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    Old 06-20-2002, 09:20 PM   #1
    Join Date: Feb 2002
    Location: oceanside,ca,usa
    Posts: 66
    StompOnRacism HB User
    Post Why am I so ugly?

    I don't get it. In middle school, all the girls were crazy for me. For the past 2 years, I look like a completely different person. I am so ugly now. I hear girls say "ewww" on a daily basis and point at me and laugh. I am turning into a womanizer. I swear. I can't help it that I am ugly. So what? Should I just wear a bag around my face so all of the beautful people dont have to see me? Its like my face completely changed shape. See, I became a vegan a few years ago and within the first year I became really depressed and stopped eating on a normal basis. I got really thin and now I have gained some weight back, but my face looks weired. I really don't care about the way I look, but it sucks when people treat you diffrently and you have to listen to people whisper about you. Today at the gas station, 2 "pretty" teen girls were laughing as I was pumping gas. I looked at them through the reflection of my car, and they were looking at eachother laughing, shaking their heads in a look of disgust. Then, they both looked right at me again, and put their fingers down their throats... I just want to apologize for being an ugly and worthless person.

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    Old 06-20-2002, 09:49 PM   #2
    Join Date: Jun 2002
    Posts: 9
    baby02nate HB User

    woaaa first of all dont let any one make you feel bad about your self and i promise looks are not everything it what inside that matter .and what you look like shouldnt matter dont let others rude remarks make you bitter all them girls did is show you how ugly they were inside dont look down on your self please.

    Old 06-20-2002, 10:10 PM   #3
    Join Date: Aug 2001
    Location: Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 96
    sikila HB User

    I can't believe people would actually treat someone else like that. Forget pieces of crap like that, sounds like you need some good friends.

    Go join a club or sports on somethin

    Old 06-21-2002, 04:46 AM   #4
    Join Date: Feb 2002
    Posts: 2,942
    sey HB Usersey HB User

    If your body/face has changed so dramatically l think a trip to the doctors may be needed go get a check up incase there is an underlying cause good luck

    Old 06-21-2002, 09:46 AM   #5
    Join Date: Feb 2002
    Location: oceanside,ca,usa
    Posts: 66
    StompOnRacism HB User

    I have plenty of friends... I hang out with them everyday. I am just so full of anger sometimes. I really fear for the safety of others, I get scared that I might snap sometimes.......... Seriously though, I AM becoming a womanizer. I don't want to be, but I can't help it. The other day I told my mom that women are nothing from their waste up...... Pretty harsh huh? Not nearly as bad as the stuff I put up with. Anyways, I guess I am going to grow up to be a lonely pedefile. Since I have no self esteem, I really have lost any desire to meet new people. Its strange.

    Old 06-21-2002, 10:32 AM   #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date: Apr 2002
    Location: Dallas,TX,USA
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    rekam HB User

    Puberty? maybe the girls at the gas station were laughing because they though you were cute. body language tells it all. I'm currently reading Body Language (How to read other's thoughs by their gestures) by Allan Pease - and I'm learning some amazing stuff.

    Old 06-21-2002, 01:12 PM   #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: U.S.
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    AshleeD HB User

    Hey StompOnRacism, how are ya ?

    I have some advice for you, and I hope it helps you as much as I hope it will.

    First of all, I agree strongly with Pskilla. Anyone who is going to be that rude to someone they don't even know isn't worth a passing glance. You're way better then them.

    Secondly, maybe niecsey is right. I doubt that suddenly you just turned ugly. Do you think you could maybe be going through a stage in your life where you just feel ugly? I mean some days I look in the mirror and think "Damn, you look good." Other days I think I look horrible and feel like I'm the ugliest person in the could easily just be a time where your not feeling the greatest about yourself.

    Now...the key to unlock all your anger at the world and to unlock all the bad feelings you have about your looks is this: You have to be comfortable and accept who you are, including what you look like, etc. before you will ever feel right in the world. There are going to be people out there who down right just treat you like crap. Everyone has experienced it's just a part of life. But once you realize how dumb those people'll see how dumb you were to even care that they were being rude to you. I'm sure you've probably heard this, but people who make fun of others whether they are making fun of the way they look or the way they dress, it's because they're insecure about themselves so they think if they put someone else down and get their friends to get involved in making fun of the person, too, then they will feel higher than that person that they are hurting. So whenever someone makes fun of me, I laugh. I mean, hell, I walk through the hallways at school wearing jeans and a tank top and get called a **** and worse names and I just turn around and smile and laugh because I know that they are just jealous.

