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  • His parents driving me MAD!!! I am SO IRRITATED!!!

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    Old 05-08-2002, 02:32 PM   #1
    Join Date: Feb 2002
    Location: Broxbourne, herts, uk
    Posts: 57
    goth_vamp HB User
    Post His parents driving me MAD!!! I am SO IRRITATED!!!

    When I first started seeing my boyfriend in August 2001 his parents seemed to be a little too involved in our relationship for my liking. I let it go, as I thought it'd get better over time. Nine months later it has not gotten better, but has got worse. His parents interfere in every possible aspect of our relationship. His mum screws at me for wearing his clothes and gives me evil looks when I kiss him in front of her. His dad gets annoyed when he stays round at my house coz he thinks my boyfriend doesn't eat properly when he's here. This I can understand, as my boyfriend is diabetic. But since he is almost 19 and has been diabetic for 5 years, I'm convinced that he is perfectly capeable of looking after this aspect of his health quite adequatly without daddy's asistance. Furthermore, when I try to discuss this situation and how I feel about it with my boyfriend, he just gets angry and proceedes to starts a row with me and/or laugh at me for getting upset. It's an issue that's been upsetting me quite a lot recently and am on the verge of considering breaking up with my boyfriend over this. It's my powerlessness that irritates me about this whole situation, as short of telling his parents exactly where they can stick their nosiness regarding my relationship with their son, there is ABOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I don't WANT to break up with my boyfriend over this, but his parents are getting to me SO much, and if he is unwilling to talk about this situation rationally, what else can I do??? I love my boyfriend lots and have never felt like this about anyone, and I am beginning to resent his parents for what they're doing. I have stopped going to see my boyfriend at his house, as I don't want the hassle of having his parents scrutinize us, or more pointedly, ME.
    My bloke says that he has to listen to his parents, and I reply that it's got F.A. to do with them who he goes out with, as he's over 18. He just gets really annopyed and starts shouting at me. It's a really sensitive subject, as he respects and honours his father to the point of obession, and won't here more than two strung words against him. I'm beginning to get to the end of my tether. Any ddvice would be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.



    Don't dream the dream, be the dream....

    [This message has been edited by goth_vamp (edited 05-08-2002).]

    [This message has been edited by goth_vamp (edited 05-08-2002).]

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    Old 05-08-2002, 10:15 PM   #2
    spreadslikefire's Avatar
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    hmm well thats always a hard thing to work out. i think that you should tell him exactly how you feel. something along the lines of 'please just listen to me before you say anything, i know you dont like it when i talk about your parents but it is really getting to be too much for me. if things dont change i think we might have to break up. eventhough you think its not an issue and im over reacting it really bothers me so it IS an issue'...see where its going? also i have a question: your username is goth_vamp...i dont know about your physical appearance it also might be a case of parent discrimiation of non-conservitives. i get that CONSTANTLY. just because i dyed my hair cherry-red, wear lots of black, and think on a higher level them most "adults" ive spoken with parents dont like me....anyways try and work it out!

    ::*::Twiggy's Girl::*::
    ---the green haired freak

    Old 05-08-2002, 11:07 PM   #3
    Join Date: Mar 2002
    Location: Grande Prairie Alberta Canada
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    Hawk HB User

    well I am an outlandish character myself, but in the other way. I wear flamboyant colours like bright orange and yellow and such I get some weird looks too, most parents like me but I think they think im to nice and have ulterior motives. Kinda funny

    I dont know, if hes not prepared to deal rationally about your concerns with his parents perhaps you should give him the choice between listening to you and finding a new girlfriend.

    I dont know how close you are but its best to get those problems dealt with while we're still young rather than wehen we get old and arent prepared for new relationships

    Good Luck

    Old 05-09-2002, 10:11 AM   #4
    Join Date: Feb 2002
    Location: Broxbourne, herts, uk
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    goth_vamp HB User

    Spreadslikefire, thanks for the advice. You said that it "might be a case of parent discrimiation of non-conservitives.". I don't think this is it as my bloke's dad is a biker and has long hair and tattoos and his mum is training to be a homeopathist. I spoke to my boyfriend about it last night. There were lots of tears and he still didn't really understand, but he still kinda listened, but got very stressed.
    The problem however, still exists.

    Don't dream the dream, be the dream....

    Old 05-24-2002, 09:52 AM   #5
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    Join Date: Apr 2002
    Location: Middle Tennessee, USA
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    LittleFlower18 HB User

    I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing or anything so please don't take it that way, but your bf should respect your feelings about the situation and do something about it. I've never been in the situation where I'm scrutinized but my bf's parents are always trying to pressure us into more than I'm ready to handle. Like marriage and children. Keep in mind I'm only 18 and it's a little early for that. It bothers me a lot and I talked to my bf so he sat down and talked to them about it. Things got better. Though they still do it sometimes it's not as bad. I would hate for you to have to break up with him. 9 months is a long time and you form a bond with someone that is very hard to break, but you shouldn't have to deal with what his parents are dishing out. They should respect that you are a part of his life like they are and that you are perfectly capable of taking care of him. He is also old enough now to know how to take care of himself. They should welcome you to be a part of their lives. Good luck. If it's possible, maybe you should talk to them. Just be gentle with the words that you use. It's very easy for adults to take a younger person's words as criticism and disrespect.

    Good luck
    God Bless,

    Old 07-02-2002, 09:14 PM   #6
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    I have been in this situation myself. The parents hated me!!I would simply refuse to go there. His parents can shape up and he can tell them too. If he loves you he will not stand for them treating you like that or stickin their nose where it doesn't belong. Tell him you do not feel welcome there and you don't expect him to do anything cause you don't like going there anyway. Let him know, you do love HIM, but his family is going to have to adapt to your realationship your parents don't act like that toward him, Im sure. Its time to grow up and if hes 19 and still attached to mums cord you need to get out or give him a wake up call!!!!! HuLa
    p.s. This is very common in realationships. Just remember you love him for him not his family. You could always move away!!!

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