people are really not that focused on you as you may think and not only that but they are probably worried about those same things too they just hide it better! Hope this helps let me know!

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Old 06-25-2007, 10:04 AM   #5
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

I actually got into the entertainment industry (clowns, facepainters,etc...), and it was soooo uncomfortable for me at first but when I am in clown make-up I can be whoever I want to (its weird). My clown character has an outgoing fun personality but the real me is painfully shy and introverted....

Old 06-25-2007, 10:20 AM   #6
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

Yes I have overcome shyness by 95% if not more and sometimes I never shut up. I use to be painfully shy growing up and would not say a word to any stranger. Now I'm the complete opposite. I will talk to anyone and am usually the one striking up the conversations. Now I would never say I'm the life of the party, but definitely not the wall flower neither.

I remember just praying every day to overcome this shyness because I hated being shy and with time, I over came it. Just try to think before you speak which helps... that way you are not saying something that is going to draw unusal attention to yourself. Being confident about yourself helps a lot.
When you think positive about yourself that gives you the confidence to be yourself in most situations. It takes time, but you can do it!

How do you feel about yourself! Are you a confident person? Insecure at times? Tell us more about yourself and perhaps we can coach you along. I have much faith that you will overcome this painful shyness of yours.

Good luck!

Old 02-24-2011, 09:23 AM   #7
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

Originally Posted by dylankaya4444 View Post
Wondering if there is anyone out there who is painfully shy and has gotten over it and is confident now, and has left that shyness or broken out of the shyness bubble and broken free from it
Suffering from so much because of shyness.
dylan 26 male

People usually dont get over being shy. IT is basically a personality type and that does not change. You can change the way you are perceived but you will always have a shy feeling in certain situations. Some people are shy meeting new people, some are shy giving speeches, some are shy doing things they do not know how to do, some people are shy when others watch them do things they dont know how to do. IT is all insecuirty, you can lessen this by proving to yourself that you can do thing , you can accomplish things you thought you couldn't.

The first thing on this path is to start projects that are valuable to you and that you want to accomplsh. College , career, relationships etc.

Once you meet thoes goals you will feel much better about yourself and some of your insecuirties may go away and make you less shy.

The second and hardest thing is to TAKE RISKS. once you overcome your fears you will be a lot less insecure and feel that you have no weaknesses and that you are a worthy person.


Old 12-18-2011, 11:30 PM   #8
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

The best thing about shyness is that you can overcome it. The thing about shy people is that most of them, would rather avoid it then try to over come it.

Look up some self help books on how to be more out going and how to start conversations with people. Shy people usually feel like they dont have a lot to say.. they think about it too much and then the conversation moves on to another topic. When you have done this and when you feel like you have some theory under your belt, its time to make goals.

Pick a social event and decide to go to it with a purpose. Look around, there is always another shy person, make it your goal to get them to open up by being the one to approach them. (Shy people always prefer being approached then doing the approaching). Get use to approaching. The more you do it the more you will feel stronger. As in " Im not really THAT shy, look what I Just did. If i can do this, I can do more!" and go from there.

'The truth is, EVERYONE IS SHY, because EVERYONE is afraid what other people think. Some people just hide it better, they convince themselves what they want to believe and just go with it.

Some other tips which help:
Plan what you can talk about (topics you can bring up)
Arrive earlier then everyone else (nothing more scary then walking into a room full of people and you only know 1). and play the hostess (everyone else will be coming in after you, feeling more anxious then you.
Start reading about different topics so you can talk about more things, easily

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Old 04-14-2012, 10:52 PM   #9
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Re: Overcoming shyness what a curse

Yah I used to be that super shy guy in my high school class. I was even shy all the way through my college years. It was probably my job helped me where I had to talk to many people. Also I developed the attitude that I just don't care what people think anymore. I don't mean I'm insensitive, its just that I don't take it personally if someone wants to hate me. That is their problem. So although I'm not paralyzed with fear anymore, I never really developed good social skills and I still tend to be on the quiet side.

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