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  • Does anyone else feel like this?



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    Old 02-07-2006, 05:14 AM   #1
    notredamebird
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    Does anyone else feel like this?

    Hi, everyone. I'm wondering if anyone else has the same problem that I do. I'm trying to understand it and find ways to make it better.

    I am a Ph.D. student in the humanities. I'm working on my dissertation (which means: I'm writing a book, and its a large, open-ended project that takes a minimum of 2-3 years to complete). Sometimes I love it, and other times, I'm just miserable. I'll wake up (it almost always starts as I wake up in the morning and turn over uneasily), and just feel physically and emotionally terrible.

    Here's what happens:
    -I get either a vague or specific fear about the project. Is the idea right? Is my prose OK? Maybe I should structure the chapter some other way (i.e., start the writing all over again)? What if I'm crazy? And most of all: "This is taking too long. I need to meet the deadline." It all races through my head. I can't make the thoughts go away.

    -I get an awful hole in my stomach, and I sometimes vomit or go through the motions.

    -I feel really sad and helpless.

    -I wonder what the heck is wrong with me that I'm not doing a better job (since I'm not meeting my own idea of how something would ideally be going).

    -I wonder why on earth I feel like this and if something is wrong with me.

    -I feel physically drained and tired (but not restful)

    -I loose my appetite and stop eating. In periods of strong stress, I've actually eaten almost nothing for 2 or 3 weeks.

    I've had feelings like this for the past 8 years, ever since I was a freshman in college. I was a real workhorce--I'd write a paper for hours. That focus would be partly driven by passion and partly by worry. (Can I do this?) I used to see it as something I just had to experience a little bit, my "payment" for doing what I really loved doing.

    But in the past couple years, its been much more of a problem for me. It's starting to feel insane. I feel so terrible on days that it hits me that I just don't know what to do. I want to stop it.

    Does anyone have symptoms like this? I'm pretty sure its more than the effects of normal, everyday stress. But it doesn't seem as severe as clinical anxiety. It's not a "generalized anxiety" because its related to a definite area of my life. I'm not afraid or "everything" (though sometimes it makes me worry about other things), and I don;t wake up like this every day. I still get things done *most of the time.* It isn't as though it shuts down my whole life for weeks on end.

    Part of my problems is that I'm just sure what to make of it and how to move in a positive direction. I don't want to say there's no problem, because honestly, I think it is. But I don't want to run out for medications for a condition that I might not have.

    Please, does anyone else feel like this?
    What has worked for you?
    Any wisdom is much appreciated! I'd be very grateful!

    Last edited by notredamebird; 02-07-2006 at 05:19 AM.

     
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    Old 02-07-2006, 02:31 PM   #2
    crowbar
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    Re: Does anyone else feel like this?

    hi,
    my experience of removing stress or anxiety,is simple as changing ones thoughts maybe to something good ,but just make sure its different.
    if hard take a quick walk to the bathroom

    all the best
    crowbar

     
    Old 02-07-2006, 03:04 PM   #3
    notredamebird
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    Re: Does anyone else feel like this?

    But the question is, how do you block out the thoughts? Once it starts its really hard to ward off.

    I try talking myself out of it, but the rest of me doesn't seem to be listening to that part of my mind. (Which drives me crazy, because I'm a very rational and controlled person normally!)

     
    Old 02-07-2006, 04:14 PM   #4
    crowbar
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    Re: Does anyone else feel like this?

    easy just start thinking of somthing different say like sport or pastime you like.never say anything negative like i can't stop thinking of ,or i can't ward it off,
    say i can! i can!

    cu
    crow
    and as i said it will be easier if you get up for a minute.as you have to think of what do i do to get up.
    see what i mean as being simple

     
    Old 02-12-2006, 10:35 AM   #5
    eminemworshipper
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    Re: Does anyone else feel like this?

    Notredamebird- I can completely empathize with you! I pretty much had 4 odd months of hardcore work myself..and I got so stressed out that I got to the point where I was upset alot, getting anxious, believing that not matter how much effort I put into something it wasn't good enough/structured well enough etc...I felt that I sort of ceased to function- like I couldnt hold anything in my head that wasnt work related..and my appetite stopped....so many things! Im wondering when this dissertation is due to be handed in. As soon as my exams were over and assignments and everything else where handed in..EVERY symptom of my stress etc was expelled. I sort of wonder how I did cope with it because the feelings, as u know, are so intense and you find yourself wondering how on earth you're gonna pull this off and everything. Have you already been to see someone about this? And, is there anyone else that you could talk to e.g. friend doing the same course..to talk things through?


    Caroline

     
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