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  • Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

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    Old 06-13-2005, 10:16 PM   #1
    Spazmosses
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    Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

    Sometimes I go for 2 weeks without smoking, sometimes 5 days, ( most common) the longest I;ve gone was two months, so I can quit but I find myself occasionaly relapsing particulary when I socialize or drink ( most of friends smoke), and I allow them to smoke in my apartment because it would lessen their chances of wanting to come over if they couldnt which would just plain suck, usually I relapse have maybe two cigarettes once or twice a week, when my friends forget im quitting (since im so instable about it), and offer me a cigarette, leave stubs in the ashtry which I end up looking for and smoking, or sometimes leaving whole cigarettes accidently in my house. I also relapse the worst! when I drink which is usually once or twice a month, I had 3 beers a week ago, got mildly drunk and *impulsively got a ride to Store 24 in the middle of the night, bought a whole pack of marlboros, chain-smoked maybe five, felt great after smoking, the alcohol made the craving so strong and smoking feel even better, about 100x;s then I ever do/did smoking sober, after the drunk wore off I felt guilty for relapsing after going a week without the patch and buying a pack just because I got drunk and needed a cigarette oh so bad, I was GOING TO have a cigarette!, i couldnt fight the craving drunk, and was so impulsive. I wish I could quit smoking without so much instabilty, I smoked for 2 in a half years and relaized I can;t smoke anymore if Im going to continue singing, I enjoy that more then smoking as much as I loved smoking and how it made things easier, espacially my ****** job. Do I have to give up my social life, and already very moderate drinking in order to completly quite smoking?!, I;d think I;d go crazy without seeing my friends, and its the summer, therfore no school to worry about so I want to be able to drink. I 'd also rather continue not using the patch, because I just got addicted to the patch and had just as much trouble quitting that as cigarettes~!, do you think its a worthful idea to get some more patches and just wear a patch when im socializing with my smoker friends, and drinking?, I've thought about doing that. It also doesnt help when my friends under 18 ask me to buy them cigarettes, but im at least somewhat proud I had a pack of cigarettes in my purse for a day ina half and didn't relapse and take some of their cigarettes, ( like I used to when I held on to their cigarettes.) MUST QUIT *FULLY, SICK OF FALLING OFF THE WAGON ON WEEKENDS>!!

     
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    Old 06-14-2005, 12:43 AM   #2
    princess72
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    Re: Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

    Hey............this is the HABIT part of smoking. I quit 3 months ago, and it was hard as hell! The good part---i already quit drinking! When i drank i would chain smoke and go thru 3 packs!!! It was soooo sick and the cigarettes were the habit part that went along with drinking! Just like i would accociate smoking to: drinking coffee, talking on the phone, sitting on the deck in the sun, visiting with friends....pretty much you name it! Breaking those after you stop is hard! Im not sure if i could have quit, if i quit smoking first! The pressure would be on, if i was in a smokey bar drinking and just having a drink and not a smoke. Im tellin ya this is the hardest and nastiest drug to stop! I cant tell you how healthy i feel. Let me put it this way....i am in school to be a fitness trainer.....but i smoked like a chimney-----i exersise 6-7 days a week! It's a daily struggle...and i cant say i'll never smoke again...you know the saying------you can only take one day at a time! Good Luck to you.......................

     
    Old 06-15-2005, 05:49 PM   #3
    Johnster
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    Re: Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

    Spazmosses,

    I have and will continue now coming to this site for as long as possible to help everyone in any way to get and stay away from this poison that has wrecked my and others I have known lives. I have repeatedly warned and seen the effects of drinking with smoking friends. I do not care how long you stop. I myself have and have heard of people quitting for YEARS only to have just one wile drinking that turned into the day you started and never quit. Someone here recently posted another perspective I never fully seen until they said it. Some people are used to having a cigarette after eating, coffee, drinking or whatever. When they quit some do any of those things more often to reward themselves subconsciously with one again. It also makes the cravings worse. I am not in any way saying that is why you may be drinking but to show you the CONTROL THIS MONSTOR HAS OVER US!!! IT REALLY DOES!!! MY ANGER OF THIS MADE ME QUIT IT THIS TIME NEVER TO GO BACK EVER!!! Think not? You are a singer with a God given gift and your still smoking??? NOW if a piano player purposely stuck his hand in a running lawn mower chute every day even because his friends came over to do it or because he was drinking most people would call that insanity. Wouldn’t you???? Listen, I can tell your still young. Take it from me and so many of us who wrecked other things more important than our voices. STOP AND RUN AWAY NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES BEFORE IT TAKES OVER YOUR LIFE TOO!!!!

