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    Old 07-14-2008, 09:45 AM   #1
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    Can you please help me?

    I have been smoking since I was a teenager and I am now in my mid-forties. I hate smoking, I would give almost anything if I had never started. I can remember begging my dad to quit when I was a child, but he didn't. Now he has suffered several heart attacks and has emphyzema. I know that if I don't quit, I am heading in the same direction as he. There was a time when I quit for a couple of years, but on September 11, I started again and haven't let up since.

    I keep reading posts that say "you have to want to quit." How do you make yourself "want" to??? I know smoking is terrible for me and I don't want to smoke, but apparently, I don't want to quit enough to actually try quitting. I just hate myself. I have a terrible sounding cough and I can tell the smoking is really affecting me now unlike when I was younger.

    I just want to "want" to quit, but I don't know how.

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    Old 07-14-2008, 03:30 PM   #2
    Mary Annie
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    Hi Karel,
    I smoked for 30 plus years and enjoyed it every day. I started when I was in my teens back in the '60's when it was "cool" to smoke. The days of James Dean and the Marlboro Man and smoking was sexy. Anyway, when we found out the cig. tax was going up over a dollar a pack my husband informed me we were going to quit smoking. I didn't really "want" to but didn't want to let him down. It was at that time that I decided it was time to grow up. I was no longer that 16 year old girl who wanted to be
    COOL! And smoking is definitely NOT cool. We were becoming outcasts in public where smoking is rarely allowed anymore, I smelled like a charcoal grill, my coughing and wheezing were becoming worse every day. So, we quit in October 2007 and have been smoke free ever since. We've saved over $800.and feel wonderful. No more stinking, coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath etc. etc. I'd advise everyone to do it. You might get some insight going back and reading some of the old posts on this board under HELLO and HELLO part 2. These boards sure helped me get through. I hope this may have inspired you just a bit - love yourself enough to QUIT SMOKING. I'll be here if you need anything!!!!!!


    Old 07-14-2008, 04:32 PM   #3
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    I didn't want to quit either and I smoked 4 packs a day for many, many years. But the state I lived in about 10 years ago raised the tax to the highest in the was so high I could no longer afford to smoke so the next time I went to the store I bought the nicotine patches instead and haven't smoked since. I would start smoking in a heart beat if I could afford it but I can't so that is just how it is. It is certainly better for anyone not to smoke but that doesn't change the fact I enjoyed it and never wanted to quit. Years ago my dad smoked from the age of 8 until the grandkids started to come and it started to bother him to smoke around them and then he made a deal with himself to stop on the day one of my kids were born so that is what he did at the age of 60...he lived a healthy life for another 32 years...he was 92 when he died of old age. Then there was my brother who died when he was 62 of lung cancer...he never stopped smoking....or drinking. So for you I guess there has to be something that you are willing to give it up for...or not.

    Old 07-14-2008, 05:02 PM   #4
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    Karel-- I think you being here and looking for help is PROOF that you "want" to quit! If you're looking for physiological feelings to cue you to "want" to quit, you won't find them naturally, because it's a physical addiction! I WANTED to quit, but I didn't FEEL like I wanted to quit. My body still WANTED the cigarette, but it's been 11 days since my last cigarette, and I can tell you, you CAN overpower the side of you that is chained to that pack of cigs. I used Chantix. I smoked a pack a day, every day for 15 years. I made the decision to quit for a lot of the same reasons you mentioned; smelling awful, shortness of breath (a big one), coughing, feeling like an outcast in social situations, cost, etc. I started the first week of Chantix feeling torn...I wanted to be doing this for all the right reasons, but I didn't want to say goodbye to such a huge part of my crutch, what felt normal, routine, comfortable...smoking. I pressed on though, and when my quit date came, I still wasn't ready to say goodbye. I smoked two days past my quit date, and then finally surrendered. I thought "I've already invested 9 days into this, why go back now? Why not at least give it a try and see what happens?" That was 11 days ago, and visiting this website is the ONLY reason I am remembering that I have to take my evening pill, because I just forgot! My urge to smoke has diminished incredibly, and increasingly with each passing day. I'm not trying to push you toward using Chantix or any drug for that matter, but I do think an aid would help you. For me, Chantix has been a miracle drug. I know that I wouldn't have been able to do it alone. (and by the way, just two weeks ago I felt exactly like you did and read the posts like mine and rolled my eyes thinking "i just don't believe it"), but I'm here to tell you, it CAN be done. Does it take some will power? YES. But I already feel so proud of myself for how far I've come. I'm already starting to smell and taste things like I never have before, and the tightness in my chest is letting up. My husband wants to keep kissing me because I don't taste like an ashtray, and I feel SO relaxed, not having to worry about when my pack will run out, or planning my smoking around road trips, meals, etc., etc. It's just a relief. Sorry for babbling.....good luck to you

    Old 07-15-2008, 12:08 AM   #5
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    ((((Big hug))))

    Don't be so hard on yourself karel, smoking is the hardest addiction to give up. I still feel like smoking and I think I will feel that way for the rest of my life but I have willpower and that is what is needed when giving up, I'm not going to let a silly addiction like smoking win. A few weeks before quitting I kept thinking of all the bad things smoking has done to my body and I imagined what the future would hold for me if I continued to smoke, I think that did help me to hate smoking. Good luck with quitting, you can do it

    Old 07-15-2008, 06:58 AM   #6
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    Thank you all so very much for the encouraging replies. I know what I have to do and I am just going to have to do it. I think if i quit thinking about it so much and just took the plunge I would do it. I'm just not a very strong willed person and I wish that I was. I know what I am in for if I don't quit, but this little voice inside my head tells me, "why quit now, you've smoked all the years already and it won't do you any good to quit now." When I see my father, I know what is ahead for me. He has had 3 heart attacks and has emphyzema and he still smokes, not as much as he used to, but he still does, he's tried everything to quit and nothing worked. I'm afraid I will be like him

    Old 07-23-2008, 08:18 PM   #7
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    Try hypnosis. that is what helped me stop smoking. It has been almost 2 years. Godbless

    Old 07-31-2008, 04:52 PM   #8
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    Re: Can you please help me?

    Karel, I did not "want" to quit either. I was worried b/c everyone says, "you have to want to" and I sure as hell didn't, so I figured my "quit" would be temporary! A friend wanted to fix me up w/a good looking, well-off, recently divorced man who detests smokers. I figured I'd quit, meet him, and if I did't like him, go back to smoking, and if we did hit it off, I'd just dazzle him and make him accept me as a smoker! I went on Chantix in Jan. and I haven't smoked since. Meanwhile, the guy met another woman (a non-smoker but a heavy drinker!) and is involved w/ her!!! (I heard he's just playing the field for now). Anyway, all my friend said, "better not go back to smoking b/c this woman he's with won't last long". Frankly, I couldn't care less about the guy now, but I kind of like not smoking. I look better. I don't feel different, although I didn't have physical ailments when I smoked anyway (no coughing, not hacking, etc.). So even though I never "wanted" to quit, I now feel that I just do NOT WANT to go back. Start trying methods to your liking and just take it one day at a time.

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