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  • What to do with HS girlfriend when going to College

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    Old 02-24-2002, 10:11 AM   #1
    GTA4
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    Question What to do with HS girlfriend when going to College

    Alright here is my problem....I am currently 18 and a senior in High School. In the beginning of this year i sorta told myself to try and not get involved to seriously with any girls because i knew it would be too difficult leaving them when it came time to go off to college. I've had a few girlfriends through highschool and have hooked up with a bunch of other girls but i've never really liked any of them too much. Anyways...come this past november i was at a family friedns house who happens to be my age. I met a friedn of hers there who i wasimmediatly attracted to...i started talking to to her on the phone and soon thereafter i hooked up with her and to make a long story short, after about a month i start going out with her.
    SO its been about three months now, and i know it is not really that long but i feel like ive been with her for 2 years. I am so in love with her that i dont know what to do. It's like we were made for eachother. And i am sure that she feels the same way. This is seriously the happiest i have ever been in my entire life.
    The only problem is that in about six months we are both going to be going off to different schools. I know i know, it is really far away and a lot can happen before then, but there is no way i see us breaking up. It kills me to think about it because i love her so much and i am afraid to get any closer to her than i already am. We started talking about this last night and i had to stop the conversation because i almost started crying. And i am really not the type of guy who crys.
    Basically what i am asking, is if any of you have any advice of how i should handle this or how i can make it work when we leave in August. It would be especially great if anyone that has gone thorugh any similar situations could tell me how they handled it. I know that it wont be able to stay the way it is now, but i really dont want to throw everything away. Thanks in advance for your help.


     
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    Old 02-24-2002, 04:28 PM   #2
    s0beautiful
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    how far apart will you be? is it like, across the country or a couple of hours? if you truly love each other like you say you do, it will work out. when i left for college, my boyfriend at the time and i thought we were in love, but it turns out we weren't. we ended up breaking up cuz it wasn't right for us. but my current boyfriend, whom i 've been w for 2 + years (and we live together now) the first 5 months of our relationship was long distance, and it worked fine. it's not something people can really give you advice on, except (as stupid as it sounds ) follow your heart. college is a whole new exciting experience, and you may realize once you get there that she isn't what you want at this point in your life, or you may realize that she is. it really just depends on how you guys really feel about each other. sorry i couldn't be more help, and let us know how it goes allie

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    Old 02-24-2002, 08:28 PM   #3
    Kate99
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    I'm a senior this year too, and I've been with my boyfriend, who is also a senior, for over two years now. I am truly in love with him, and he is with me also. I have no doubt about that. But, yes, next year will be a challenge.

    I pretty much know what school I'm going to, although he doesn't really know yet. But the farthest apart we would be is about 3 hours, by car. I have definitely thought a lot about it lately, but I'm kind of coming to realize that the more I think about it, the worse it gets.

    I don't know what will happen next year -- nobody can predict the future. I don't know who I'll meet, or who he'll meet. But I do know that we have something really special, and we both are going to try to make it work.

    My mom, who doesn't like the idea that I'm in a long term relationship, keeps saying that next year I need to leave myself open to guys, and date, and be free. But, how do I explain to her that I don't feel the need to date? That this is the person who, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if I spend the rest of my life with.

    You are in a similar situation to me. So my advice to you is to go with your gut. You said yourself that you've dated other girls, but you are madly in love with this one, and it's different with her.

    Only you truly know how you feel. If you think she is really special, then, by all means, try to make it work. Because you'll never regret at least trying. You could regret not trying, and losing the girl of your dreams.

     
    Old 02-24-2002, 10:28 PM   #4
    foosballfan
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    I have to agree with some of what has been said already. It depends on how far apart you'll be , for one. I realize that you are deeply in love and that is great, but my personal opinion, which is not worth anything, btw, is that people go to college to experience different things and meet different people and that during at least part of that time you should be single and live life.
    I realize that's not what you want to hear but it is the best thing to do. If you go through college chained down like I've seen so many people do, you later regret it when you're in your 20s and married and have a job and can't go out every night.
    My advice is to try the relationship for a few months when you start college if you're still together at that point, and if it obviously isn't working, go on and end it.
    My personal experience is that long distance relationships usually don't work out very well especially in college. It just ends up making you miss out on so much .

     
    Old 02-24-2002, 11:48 PM   #5
    georgiegirl
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    Back when I started college, I was dating a guy who was a senior in high school. We started dating right after I graduated from high school. We thought we were in love, and even though we had talked about how we might break up, I still thought we'd stay together. Well, I started college in August and we were broken up by September. He broke up with me because he wanted to enjoy his senior year. And we were only 20 minutes apart. I was heartbroken at first, but in the end, I really enjoyed being on my own and being able to go out and not be tied down to a boyfriend. I ended up meeting my future husband!

