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babydiva 09-29-2010 08:27 AM

My mom placing blame on me.
I haven't been here for a while, probably somewhat months or close to a year, but I'm having a bit of an issue at home. Whenever I go out and my mom asks me to purchase something, I do, but sometimes it's not the one she wants. Mainly not the regular brand. The reason being is that if there sold out or if she doesn't explain to me the exact one she wants. Which is what occured lastnight. Lastnight she asked me to get some bandaids at the dollerstore. She wanted the sizable ones for her leg, not her toes, like upper thigh. I saw different kinds so I didn't know what exactly she wanted. I called and asked and she said get the one for finger cuts, but then also said it's for her foot. So I said ok. I looked around and still couldn't choose one. I called back again and said they don't have them. She asked me how come? And asked what kinds are there, I told her well there's elastic ones. I said it's for your leg right? The finger ones were too small. She said get which ever one. I had a feeling there'd be a problem when I got home, so I called back a third time and asked again. I said what exactly do you want because there's so many different kinds. She said get the finger ones. So I picked up 2 boxes. A box of the finger ones and the elastic one since I thought the elastic ones were better for her upper leg. Plus she already said the finger ones were too small. When I got home apparently it was wrong. She started yelling saying one says latex and she doesn't know if she should use it. Asking me why'd I buy it? Causing an argument. This isn't the first time it's happened. There are times when she asks me to buy other products such as a grocery product and it's sold out. It's my fault if it's sold out. Why? I bought the wrong one. If the regular kind is sold out, what am I suppose to get?? I asked her if she wants to maintain a relationship with me. She says ofcourse. I said then stop blaming me all the time. She started laughing, I said I'm serious it's not funny. I walked away, after a second or two she says she's sorry. I know I shouldn't say that, but there's nothing else to say anymore. When she yells at me and I yell back, my head and chest hurt. What can I do about this?

hlnorg 11-25-2010 04:45 AM

Re: My mom placing blame on me.
I can see that you are being extremely careful in avoiding the same unpleasant situation with your mom, which keeps happening over and over. The fact that her behavior is making your head and chest hurt is not to be taken lightly

I don't know if you have done this before, but you need to have a serious chat with your mom. You must explain to her the stress she is causing you each time she does the yelling and screaming because of her indecision. If she continues, she may be having underlying issues and need professional help. Encourage her to have her doctor look into what may be causing her to be that way, and refer her to the right type of doctor who should be able to help.

If nothing mentioned here works out, last resort is to give whatever she sent you to get to her as soon as you return and then go to your room, close the door and put some music on, or leave the house immediately and go for a walk. You have to let her get the message somehow, that what she is doing is really affecting you.

I hope you will both get this situation resolved and have a more pleasant relationship. All the best!

jenj770 11-26-2010 05:15 AM

Re: My mom placing blame on me.
or else ... if she is constantly not pleased with what you buy you could suggest she buy these items herself and then you will no longer be participating in the drama. It takes two to have conflict. If you remove yourself she will have to deal with her problems. And maybe your lesson IS to step back and stop accommodating her when she treats you this way.

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