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  • Quitting without destroying my marriage?

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    Old 04-24-2007, 09:59 AM   #1
    Key2Life
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    Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Hi all…newbie here. I am really glad I found this board because it seems no one else can relate to me right now…

    My last cig was 9 days ago…I started with Commit lozenges for the first 2 days, but I didn’t care for them so I quit those too.

    Since I quit, my emotions have been OUT OF CONTROL. I mean, I am a walking mess.

    I’m normally a really laid back person, but I’ve been angry and short-tempered…which okay, I pretty much expected that.

    What I didn’t expect was how depressed I am…I feel hopeless and sad all the time. I cry for no reason. Turns out that if you are prone to depression, you have a really good chance of triggering it when you quit.

    I’ve been on Lexapro for a while (prior to my quit) and I’ve been working out 1 hour each day, trying to combat these vile symptoms, but neither is making a dent. I’m getting really frustrated and so is my husband. He told me the other day he couldn’t stand to be around me right now and left me with the kids to go out with friends. This is the man who begged me to quit for the past 5 years, and now that I have he can’t ride the storm out.

    I am now terrified that he’ll leave me, as he has been very distant and cold towards me lately. I’m not normally this needy, either, so I’m not sure if this is a symptom of the withdrawal or the depression. Anyway, this is just a vicious cycle…I may not be smoking cigarettes, but I’m going to end up divorced and friendless. And that terrifies me.

    I keep telling everyone, “This isn’t me right now, please just ignore how I’m acting”, but I guess that’s pretty much impossible for people to do.

    I just want to be me again…I hate feeling like this. Anyone else go through something like this? How long does it last?

     
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    Old 04-24-2007, 10:48 AM   #2
    Jwande
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    I am not certain about combatting depression, but Chantix is a new drug out that lessens the withdrawl symptons from nicotine. Talk with your doctor.
    Good luck and keep posting. This forum is a good source for everyone.

     
    Old 04-24-2007, 11:31 AM   #3
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    I am so sorry your going through this.

    Jwande is right. Even though you've already quit you could call your Dr and ask for chantix. It helps with the cravings so you won't feel the way your feeling right now. I have read of other people doing that.

    I know what your saying when you say you don't feel like yourself. I felt that way yesterday. Today i feel better and i know tomorrow i'll feel even better than today.

     
    Old 04-24-2007, 12:21 PM   #4
    Key2Life
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    A lot of people I work with are on Chantix and have had great success with it, but I wasn't sure if mixing that with an antidepressant was okay or not. You're right, though, I should just call my dr. and ask about it.

    And as bummed as I was last night and this morning, I feel a little better this afternoon. It comes in waves...

    I also gave my husband some info to read from the net about smoking and depression so he could see I'm not "crazy"...it's a physiological response to the lack of nicotine in my body. It seemed to help heal our rift after he read more about it.

    Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice.

     
    Old 04-24-2007, 12:32 PM   #5
    Jwande
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Stay with us and keep us updated. 9 days CT - You have my respect!

     
    Old 04-24-2007, 09:56 PM   #6
    Memaw649
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Key2Life,
    Welcome to the message board. Please come back often!!

    Congratulations on being nicotine free for 9 days!! WAY TO GO!!

    I think I agree with everyone else, you need to go see your doctor and explain what is going on with you. See if there is anything that can help you get over the withdrawals. I took the Chantix. But you are almost through the worst part of the withdrawals. Going cold turkey is very brave!! I admire anyone who can do that. You are to be commended.
    How are your cravings? You need to be eating healthy right now and drinking lots of water and juice.
    Since you quit smoking, your Lexapro dosage might need to be adjusted.
    Call your doc and talk to him/her.

    Good Luck to you!!
    Please come on back and let us know how you are doing. You will get the support you need here.

    Memaw

     
    Old 04-25-2007, 02:23 PM   #7
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Memaw you are right...I think I am almost over the worst. I feel much better today...the "dark cloud" that's been hanging over me for the past week is starting to lift. Geez, has it been 10 days now? I'm not even sure, so that's a good sign!

    My cravings aren't too bad...I think a part of me will ALWAYS want one, but I know I can't. I've made a concious effort to be healthy since I quit (to combat the dreaded weight gain) so lots of healthy snacks, water and exercise for me.

    And I've stopped snapping at everyone in my path, thank god!

    My lexapro dosage may still need tweaked a little...certainly, if I were to do it over again, I would've used the Chantix and talked to my dr. about adjusting the lex BEFORE I quit. Hindsight is 20/20 [sigh]

    Thanks again for everyone's support!

     
    Old 04-25-2007, 03:19 PM   #8
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Key2Life - welcome and congrats on quitting! You poor thing! It will get better - just tell your loved ones to be patient, you will be your old self in no time, which sounds like it might be happening already. Tell them you are combating Mister Nicodemon and he is very, very powerful, but you are much stronger than him, and will overcome this, if they will just sit tight for a while. Pretty soon you will be your old self again. I hope your husband stays by your side, which I'm sure he will, he just doesn't know how to deal Nicodemon, as he's never met him before.

    I'm glad you've made this decision to be smoke-free - you won't regret it and neither will your family. It's the best thing you could do for yourself!!

    Stay strong, and things WILL get better for you....


     
    Old 04-25-2007, 10:05 PM   #9
    Memaw649
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    Hi Key2Life,
    I'm glad today was better. 10 days smokefree is GREAT!! Hopefully each day will be better than the one before. And yes, the cravings do last for a long time. I've been quit 8+ months and I still get what I call mini urges. It's more like a thought than an actual craving.

    Just remember that you are an addict just like me. You can never again have even one puff of a cigarette. If I did that, I would be a pack a day smoker again. And if I did that, I would have to go through this all over again. And I definitely don't want to do that!!!! Do you?

    Good Luck to you!!

    Memaw

     
    Old 04-26-2007, 10:24 AM   #10
    Key2Life
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    Re: Quitting without destroying my marriage?

    I am glad, in a way, that my withdrawal was so hard and well, painful, because I know that I NEVER want to go through that again. It's what kept me from buying a pack when I felt so low, because I just thought, "hang on, and you'll get through it", versus smoking a few and having to start all over!

    Skimmer - "Nicodemon" was harder on me than I thought he would be. I like the analogy, by the way! It truly does feel like an exorcism has to be performed to get rid of the nicotine addiction.

     
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