    Sooo whether you want to believe anything I've written or take it into consideration is your choice, but I believe that what I've said and suggested will easily help you if you just put it to use. I hope that you come to realize you're special, no and, ifs, or buts about it. You're one of a kind and who cares what others think of you. As long as you are comfortable with your own self and realize that it's OK not to be the hottest thing in the world, you'll see how many woman look beyond looks, and that's the truth. Take care and hope you start to feel better.

    Lots of

    [This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-21-2002).]

    [This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 06-21-2002).]
    Lots of Love!

    *Troublesome Trio #1*

    "If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old."
    -Edward W. Howe

    Old 06-22-2002, 07:56 AM   #8
    Join Date: May 2002
    Posts: 14
    SweetMarie HB User

    I almost cried when I read this post. Let me just say those two teenage girls were witches!! I hope all of their hair falls out!! How mean! No wonder there are shootings at schools and everything else today, it's mostly because teens can be so cruel that they push other teens to such extreme desperate measures. We are all different. I am average, nothing great, nothing bad. I wonder if God knew what he was doing when he dished out looks. How come some people have it so bad and others are perfect.? Just doesn't seem fair. But there is nothing we can do about it. Perhaps God has a different plan for you Stomp. In time, you will know what it is. And as the other posters have said, someone will love you one day, no matter what you look like!! Please do not give up hope. It will be okay. Next time girls do that to you, moon them!!!! (just kidding, but it sounded good)

    Old 06-24-2002, 10:37 AM   #9
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    Location: King City, Canada
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    Babernethy HB User

    There are indeed some other underlying problems here...your face can't just change from one shape to another, without problems inside. I have several vegan friends, and they have never had what you describe. A trip to the doctor would be smart. Some people, myself included, were not cut out to be vegetarians, no matter what your thoughts are about animals. I CAN'T be a almost killed me. I need high protein, and can't eat beans.
    Anyway, see a doctor. Start eating better, take supplements, B, C, and A along with some Zinc. See a health store professional for the right amounts for your body size.
    Good luck!

    Old 06-24-2002, 07:42 PM   #10
    Join Date: Mar 2001
    Posts: 386
    EddieDean HB User

    I spent much of my middle and high school years feeling pretty ugly myself....I think most of us do, really. I was always paranoid that people were laughing at me, or whispering about me, and thought that everyone viewed me as a huge dork.

    And you know what? Maybe I was! But I had some great friends, had some great times, and spent time with the people that REALLY mattered to me and who were worth being around. Now that I'm older, I barely remember the bad moments....the good ones have lingered and probably will for the rest of my life.

    As for being paranoid about what people think of you, this is something you will grow out of with time. Even in college I always felt like everyone was looking at me and talking about what a loser I was. What changed my mind was when this totally hot and fantastic guy became my best friend. Then I really DID notice people talking about me (why is he with HER? what is it about HER?) and realized that all the other stuff had just been my imagination. Then, out of the clear blue, he told me that he loved me and that I was the girl he wanted to marry. I had considered myself way too ugly and unattractive for him, and was totally floored. That was enough for me to realize that maybe I wasn't as unappealing as I thought....and ever since, my confidence has grown in strides as I realized that not all things are as they seem.
    There is a very good chance that those girls were flirting with you. Think about it...if you saw a very ugly girl, you would be so uncomfortable that you would totally avoid her, right? People don't just make fun of random people they don't know unless they are trying to attract your attention.
    Your view on women is very unhealthy. Not all women are like the ones you know at school. And, truthfully, you may not be seeing the situation for what it really is. Your negative views about women are stemming from your negative views about yourself. Start giving yourself some are an articulate and attractive young man (I am a vegetarian and love the fact that my boyfriend is, too!) and have a lot to offer the world! In time with the right attitude, this will all pass.

    Old 06-24-2002, 09:06 PM   #11
    jamie thomas
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    jamie thomas HB User

    This is Robert. You guys have no idea how I feel. Lately, I have developed a supreme paronia about everything. I feel like everything I love is dying. I look at my computer, all I see is a wonderful thing getting old and dying. I look at my videocamera, all I see is my beloved hobby aging. I feel like I can't relate to anyone. I am even starting to get sick of my friends. The world is a crock of s*** when it comes down to it. Think about it. I know this message started out as something else, but I have been thinking about stuff. You are born into a crappy world where murder/hate are happening all the time. You go to school to get a job. You get a job to support yourself and pay taxes. You die. It seems like I worry about this all the time lately. I wish I could stop thinking like this, I can't. I think I am so lonely that I just have lost any desire to talk to people. I have friends, and I think they care about me, but I feel like they are below my thinking level. I can't talk to them about anything serious. It sucks. I do well in school and I have alot going for me, but Im starting to wonder what the point is. If I am such a bad person that people need to laugh at me for no reason, than why do I even care about reaching my goals. Money isn't going to make me happy, I think I have to many problems. I think my problem is that I see the world much too clearly... I am just rambling.

