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    Old 03-16-2016, 05:40 PM   #1
    Savvay's Avatar
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    Savvay HB User
    Question I have no idea what to call this?

    For about 2-3 months, Iíve been having a combination of disturbing sleep-related experiences. Iím prescribed Xanax and Klonopin for anxiety, and whenever I take them or any sleep aid/cold medicine, it guarantees an episode. However, I have them sometimes whether or not I take these prior to it. If I take Gabapentin/Neurontin, no problems whatsoever. Iím not able to get a refill at the moment for various reasons so I wonít have access to that for a while. Lately, for the past week or so, itís been every single time I sleep and the experiences seem to be worsening with every nightís sleep or nap I take. I canít tell you whatís really happening, because I donít exactly know. Itís very, very difficult for me to distinguish between reality and dreams at this point and Iíll explain why.
    Alright, first, Iím tired in my sleep. This is progressing rapidly. It began with a mild awareness of ďwow I feel a little tiredĒ a few months ago in one dream, but it didnít really affect me. Now, itís so extreme that I cannot continue the dream. I feel so exhausted, drained, fatigued, and weak that in my dreams Iím collapsing and blacking out and ďfalling asleepĒ, etc. My dreams are severely interrupted with this feeling, and I have trouble moving. Everything gets extremely sluggish and slow and dark and difficult.
    Next, and most disturbing, I have false awakenings. But Iím not sure if theyíre false. The reason is, when I ďwake upĒ each time, Iím pretty sure I actually am coming to consciousness normally but in a way, my dream-state continues and Iím so extremely tired that I drift off before I can register anything and determine if itís reality or not. I have these awakenings over and over, and some nights it must be 20-30 times in a row. Sometimes itís just once or twice. The difference, though, is that itís not just waking up out of nowhere in the middle of my dreams into another ďfalse awakeningĒ. Itís a cycle of waking up, starting to feel like I canít stand or move or see and that I need to lie down, finding myself in bed or getting in bed, letting my urge to sleep take over, then waking up again and thinking ďoh Iím awake and I wasnít beforeĒ followed by another episode where itís like ďoh god another one of these false awakening dreamsĒ. The thing is, Iíve had them in the past. These are so horribly different because Iím never sure of whether or not Iím awake, even after I DO wake up. Sometimes it takes me hours to accept that Iím awake, and I still never physically feel like I am anymore.
    Which leads me to the next thing. You know that mechanism that keeps you from actually wetting the bed in your sleep? I have it, and itís overdoing itself. I get up to actually pee, but since I still in a way feel like Iím dreaming physically (like my actual body just feels WRONG) itís more difficult and itís just feels like an error in my brain where itís like ďNO STOP YOUíRE DREAMING DONíT PEEĒ and itís really annoying. But like I donít want to start ignoring it because then I might actually start wetting the bed. Iíd rather be in doubt when I AM awake than wet the bed, so.
    I never leave my room in my dreams anymore. Iím just in bed, perfectly aware of where I am in bed, and Iím just dreaming that Iím in bed and really tired. Like, I donít know if this makes sense, but I feel like my problem isnít just false awakenings, but also false... falling asleep. A cycle of that. Combined with a lot of sleep paralysis, and apparently struggling to keep my eyes open and flicking my eyes open a lot according to people whoíve seen me sleeping, which is another reason I think I may be actually waking but unable to maintain consciousness and so my dream just continues as if Iíve stayed awake. Iíve heard that people with sleep apnea have a sensation of fatigue or weakness in sleep, but never all of this other stuff along with it. I do have a history of appearing to ďnot breathe muchĒ in my sleep, but I never snore, gasp for breath, or anything like that. I donít think itís really the kind caused by blockage. Itís probably the central kind where the brain doesnít realize you need to breathe, if I have it (I have several other neurological problems, dysautonomia being the major one, if that helps.)
    Iíve completely lost track of when I was asleep or awake. I tend to remember my dreams in great detail long after they took place, and nothing unrealistic has been happening in my dreams. I feel like Iím waking up 10+ times during even a small nap, registering my surroundings, then just feeling overwhelmingly tired and unable to stay awake suddenly and falling back into the endless loop of chaos. But Iím not even sure if those awakenings are real or not. I have no idea whatís real anymore. Iím pretty sure I can recall *actually* opening my eyes a lot it seems and briefly seeing reality but struggle to keep them open. But this also happens in my dreams, where Iím dreaming of falling asleep and struggling to open my eyes.
    On top of all of this, I have sleep-related anxiety and intense nightmares and extreme fatigue all day now. I guess those are to be expected. Please share your thoughts or suggestions. Iím dying here. Iím so extremely tired and I have that physically-drained feeling that you get after a poor nap on a hot day. Iím napping so much to compensate and experiencing this even during my naps. I donít know what to think or do. Itís definitely worsening each time, possibly due to my actual anxiety and anticipation of it when I sleep. Iím not sure. Help me out here.

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    confusion, consciousness, fatigued, sleep disorder, vivid dreams

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