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I am so scared!!!!

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Old 12-14-2007, 07:25 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Temple Terrace, FL, USA
Posts: 3
Peg54 HB User
I am so scared!!!!

I just began posting tonight. My 83 year old dad had a bleeding stroke one week and one day ago. He was alittle responsive the first night and then unresponsive until last night. He turned his head towards my voice and squeezed my mom's hand after she placed hers in it. Other than that - no response. They have been treating him for pneumonia, urinary tract and blood infections. Those symptoms appear to be better. He has heart disease, dementia, diabetes II for quite a while. My 80 year old mom has been his caretaker many years. He is a very prideful man and was getting very discouraged with not being able to do the things he used to do. He also can be pretty stubborn. He would not use a cane, walker, etc. and fell quite a bit due to weak legs. He could have a wonderful conversation with you, but forget quickly. He prepared a Living Will in 1991 one month after my brother died of cancer. After one week, the doctor says his brain is still bleeding, he is paralyzed on the right side of his body among other factors I do not even know about. The doctor told my mom after reading my dad's Living Will that he saw no signs of recovery and my dad will be going to Hospice. I am so afraid. My dad would not want to be this way. What will Hospice do? Has anyone had this type of issue? In the back of my head I just wonder if he would ever get better. But I also know that he would not want to live like this. This is so hard!!

Last edited by Peg54; 12-14-2007 at 07:51 PM.

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Old 12-17-2007, 10:35 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: wpg, mb, canada
Posts: 5
fireplaceguru HB User
Re: I am so scared!!!!

This reply is not meant to scare you but maybe prepare you as to what may happen, remember miracles do happen and your Dad may improve greatly.
My Dad had a massive stroke of the left side of the brain, he was also unresponsive of us and his surroundings. The doctors told us that there would be no or little improvement. The doctors were pretty close to being right on this one as did not improve greatly. Since he lost the use of his speech, swallow reflex and right side of his body it was very hard on him since he was a very indepent person and now he required care all the time.
I truly beleive my dad understood what happened and I truly beleive he knew us even though he could not show us. He began to improve slightly by smiling and putting out his hand to us and he would try to talk to everyone but nothing came out clear. He survived for as long as he could but finally he just gave up as he was in pain.
I truly feel your fear as to the unknown just be there for your Dad and show him your Love.
Be Strong Peg54.

Old 12-18-2007, 02:06 PM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: charlote NC USA
Posts: 25
sueinge HB User
Re: I am so scared!!!!

Almost one year ago my dad had a stroke that was a bleed in the left temporal lobe. He was 65 at the time. He was in decent health before but had high blood pressure and drank a lot. Right after the stroke he was very unresponsive and it was extremely difficult to see my sweet dad not even know who I was. He couldn't use his right side and he didn't know what everyday objects were (spoon, pen, toothbrush,etc). He could talk and answer yes or no questions but he never responded appropriately. It was very much a waiting game as the doctors told us he wouldn't start to improve until the bleeding was absorbed back into his system. They described it as a very large bruise, and whatever area of the brain was covered by the bleed was being affected. In my dad's case it was his speech and he developed something called aphasia. This means that he has trouble processing and words come out different from what he intends to say. I wanted to give you some hope. After almost a year he has made so much progress. I am wondering why they have given your dad no hope and have called in hospice? Do they feel his health in general is failing too? I am so sorry that you are going thru this, I know first hand how awful strokes are. I used to think strokes were just something that old people suffered from and recovered, I had no idea the debilitating effects and how awful it is for those around the stroke victim. It has been such a hard year but I can honestly say that you shouldn't give up just because the doctors are saying there is no hope. I wish I could help you more but I wanted to respond to your post and I truly hope that your dad gets better.

Old 07-14-2008, 02:29 PM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: mckeesport pa usa
Posts: 19
xanaxqueen HB User
Re: I am so scared!!!!

my father had a stroke leaving him paralyzed totally on his left side, his thinking is blurred also, yet he is a smart guy, yet his age is against him, he turned 83 last month. he goes to rehab, (they have no clue of what the hell they're doing) and he always tells me he wants to die, not be wheelchair bound. i just got him on this audio book thing, its free, i'm from PA, anyhow, i'm thinking that if he could listen to a book, it would get his mind active again.....he's just losing all hope and i'm trying so hard to keep his hope up.
i feel for you, it's been about 4 months since that awful night that my dad stroked out.

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