    I guess I will have to find other ways to deal with my problems for now on....

    [This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 06-25-2002).]

    Old 06-24-2002, 11:09 PM   #12
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    Icedout2082 HB User
    Red face

    First of all, you shouldnt worry about what people think about you. Most people are paranoi about people thinking people think poorly of them because the think people make fun of them. This makes the situation worse for you. Just calm down and look at what accomplishments and act as if everyone appreciates you. I was in your same position, and this works for me
    Bryan (Info on Acne)

    Old 06-25-2002, 07:14 AM   #13
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    hot_blooded HB User

    I have similar thoughts, but over the last year or so I have come to realize that there is so much more to life then working, and paying taxes, and then dying. Life is not easy. You can't expect it to be wonderful all the time- if you do, you are in for major disappointment. Bad things happen- crime, death. Pardon the cliché, but every cloud has a silver lining. I have discovered that the pursuit of life that you defined is not as terribly and seemingly pointless as you think it is. I realized that school, for one thing, is a wonderful thing. I learned to love learning. Try and cast aside all the pressure that school places upon you for a little while. Don't do any homework or assignments just go to school and learn. Listen to everything your teachers say and absorb it. Then come home and think about it. soon youll find that youll wanna do your hoemwork and assignments because education is actually very satisfying. Once youve finished with your education, youll enter into the working world. If you do something that you love, your life will be good. Figure out what you love from your schooling and pursue that in life. THEN! THE BEST PART! You can enjoy life. Don't spend every moment working, even now, don't waste your time in front of a television. Get out, meet people, and enjoy everything that life has to offer, LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, etc. It may take some time but if you try and are willing to do this, it will happen. For example, in my profile is my email address, I want you to email me and tell me how its going....there, see? You just made a new friend.

    [This message has been edited by hot_blooded (edited 06-25-2002).]

    Old 06-25-2002, 07:49 PM   #14
    Join Date: Apr 2002
    Location: Pennsylvania
    Posts: 107
    Dawn1973 HB User

    I got so sad reading your post. I think you should tell your parents you are feeling down and go to see your doc. it sounds to me like you are severely depressed. There are medications that can make you feel so much better. I know this because I am taking one. I have felt so much better since taking the pills. Please please please hang in there. It will all be better soon. Please ask to see your doc.
    Good Luck,

    Old 06-27-2002, 10:28 AM   #15
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    MeiRenInside HB User

    Robert, reading your posts, you sound just like me. How old are you? I'm 19 and getting better but I have the worst self esteem.... I've gotten really good at hiding it however. Took years. I'm still semi anti-social and a little on the cynical side, but I've started taking risks (meaning opening up and talking to people who I before thought would only laugh at me for trying) and it's really helped me. I still run into the occasional *** who feels they need to make themselves feel better by making others feel worse but I've learned to block it out. I still do have problems though. I just met a guy who I really love and he says he loves me too but.... inside I just can't believe he does no matter what he says. He is gorgeous, perfect, and I don't think I deserve him AT ALL! Actually, I know I don't deserve him. He tells me I'm beautiful and I tell him to shut up because he's lying. It really pisses him off, of course, but I just can't help myself. I really suggest talking to someone, a therapist perhaps. It's not an easy thing and I'm still getting over it but it does get better. College really helped me, meeting new people and more mature people. You sound like you're at puberty age and at that age almost everyone is immature and just stupid. The worst age to be I think. I also understand you when you say your friends are "below you" and not worth talking to about it. I was mature and understood things at a young age and the people around me just began to make me sick....
    I'm telling you, IT GETS BETTER! Also, not everyone bases their opinions of people on looks. It just seems that the group that does open their mouths the most. Hang in there Robert. I wish you the best in everything and if you're beautiful on the inside, it always shows on the outside! I know it even though I sometimes can't let myself believe it


    [This message has been edited by MeiRenInside (edited 06-27-2002).]

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