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Mother had stroke Father can't accept it

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Old 09-03-2006, 06:38 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1
sonoto HB User
Mother had stroke Father can't accept it

Mother had stroke 3 months ago. She is not paralyzed can walk. Some trouble with bladder control. Her short term memory is gone. When she goes to the bathroom you have to coax her to get up. My father brought her home and now cannot deal with it. He is very depressed. The doctor gave her medicine for her mind and he thinks it will work!!! I have my doubts. He has help 2days a week and 2 Saturdays a month. She gives him more trouble than when the kids deal with her and I think it is because of his attitude. She likes to see his reaction. He wants things to be like they were before the stroke and they will never be the same. Towards what some people have to deal with I think we have to be thankful for what she has gained back. Both are 78 yrs. old, Dad is in fairly good health.

Last edited by sonoto; 09-03-2006 at 07:09 AM.

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Old 09-07-2006, 04:46 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,020
last1 HB User
Re: Mother had stroke Father can't accept it

This is typically a normal, but very difficult reaction. I have worked with stroke patient's for the past twenty years and I refer to this as "creating a 'new normal'". For example, this will never be normal in the old sense ever again. There will be references to "life before the stroke" and "life after the stroke." However, while these are relatively easy concept for us to understand when we're not the one in the middle of the tornado, it is extremely difficult for people to accept who are dealing with these issues on a daily basis, who have wonderful memories in which they retreat, and thoughtful and beautiful times that they can recall.

I know this is so difficult for you and your siblings but you may want to go on-line and contact either the National Stroke Association or the American Heart Association and see if they have stroke support groups in your area in which you can get your father involved. I know, he may be the kind of man that will never open up to other people and he may not have to. He just needs to see that there are others going through the same thing he is. He may eventually find someone with whom he can begin to talk about these things, a guy who is experiencing the same losses as is your dad. This may be a good start. chris

Old 11-02-2006, 11:45 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Woodmere, New York, USA
Posts: 6
kackyk HB User
Re: Mother had stroke Father can't accept it

I can fully understand how your father feels....My husband had a hemmorhagic stroke of the right frontal lobe in 2004 at age 67 and I too am having a difficult time accepting....I'm depressed and anxiety ridden and can't sleep....In reading advice to you, I will go to the stroke association website and attempt to connect there.....sounds like a good idea....Your father is certainly mourning for the wife he once had and for the life they once led....Good luck to them and to you.....

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