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My sons birthday was yesterday

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Old 04-11-2009, 09:49 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Kelowna b.c. canada
Posts: 2
Sunshyne91 HB User
My sons birthday was yesterday

I am new to this, but I wanted to share with people who could understand how I feel. My son would have been 18 years old yesterday if he had not died of SIDS. I still take it very hard every year, and it does not feel like 18 years have gone by- it still feels so much sooner than that. I wonder often if it is because I never had any more children after he died, he was my first and only child, and I loved him so much, he was my world, not a day goes by that I do not think about him and what he might be like today at 18! I am saddened when people judge me and tell me that it should have gotten easier with time, it has gotten easier to live without him, but the pain is still there on special occasions. I still talk to him like he is my guardian angel, and I still feel like a piece of me is missing and always will be. I know it has been a long time, but the pain is still so fresh on his birthdays, I get so sad and a little angry when I am the only person who even remembers his birthday anymore- I just do not want him to be forgotten. Sunshyne91

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Old 05-14-2009, 01:29 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: US
Posts: 644
Re: My sons birthday was yesterday

I wish I had seen this thread last month...
I'm so sorry for the pain you were feeling when you wrote this thread. I don't think that you should be 'over' your son's death. You will never be 'over' his death till the day you take your last breath. I think our society is so uncomfortable with grief...but when you're walking through it, you know that you will never be done with it.
I lost my daughter April 5, 2008 to SIDS. She was five weeks old. It's been a little over a year now, and each day is a struggle. Most of my energy is spent just getting through the days. In February, she would have been a year old. On what would have been her first birthday, I delivered her baby brother. He is my fifth baby (including Arianna)...and my grief is no different than yours. It hurts to the core...every fibre of my being is screaming in pain. My heart aches for her, my arms ache to hold her, my ears ache to hear her...I could go on forever. With that being said...I guess it's not easier no matter what side of the fence you're on--just give yourself credit for surviving such a tragic loss. Let yourself grieve the way you need matter how many years it's been. I truly believe that there is no greater loss than to lose a matter how, or how old that child was. It's so un-natural...the order is all wrong...parent's shouldn't have to burry their children. And I understand how important it is to keep his memory alive. 18 years doesn't take that away! You give me hope that in 18 years, I'll still be here, still surviving, although, still missing my baby. Thank you.((((Hugs))))....hope things are a little easier for you now.

Last edited by NVD; 05-14-2009 at 01:31 AM.

Old 01-16-2010, 08:53 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mo.
Posts: 132
her70cuda HB User
Re: My sons birthday was yesterday

I lost my child in 1991. It still hurts.

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