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  • I'm still up!! A few jokes for you all.

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    Old 05-08-2003, 04:27 AM   #1
    IonMan
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    Join Date: Apr 2003
    Location: NW Vermont
    Posts: 163
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    Cool I'm still up!! A few jokes for you all.

    A Prayer for the Stressed

    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they ****** me off.

    Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

    *****

    Engineers and The Human Body

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
    The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

    *************


    Engineering In Hell

    An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
    So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

    One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

    Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

    God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

    Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

    God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

    Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"



    __________________
    Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
    May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
    Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

     
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    Old 05-08-2003, 10:33 AM   #2
    franjo
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    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Location: Indiana
    Posts: 708
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    Cool

    Hey fellow Night Owl,

    Thanks for all the jokes and diversions!! I've really been enjoying them.

    I am wondering, though, are you able to make up for lost sleep throughout the day? I hope that you are. I'm generally dragging myself to bed around 3-4am, but have to get up with a 3 y/o, so I don't have the luxury of making it up.

    When all this is over for you, you may have to reset your clock, so to speak, to get back on track. Have you tried Melatonin? It is natural and aids in preparing you for sleep. Just a thought. I haven't tried it, but found out about it when I was having trouble getting my son to sleep. I opted not to use it on him since there hasn't been enough studies done in children as to its effects. I've read that calcium and magnesium supplements can work well for sleep too.

    Until then, keep 'em comin'! But firstly, I hope for you to have blissful sleep.

    ~Teri
    __________________
    Spina-bifida occulta; Congenital Scoliosis (dextrorotatory and 'S' curve, 42 thorasic and 57 degrees lumbar); Meningomyelocele (split cord @ L1); Diastematomyelia (re-sectioned at L2-3); tethered cord @ S-3; cysts on cord; various developmental abnormalities of the spine: narrowing of all disk spaces, defects in posterior arches, ectasia of the spinal canal and dura, segmental disease, sclerosis in L. iliac bone and adjacent sacroiliac joint, unilateral osteitis condensans ilium, hypertrophic facet disease L4-5 and L5-S1.

    Surgeries include, but not limited to:
    Lumbar fusion-1968
    Fusion with Herrington Rod instrumentation-1970
    Femoral osteotomy-1971
    Tethered cord release-1987
    Rod removal-1987
    Chiari-type pelvic osteotomy-1988
    Trochanteric osteotomy-1989
    Tethered cord release-2003
    Fusion with instrumentation with lots and lots of screws-2003

     
    Old 05-09-2003, 03:29 AM   #3
    IonMan
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    Join Date: Apr 2003
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    Posts: 163
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    Teri,

    I slept great last night.
    The two Roxecet helped a lot!!

    Yes, I am able to nap as I want. Unemployed & single. LOL
    (reminds me of an old song "Too Much Time on my Hands")
    I have always been a bit of a night owl anyways. Besides over the years I have pulled all-nighters, changed shifts at the drop of the hat, flown to where-ever & worked all night (jet lagged) to get the machines fixed, so I can re-set the internal clock anytime, although as I get older it does seem to get harder and I am not as effective when tired as I used to be.

    One of the reasons I want to get this all behind me is to get back to working. If the feeling in my hands & fingers & finger tips comes back I will try to get into the field of work I was in before I was laied off. An expert, I am told, a glorified fix it man, IMHO, from all the years of experince in the Semi-counductor manufacturing industry. I thank god that I put so much into my 401K when I was working, otherwise I would have had to sell the house when this all came on.

    Well, thats all for now

    Cheers
    Cliff



    ------------------
    Cervical myelopathy with frank cord compression from bony impingement.
    22 Apr 03 C5 corpectomy, a C4/6 strut graft with allograft bone, titanium plate
    __________________
    Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
    May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
    Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

     
    Old 05-09-2003, 07:38 AM   #4
    OsteoMom
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    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 15
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    I like the last joke the best! Thanks for posting them. I really needed some humor this morning.

     
    Old 05-09-2003, 08:30 AM   #5
    jbell95
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    Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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    Oh, too funny!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/jester.gif
    __________________
    01/27/03 Cervical MRI:

    C3-C6 straightening of normal cervical curvature.
    C2-T1 mild central spondylosis without significant stenosis.
    C3-C4 broad-based spondylosis and bulging with mild to moderate flattening of the anterior epidural space.
    C4-C5 broad-based spondylosis and bulging eccentric to the left with mild to moderate compression upon the anterior epidural space.
    C5-C6 spondylosis with a broad-based protrusion with moderate compression of the anterior epidural space.
    C6-C7 mild central spondylosis and a small midline protrusion with minimal flattening of the anterior epidural space.

    03/28/03 Myelogram/CT.

    04/02/03 Lumbar MRI:
    bulging disc L4-L5, DDD.

    04/24/03 Brain MRI.

    05/16/03 Nerve Conduction Studies.

     
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