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Old 01-20-2013, 10:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: dallas,tx
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sofia39 HB User

I had srocke a year ago i am trying my best to regain my indpendent, do stafFfor myself rather than asking my husband to do everything for me. I try to make life as normal as possiable for him. i try to cook, clean and try to go back to work. I have no support system once of ever. Just me and God I figured that is all I need, I can do anything through Crise. My husband was ver supporive the first 3 to 4 months after that I guess he got burned out. He said, if I need anything just to ask him, but that is very hard for me to ask because I don t want to be burden to him. So I do everything on my own the best I can as you all know its a struggle. What realy bother me now that when he gets home from work, he saying be happy ,smile. I crunch because it has been a challeng to me what i am going through physically and mentely. HOW CAN I BE IN A GOOD MOOD FOR HIM OR SMILE AND BE HAPPY. how can i??? too much!! i love him but i don t think he understand what i am going through. I i am trying

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Old 01-20-2013, 04:13 PM   #2
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Re: understanding

Hi Sofie and welcome
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is very hard going through stroke recovery and family and friends do not understand. It is not their fault because unless you go through it you really dont understand it. Thats why it is good you found the stroke board. You can come here and find lots of people who understand.
Our caregivers can get worn out and worried out. Its hard for them to understand that what we are going through doesnt just go away after a certain length of time. the process of recovering is slow and steady moving forward with determination. A common thread is feeling the way you described. You are not alone, we can all realate. It seems you have a lot on your plate. I know by the end of the day we are done, taxed and really have no energy left. Especially if we are doing a lot of work to heal and improve. You are working too and that is very hard and energy demanding.
I hope you will continue to post here many people will have great advice and we have big shoulders and big ears so rant away.
God Bless Mulchie

Old 01-21-2013, 02:58 PM   #3
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Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
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Re: understanding

Don't worry. The greatest thing you can have is life. You choose how you want to be remembered. The brain went through a horrible attack. No one can understand unless they experience it. We wish that on no one. I know when someone now asks how I'm doing I answer okay. Simply because I know they don't want the true story. I have learned to be happy and thankful for what I have not what I don't. I'm so glad your here because the friends you make here will understand. They will help you when you need it. I'm just stating that we as individuals have to be strong for ourselves as well as for our families. The family has no idea what we have gone through. You take care and Gods blessings.

Last edited by guyp; 01-21-2013 at 03:00 PM.

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Old 01-25-2013, 10:12 AM   #4
cactus al
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: chula vista ca usa
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Re: understanding

Good morning sofie

I just want you know how impressive you are, a stroke a year ago and you have accomplished amazing top it off going back to work. I find you inspiring.
My wife is my caregiver and I feel the joy of her assisting me. I sometimes feel she has so many other house tasks to take care of, we must look at the situation if reversed and it was that for me five years ago my wife was diagnosed with three cancers at the same time.
I was devastated but with prayer family I said this is not going to deprive me of my caring wife. She is fine now and keeping all followup drs appointments. Sophie we encounter events that are unforeseen . Your husband may just be scared. We all react to a life threating encounter.

Now that I have suffered my stroke which came as a big big surprise, the people on this web site are so supportive and have for most part are very understanding please ask questions we all try to understand any question or feelings

Well sofie I applaud you for your efforts

Attitude enthusiasm

Allen. Aka cactus al

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Old 03-31-2013, 10:44 AM   #5
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Location: Indiana, USA
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Re: understanding

Hi Sofie,

I understand how frustrating is to need so much help, but then asking for it. I have similar issue because my brain injury isn't as obvious as a broken arm. Out of sight (as long as I don't talk) out of mind. I struggle with the daily question of, "How are you today," I want to tell them the same as yesterday but I don't. I always say getting a little stronger every day. I am thinking of hiring someone to come in and help, but I don't know yet. Good luck Sophie and I hope things have improved for you this past year (I noticed the date of the original post was Feb 2012).


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