I have no idea what to call this?

Savvay

For about 2-3 months, I’ve been having a combination of disturbing sleep-related experiences. I’m prescribed Xanax and Klonopin for anxiety, and whenever I take them or any sleep aid/cold medicine, it guarantees an episode. However, I have them sometimes whether or not I take these prior to it. If I take Gabapentin/Neurontin, no problems whatsoever. I’m not able to get a refill at the moment for various reasons so I won’t have access to that for a while. Lately, for the past week or so, it’s been every single time I sleep and the experiences seem to be worsening with every night’s sleep or nap I take. I can’t tell you what’s really happening, because I don’t exactly know. It’s very, very difficult for me to distinguish between reality and dreams at this point and I’ll explain why.
Alright, first, I’m tired in my sleep. This is progressing rapidly. It began with a mild awareness of “wow I feel a little tired” a few months ago in one dream, but it didn’t really affect me. Now, it’s so extreme that I cannot continue the dream. I feel so exhausted, drained, fatigued, and weak that in my dreams I’m collapsing and blacking out and “falling asleep”, etc. My dreams are severely interrupted with this feeling, and I have trouble moving. Everything gets extremely sluggish and slow and dark and difficult.
Next, and most disturbing, I have false awakenings. But I’m not sure if they’re false. The reason is, when I “wake up” each time, I’m pretty sure I actually am coming to consciousness normally but in a way, my dream-state continues and I’m so extremely tired that I drift off before I can register anything and determine if it’s reality or not. I have these awakenings over and over, and some nights it must be 20-30 times in a row. Sometimes it’s just once or twice. The difference, though, is that it’s not just waking up out of nowhere in the middle of my dreams into another “false awakening”. It’s a cycle of waking up, starting to feel like I can’t stand or move or see and that I need to lie down, finding myself in bed or getting in bed, letting my urge to sleep take over, then waking up again and thinking “oh I’m awake and I wasn’t before” followed by another episode where it’s like “oh god another one of these false awakening dreams”. The thing is, I’ve had them in the past. These are so horribly different because I’m never sure of whether or not I’m awake, even after I DO wake up. Sometimes it takes me hours to accept that I’m awake, and I still never physically feel like I am anymore.
Which leads me to the next thing. You know that mechanism that keeps you from actually wetting the bed in your sleep? I have it, and it’s overdoing itself. I get up to actually pee, but since I still in a way feel like I’m dreaming physically (like my actual body just feels WRONG) it’s more difficult and it’s just feels like an error in my brain where it’s like “NO STOP YOU’RE DREAMING DON’T PEE” and it’s really annoying. But like I don’t want to start ignoring it because then I might actually start wetting the bed. I’d rather be in doubt when I AM awake than wet the bed, so.
I never leave my room in my dreams anymore. I’m just in bed, perfectly aware of where I am in bed, and I’m just dreaming that I’m in bed and really tired. Like, I don’t know if this makes sense, but I feel like my problem isn’t just false awakenings, but also false... falling asleep. A cycle of that. Combined with a lot of sleep paralysis, and apparently struggling to keep my eyes open and flicking my eyes open a lot according to people who’ve seen me sleeping, which is another reason I think I may be actually waking but unable to maintain consciousness and so my dream just continues as if I’ve stayed awake. I’ve heard that people with sleep apnea have a sensation of fatigue or weakness in sleep, but never all of this other stuff along with it. I do have a history of appearing to “not breathe much” in my sleep, but I never snore, gasp for breath, or anything like that. I don’t think it’s really the kind caused by blockage. It’s probably the central kind where the brain doesn’t realize you need to breathe, if I have it (I have several other neurological problems, dysautonomia being the major one, if that helps.)
I’ve completely lost track of when I was asleep or awake. I tend to remember my dreams in great detail long after they took place, and nothing unrealistic has been happening in my dreams. I feel like I’m waking up 10+ times during even a small nap, registering my surroundings, then just feeling overwhelmingly tired and unable to stay awake suddenly and falling back into the endless loop of chaos. But I’m not even sure if those awakenings are real or not. I have no idea what’s real anymore. I’m pretty sure I can recall *actually* opening my eyes a lot it seems and briefly seeing reality but struggle to keep them open. But this also happens in my dreams, where I’m dreaming of falling asleep and struggling to open my eyes.
On top of all of this, I have sleep-related anxiety and intense nightmares and extreme fatigue all day now. I guess those are to be expected. Please share your thoughts or suggestions. I’m dying here. I’m so extremely tired and I have that physically-drained feeling that you get after a poor nap on a hot day. I’m napping so much to compensate and experiencing this even during my naps. I don’t know what to think or do. It’s definitely worsening each time, possibly due to my actual anxiety and anticipation of it when I sleep. I’m not sure. Help me out here.