    Good luck and God Bless
    John

    P.S. Keep us posted.

    Last edited by Johnster; 06-15-2005 at 05:50 PM.

     
    Old 06-18-2005, 07:33 AM   #4
    ejusn
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    Re: Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

    I can relate to your plight in many ways. When I started smoking, it was only to relieve boredom or during infrequent bouts of drinking with friends. The thing is, you aren't really "quitting" as much as delaying smoking until later. The biggest challenge I've had as a recent quitter is the finality of "quitting." When I had cigarettes on me and was too busy to go out to smoke, I'd never mind, because I knew "I'd get out there eventually." When I was in situations where I couldn't smoke, for example during work, the desire to smoke would plague me endlessly. In my opinion, social smoking isn't all that bad to habitual and daily smoking, but more often than not, it ends up being the gateway to a frequent smoking pattern. How bad it is compared to anything is inconsequential when considering the smoking is making you feel guilty.

    That makes me think of your friends. The biggest dilemma I've had with my friends is the change in my life and the affect it has on their lives. When I asked my friends to go outside to smoke, we had a serious discuss about it and based on what I've gathered, my quitting either instills guilt in them due to their own desire to quit or it symbolizes "growing up" or something else. My friends constantly test me "I bet you want a cigarette, dont you EJ." Of course I do. I want what they want, I want to enjoy something ridiculously harmful and go on believing that it will never affect me physically. I like to wax analytical, so my opinion is that they aren't even testing me, they're testing the impossibility of quitting to justify not quitting on their own. Maybe not, it could be many things.

    Having said all of that, I have to ask: Are your friends close to you only because you smoke? IF they have to step outside to smoke at your house, will it have such dreadful repercussions on your friendship? I hope not. I also doubt it will stop you from socializing. Every smoker or ex-smoker I know tends to smoke when they drink. A good deal of non-smokers I know actually asked me for cigarettes when we went out to drink. Alcohol is a depressant and cigarettes are stimulants. When came out of my smoker's fog, I realized how silly that was and decided not to drink anymore. If you smoked when you drank and that was it, I'd honestly think it wasnt too big of a deal, but smoking butts that your friends leave behind?

    So I guess in short, how it affects your social life will depend upon you and the nature of the people you socialize with. Alot of good people enjoy everything smokers enjoy except the need to smoke.

    Regards

    EJ

     
    Old 06-23-2005, 02:12 PM   #5
    yock
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    Re: Socializing and Drinking Making Quitting For Good Impossible

    Spaz
    It is possible to continue to drink and not smoke. The day I quit smoking I went to a smoky bar, had a few beers, and sat and watched my husband and other people smoke around me. All I could think of was how they were hurting their lungs by continuing to smoke. The second hand smoke was probably hurting me as well but thats not the point here. THe point is I DRANK AND DIDN'T SMOKE. Because I did that, I was able to quit and never go back (well it's been 15 months now). I might add that when my husband saw I was able to sit in the bar, drink, and not smoke, he knew it was possible to do it also, and quit 3 days later. He's also still smoke free. If you know you are going to continue to have cocktails now and then, you must put yourself in the situation while you are strong about quitting. That's important. I was very strong about quitting (heck it was my first day) when I went into the bar. I said "self, you can do this". That night when I went home, I knew I'd never go back to smoking. I was so proud of myself. All it takes is one time to go into that bar and drink, and not smoke, and the next time it'll be easier, then easier, then so easy, you'll wonder why you ever thought it would be hard. BUt again, you have to do this while you are in your strong quitting stage. If you don't drink while you are quitting, then that one drink in a weak moment could ruin it for you. Have that beer while you are strong and don't smoke. It's possible. I smoked a pack to pack and a half for 25 years. Never thought I'd be able to quit. Now I can't imagine going back. I want to stress that I am not advocating drinking. But people enjoy a cocktail now and then, so I'm just pointing out that it is possible to enjoy cocktail and not smoke. Good Luck Spaz, it is possible.

    Last edited by yock; 06-23-2005 at 02:17 PM.

     
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