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  • Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

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    Old 12-24-2006, 04:33 AM   #1
    Bullwinkle2
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    Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    One of the reasons I needed to stop smoking was because I need to have surgery, and my surgeon won't do it unless I quit. Also, my surgeon requires that I have a psyche evaluation before surgery, so I had one.

    Okay, so I took the tests the psychiatrist told me to take. You know the kind……you use a Number 2 Pencil and fill in the bubbles. Two different personality tests, et al. I called his office last week and left a voicemail, asking him to please fax the results to my surgeon. He calls me back and tells me that he wants to discuss a few things with me.

    Uh oh. Hmmm. Okay.

    So I go into his office yesterday to discuss the results. He’s ‘troubled’ by some of my answers, and thinks I need to see him once a week for three months to work on some of my ‘issues’. This guy thinks I’m certifiable, and is going to tell my surgeon that I shouldn’t have the surgery just now.

    What the Hell?

    I guess that’s what I get for being completely honest in my answers. He went over those answers with me, and I gave him my explanations for giving those answers. Each time I gave him an explanation, he gave me the once-over and mumbled, “Uh HUH.” And then scribbled something on his note pad.

    Sanctimonious, judgmental sonofabi-otch.

    Here’s your explanations, buddy. The REASON I have nightmares each night is because I’m wearing a freakin’ nicotine patch. The nicotine patch is notorious for causing nightmares. My surgeon told me I hafta quit smoking, so I haven’t had a cigarette in 33 days now. The nicotine patch helps takes some of the edginess away.

    The REASON I am anxious and edgy is because I haven’t had a cigarette in 33 days, after having smoked for over 20 years.

    The REASON I’m a little depressed at this time of year is because I don’t get to see my family. Holy Crap. ANYONE would be a tad depressed because of missing family members at the holidays. Add to the equation that people trying to quit smoking experience depression and, voila, you have a patient, such as I, stating: “Yes, I experience depression.”

    Stupid freakin’ “read everything negative you can about this woman and her answers” doctor (and I use the term ‘doctor’ loosely).

    The REASON I nibble on food – even when I’m not hungry – is because I’m trying to find a substitute for sticking a damn cigarette into my mouth. You call it bingeing. I call it finding a substitute for a cigarette. It’s not bingeing, you idiot.

    So, this unprepossessing fool holds the keys, as it were, to me having this surgery that I need. With one sweeping, generalization about me to my surgeon, he holds the power to either allow me to have this life-altering surgery, or to deny me the hope I’ve built upon for the past year.

    Man, I want a cigarette. Bad. It’s seven o’clock in the morning on Christmas Eve, and I’m thinking of hoofing it down to the local convenience store and getting a pack.

    I emailed my surgeon when I got home yesterday from Doctor Whats-his-face, and told him just what I think of the so-and-so, and WHY I answered the way I did to some of those questions. With everything I’ve read about my surgeon – and from my assessment when I met him in person – he strikes me as genuinely interested in helping people like me. I'm thinking of emailing this entry to him.

    *sigh* I need a cigarette in a very bad way.
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    Old 12-24-2006, 06:41 AM   #2
    SanyBelle
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bullwinkle2
    .......Man, I want a cigarette. Bad. It’s seven o’clock in the morning on Christmas Eve, and I’m thinking of hoofing it down to the local convenience store and getting a pack. <snip>
    *sigh* I need a cigarette in a very bad way.
    The pdoc sounds like a jerk, hopefully your surgeon will proceed on with the surgery w/o his input.

    About wanting a cigarette, I really hate the cigarette companies for getting me hooked (okay, I picked up the first cig, but gee, did they have to make it so addictive???), I'll always want a cigarette... the cravings are much easier to deal with after 7 months, but that feeling in my stomach is always there.



    And.... remember what you wrote in another thread:
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bullwinkle2
    Wow. Suddenly I feel like a whiney brat when I think I NEED a cigarette.

    Thank you for your post. I needed to read that. My paradigm has shifted. Yesterday I was thinking that I CAN'T stay quit.

    This morning I know that I MUST stay quit. Tomorrow will make three weeks.


    Good luck and Have a Happy Holiday!

    TF

     
    Old 12-27-2006, 02:13 PM   #3
    Liamsmom
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Hey Bullwinkle ****** that psychiatrist what an a$$ hole. Your doin great and don't let a little detour derail your great progress. !!!!!!!

     
    Old 01-01-2007, 07:03 AM   #4
    confrustrated
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Did he say he wanted the eval done by that psych? If not, see another!! I can't imagine they will all be like that!
    Good luck and way to go!!!!!

     
    Old 01-01-2007, 10:44 AM   #5
    alexnaison
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bullwinkle2
    I need a cigarette in a very bad way.
    According to "health-care-notes" at blagspot, 30 days is the most critical period! My congratulations!

     
    Old 01-01-2007, 11:47 AM   #6
    Bullwinkle2
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    People, people, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

    I made it. I turned the corner. I am 40 days smoke-free!!

    WOO HOO!!!

    Thanks for the continued support of all of you.
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    Old 01-05-2007, 02:53 AM   #7
    confrustrated
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    WAY TO GO!! My boyfriend quit smoking cold turkey right before Thanksgiving. I was so proud of him and I'm so proud of you too!!

     
    Old 01-05-2007, 09:34 AM   #8
    Grehound27
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    Thumbs up Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Let me add my congratulations to the mix! You have made it past the hardest point....some people don't make it 33 hours (or 3 hours in some cases). Pat yourself on the back and know you have taken a GIANT step in improving your health and life!!

    Way to go!

    Dave
    Smoke Free since 2/9/06!

     
    Old 01-05-2007, 07:09 PM   #9
    Memaw649
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    Re: Thirty-three days without a cigarette, but wanting one...

    Bullwinkle, you are awesome!! Keep it up! You're doin' soooooooo good. Be proud. Have you told people that you are now a non-smoker? Don't that sound good?!!

    Memaw

     
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