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  • how reliable is body language?

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    Old 04-26-2009, 05:55 PM   #1
    CKL
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    how reliable is body language?

    Just trying to figure out this guy and if he is flirting with me...we talk a lot but conversations have not veered into anything sexual or romantic, but I definitely get a "vibe" from him, he stands close to me, touches my arm, seems to seek me out in group situations, asks me a lot about myself, etc. etc. Can I assume if I'm feeling that vibe from him and getting the body language cues that he's attracted to me or could I just be way off base? Maybe he's like this with everyone...

     
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    Old 04-26-2009, 06:21 PM   #2
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    If you see him in group situations, then you can observe to see if he is treating everybody the same. Body language is an important part of communication, but it can also be misleading, as it is very easy to fake. Enjoy the vibes, but wait for a verbal signal. Sera.

     
    Old 04-26-2009, 06:29 PM   #3
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    Yeah, I think the fact that he's like this with everyone is your biggest clue. Be warm and friendly and like Sera said, wait for a verbal cue. When a man is really into you, he lets you know it without question.

     
    Old 04-26-2009, 06:44 PM   #4
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    the only way you will know is to observe him with other people.....

    some body language may be able to be faked, sure, if you know what you're doing, but not all can....for instance, you can usually tell a real smile from a fake one, but in the instance of wanting to appear interested and open the body can be adjusted to that, just like if you want to appear closed minded or opposed to something you can cross your arms. no one would know that was faking, that would kinda be manipulation, but I'm sure there are people who work it......but it's not as easy to fake a genuine smile. You look at the eyes, and also how quick the mouth moves back to it's original position. Also look at the pupils. If someone is really into you their pupils will be big. It's an unconcious reaction the body has....when it see's something it likes it opens the pupils up wide to take more of it in.

     
    Old 04-27-2009, 07:16 AM   #5
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    I find it to be fairly reliable, especially when you are young people. Older people have more resources to fake it. You might want to read a book on body language, that is, if you have the time, but from your description, there is something going on here. Now, what about the body language you are emitting yourself? Are you also signalling that you are interested in him? Yet, men usually have more difficulty picking up those signals than women. Try to be more objective.

     
    Old 04-27-2009, 08:32 AM   #6
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    I think he's into you,
    if he touches you on your arm sure that maybe just to let you know he's there, now if he moves up to your shoulder put his hand on your shoulder then thats your answer, if you don't move away or telll him not to touch you then he knows that your ok with it.

    he singles you out in a group right?
    some men don't let you know there into you until there sure about you the way you are about first meeting a man.
    he picks you for some reason, thats the way ''most'' men are... trying to keep it slow and move slowly, he's probably waiting for your reaction without embarressment.
    If you seem to like this guy why don't you just make small talk, maybe ask him to join you for lunch, or maybe say I sure hope theres not a world wide epidemic with this swine flu going around.

    In my opinion he's into you....question is are you into him?
    Maybe the start of a wonderful realtionship!

     
    Old 04-27-2009, 12:58 PM   #7
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    Thanks all...glad to see that the male perspective seems to be that he's into me But also good point that I need to observe him around others to see if he's that way with everyone. I have been with him in group situations and he's definitely friendly with everyone...I'd say the differences I've noticed are that he's a little more jokey/teasing with me than with others, singles me out more and we end up talking for longer than with other people. Haven't really noticed how he is physically with others.

    Good question re: what signals I've been giving him. Probably not much in the way of physical body language other than eye contact, glances, etc. That's part of the reason I'm trying to determine what he's thinking...I don't want to give signals and then feel like a fool if he's not interested!

     
    Old 04-27-2009, 01:10 PM   #8
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    When I was a lot younger, there was a manager at my work who was so cool with all the female employees, joking, laughing, talking...and with me, he made fun of me for being short, he made fun of my curly hair, he ordered me to try to lift heavy things because he knew I couldn't, he made fun of me for being skinny...I would go home and cry, thinking this guy hated me and wondered why he liked everyone but me. On my last day at that job, he asked to walk me to my car, and when we got there, he told me that he'd wanted to get to know me better all summer long, and that he wished he'd asked me out, and that he was jealous because he thought I had a crush on another guy. Go figure! I thought adults were supposed to be past the hair pulling, bra snapping phase, but I guess not.

    So the signals can be confusing, I had no idea this guy liked me. I thought he hated me! Since you both are adults, hopefully this guy will be more upfront with you!

     
    Old 04-27-2009, 01:21 PM   #9
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    As a dude, he's romantically interested in you from what you tell us here. He seems like a guy that is a little shy and not sure of your reaction. It is SO hard for us guys because we have to put ourselves out there and take all the risk.

    If you want an answer to your question and your interested in him ask him out to coffee or lunch, just the two of you. Take some of the pressure off him by giving cues your interested if you are.

    Last edited by BCboy; 04-27-2009 at 01:22 PM.

     
    Old 04-28-2009, 09:05 AM   #10
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    I don't know if I have the courage to ask him to coffee or lunch at this point. What are some other cues I can give to encourage him? Guys - what do women do that drives you crazy (in a good way)? Ladies - what have you done that has worked?? Thanks!

     
    Old 04-28-2009, 09:11 AM   #11
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    smile at him, maybe give him a donut or some chocolate.....
    chocolate gets em every time.....LOL
    ask him questions about himself, it's probably his favorite subject.....
    guys just love to talk about themselves (rolling eyes)

     
    Old 04-28-2009, 09:13 AM   #12
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Hollaatchaboy View Post
    As a dude, he's romantically interested in you from what you tell us here. He seems like a guy that is a little shy and not sure of your reaction. It is SO hard for us guys because we have to put ourselves out there and take all the risk.

    If you want an answer to your question and your interested in him ask him out to coffee or lunch, just the two of you. Take some of the pressure off him by giving cues your interested if you are.


    So thats how that works huh?....LOL....

     
    Old 05-02-2009, 09:42 PM   #13
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    this post is confusing to me in that: you have not stated is YOU are interested in HIM? If you are, then give him some sign that you are, or he will probably give up trying. it takes 2, give the poor guy some sort of retort, either let him knowthat you are not interested and he can move on, or that you are interested and go on a date. my 2 cents

     
    Old 05-10-2009, 08:41 AM   #14
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    Update if anyone is interested...the past couple of times we've talked one on one he brought up sex in kind of an indirect way, nothing about US having sex but either joking or in a story. I was taken aback, wondering if I should take this as a sign that he wants to take it to another level?? BUT at the same time I've noticed that when there is a group discussion we don't really look or talk to one another directly during that discussion. I could either interpret this as a) he's not really that interested in me but will chat and toy with me when it's one-on-one or b) he acts differently toward me around others b/c of his feelings. Obviously I'd prefer b, but maybe it's a stretch...what do you think??

     
    Old 05-10-2009, 10:48 AM   #15
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    Re: how reliable is body language?

    A guy who has "feelings" for you or is interested in actually dating wouldn't bring up sex. Sounds like he's interested in...sex.

    I'd give him a pass. If this is his way of expressing true interest, he's very bad at it. And if he's just wanting some booty...you know how that would end up!

    Last edited by Redneon82; 05-10-2009 at 10:48 AM.

     
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