    I know that is probably not what you want to hear, but I've seen very few high school romances survive. Good luck!

     
    Old 02-25-2002, 03:38 PM   #6
    GTA4
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    Thanks for your help guys...I guess i just have to wait and let everything play out. It just really irks me because it stops me from looking foward in the relationship and all. Kate i know exactly what you are saying, the other day out of nowhere my mom starts telling me that i should break up with her when i go to college. I dont think she likes that i am in such a serious relationship either.

     
    Old 02-28-2002, 12:45 PM   #7
    kiwie
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    I totally understand what you're talking about. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now, and while i'm still in high school, he already graduated and is going to the army in august, for 3.5 years. Though maybe the distance won't be that long (here in Israel even the longest distance is considered small compared to other countries), but he will be able to come home only about once in two weeks for the weekend, and assuming he would want to spend some time with his family and friends, i won't be able to see him as much..We talked about it a few times, and neither of us wants to break up, we love each other very much, but just the thought of him being far away from me makes me wanna cry. So basically i'd like to know how to deal with this situation too, so it would be easier for both of us. I know for sure that i don't want to ruin what we've got just because of the distance, but neither of us can actually know what may happen in our lives during this time. I guess the only thing that's left is just wait, and see how the relationship goes.
    I wish you and everybody else who's going through the same experience lots of luck and all the best.

     
    Old 02-28-2002, 07:54 PM   #8
    GTA4
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    Where in Israel are you from. I spent last summer there and fell in love with the country. If i'm not mistaken dont woman need to serve in the army too? Unless you are more than a year younger than him, you will be in teh army soon too. Wouldnt you be able to request being stationed near him? I dont know if this works out in reality but i hope i helped.

     
    Old 03-01-2002, 03:24 AM   #9
    kiwie
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    I live in Haifa, it's about 90 km. north to Tel-Aviv. It's nice to hear that you liked the country, not many people actually consider visiting Israel these days (not that i blame them...)
    Girls serve in the army too, but only for 2 years, and i'm 1.5 years younger then my bf, so my service begins in july 2003. I've never thought about the idea of requesting a transfer to somewhere closer to him, i guess it can work out, but the chances are not big, because it all depends on the army needs and on your job there. Anyway it leaves one year between our drafts, but i think that once you're adjusted to the situation it gets easier.
    I have a friend whose bf lives almost on the other side of the country (200 km. from her), and they've been together for a long time now and have a great relationship.

     
    Old 05-09-2002, 01:14 PM   #10
    goth_vamp
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    This is what I'm facing. I live in London and my boyfriend and I are at college doing further education. Next year my boyfriend is going to university and I'm dreading it. But when we first got together me and my boyfriend made a pact. As we knew uni and stuff was going to be an issue for us if the relationship turned long-term, we promised each other that we'd never let our relationship get in the way of our futures. He wants to go uni and become a scientist and do research for juvenile cancer and diabetes. I would never dream of getting in way of my boyfriend's dreams for his future. Although it will upset us both very much to part temporarily, I know that our relationship can survive, coz it's strong. I know that if your relationship is strong and you love each other, yours can too.
    Good Luck
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    Old 05-09-2002, 09:51 PM   #11
    spreadslikefire
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    your right, six months is far away. my best advice to you is to just keep going out with her until the end of the year. if its time to go to college and you two still are really in love then it shouldnt be a problem. if not, then i recommend breaking up on good terms. its the only way to go.

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    Old 05-14-2002, 05:57 PM   #12
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    i've had relationships that have dealt with long distance.. well more like in the other side of the country. it was pretty tough bec. i was still starting @ college & he was working so my schooling kept me away from my usual activities. it was really hard and my phone bills went up high .. lol. well this was long ago.. i'm not with that guy anymore due to the distance and i was somewhat "immature". now i'm with someone who's 15 mins away from campus and an hour and a half away from home... so it's not that bad. it will be hard tho once i graduate bec. he'll still be in school =/ but we're both adults now so that's a whole diff. path =)

     
    Old 05-16-2002, 02:05 PM   #13
    floridababe
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    hey i say go to the same college! my bro is a year/grade older than his gf & even they worked it out. his first yr of college he went to our citys college, then the 2nd year they both went off together!

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    Old 04-03-2005, 04:41 PM   #14
    mikeymike24
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    Re: What to do with HS girlfriend when going to College

    I am a high school senior. I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over two months now. We are very much in love and we cannot see ourselves without each other. After this summer, we are going to be going to different colleges. We are going to be about 3 and a half hours apart from each other. We are both very aware of how hard a long distance relationship is but we are both very willing to make this work. I was just wondering if we are fighting a losing battle? However, if this could possibly work, what are some things we can do to make it easier and less painful?

     
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