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I'm a newbie needing support.

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Old 12-21-2012, 06:30 PM   #1
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I'm a newbie needing support.

Hello, everyone. I hope you all are getting ready for Christmas. However if you are like me, you have had Christmas's or having one now, where you're stressed out or in too much pain to enjoy it. but I hope you have a good one anyhow. I have an 18 yr. old son, who came down to live with us about three months ago. He was living with his father in another state. He came here to get off drugs and alcohol. He did, and was doing so great. He has two feet that need surgery on them really bad. We scheduled his surgery and everything, and three days ago, he just up and said a friend was coming to get him and he was going back to where he lived. He started drinking and using because he was depressed. He was sworn into the Marines and was about to go to boot camp, and got a letter saying he was medically discharged due to his feet. That was what he wanted his career to be, and had planned on this for three yrs. Not that turning to alcohol and drugs was the right thing to do though. Now I'm bewildered and depressed, because for once in a long while, I was going to have all three of my boys together for Christmas. A lonely heart needing some compassion. Thanks for listening.

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Phoenix (12-22-2012)
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Old 12-22-2012, 03:00 PM   #2
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Re: I'm a newbie needing support.

Hello iveygirl and welcome.

Please know that you had nothing to do with his desire to return with his father.
At this point in his life,he's conflicted and until he initiates resolve by truly realizing that he has a problem and is willing to do something constructive about it,chances are,it will remain this way.
I'm not going to say that I know what you're going through but I can only imagine how my parents viewed me around the holidays.
Unconditional love on one hand with tough love on the other.

I wonder if he left because he didn't want to cause any embarrassment for you or his brothers during the holiday season.
A wounded bird will only stay in your house,if it feels comfortable.If it senses the least bit of objection to it being there or feels out of its' element,it will try earnestly to leave.

Please know that I feel for you;truly.
Unfortunately the path that he chose to travel must be done alone.Hopefully along the route,he will become enlightened enough to see the vicious cycle,which effects more than just him.
I pray that he eventually sees this.

Respectfully stated during the holiday season
When in doubt, post it out.

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sweetpotato13 (12-23-2012)
Old 12-22-2012, 05:02 PM   #3
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Re: I'm a newbie needing support.

Hugs to you, Ivey. Great post, Phoenix!

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