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How do I tell my parents?

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Old 04-30-2003, 05:08 AM   #1
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kbunch HB User
Post How do I tell my parents?

My situation is kind of odd. My dad is remarried, so I live with my mom. My mom is my everything, I love her and she is my best friend. But once I thought I was pregnant, and I went straight to my dad and step mom, I go to them with that sorts of stuff and my mom still thinks I'm a virgin. I am not on birth control and I feel that I need to be. I'm not sure exactly what I can do. Also, how can I tell my mom I'm not a virgin, or should I?
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Old 04-30-2003, 08:23 AM   #2
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wrin HB User

Whether you should or shouldn't tell your mom is not my call to make; she's not my mom.

You should get on birth control. Let it be known there's reasons to be on birth control that have nothing to do with sex, and you don't need an adult's permission to get a hold of the stuff either.

What you DO need is a pap exam and a doctor who knows you well to prescribe it, ideally.

Old 04-30-2003, 01:54 PM   #3
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toaskornottoask HB User

I agree. If you are old enough to go to the doctor yourself, then ask him if he can prescribe birth control to you IF he knows you well. I am a male and was once on birth control for acne. That could also be another reason for it.

Old 04-30-2003, 02:55 PM   #4
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Kressy HB User

I agree with the prior posts. Also, if you're scared about remembering to take the pill, or that your mom might find it in your purse, you may want to consider going on the shot. It's called Depo Provera and you only get it once every three months. I'm a chicken and it doesn't even hurt. It's just a little poke. And, you get a two week window to get the shot.

As far as telling your mom...well, you already know how she'll react. Are you at the "right" age? That's right in her eyes?

Old 04-30-2003, 05:34 PM   #5
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Just remember your Mother will still love you no matter what. I made the decision to tell my mom that I was sexually active and that I thought I was pregnant and needed to see a dr. I asked if I wasn't pregnant if I could go on the pill. My Mom freaked and said no. She felt if I went on the pill then I would be more sexually active than without it. Well I went to the dr. to see if I was pregnant and I wasn't, thank God! But the dr. asked me if I wanted to go on the pill. I said yes because I didn't need my parents permission. I had no problem paying for them because I had a job. But in a few months my mother found my pills and smokes and was really hurt that I wasn't honest with her. I think it is best to be honest up front. My Mom insists she would have understood. Once that trust was broke it was hard to get it back.

Old 05-01-2003, 07:34 PM   #6
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wrin HB User

karla; your mom telling you you're not allowed to go on the pill and then being mad when you do anyway, and saying she would have understood... that's rich!

Old 05-03-2003, 07:49 PM   #7
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When I was younger I had the same problem. I went on them anyways and then my mom found them. She was mad, but what was she going to do? I think you should talk to her. She may get mad, but I think she will eventually understand. Most mothers should be happy that you want to go on it, instead of not going on it and getting preg. Put it this way. Would you rather spend money on the pill or diapers?

Old 05-04-2003, 03:58 PM   #8
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just like some of the other posts, i don't think that anyone here can make the decision about talking to you mom for you, but hopefully someone here can HELP you make a better decision.

my mother and i always got along, but we were never really "close" until i started getting my period, and stuff...

with each life experience i have gone through, my mother and i have become more close, and i don't hesitate to tell her anything...however, i'm not sexually active, so i can't really sympathize directly with what your going through.

do you think that your mother's standards would cause her to become upset or irate if you told her you are not a virgin...because, if they would upset her that much, there doesn't seem to be a reason to tell her

on the flip side though, i would rather tell my mother something like that rather than misleading her and getting caught in the act...that could get ugly.

however, if you think she would understand, or doesn't have any standards that collide with your activities, then i would strongly advise you to tell her. you said yourself that your mom "was your everything", and when you have that kinda bond, you should never have secrets...

i hope this helps...keep us updated

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Old 05-05-2003, 12:47 AM   #9
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Mistyrose HB User

That is going to be one of the hardest conversations you will have with your mother, and after the "hurt, and anger" pass, it will be the start of a new relationship with your mother. That of girlfriends, not so much mother daught! By the way how old are you? That will depend alot on how your mom will accept this information.

Old 05-13-2003, 08:20 PM   #10
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BabblingBrooke HB User

From a mother's point of view....

I would talk to your mother and tell you that you are having sex, but you want to be safe about it and go on the pill. Yes, It will shock her and probably upset her at first. But, hopefully she will understand, she may even have gone through the same thing as a teenager. Believe me, it will be a lot easier to have that conversation with her than for her to go through the shock of you telling her u are pregnant. When I was 15, I was so scared to go on birth control for fear that my mother would find out(she is against sex before marriage) Well because of my fear to ask for birth control , I became pregnant. Telling her was the most difficult thing I had ever done. She was both shocked that I wasn't a virgin and that I was pregnant. She took it well though, a mother loves her child no matter what. Mothers are aware that their daughters will come to them some day for these issues, and though it may disappoint her a bit at first, her love will not change for you. You may even become closer for being open with her and not sneaking around behind her back


Old 05-28-2003, 10:52 AM   #11
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Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User

I think we are losing site of something here....the pill does not stop STDs. Even if you are on the pill, you need to be using condoms. (One can argue that if you use condoms, you don't need the pill, but as you are already having high risk sex, the slightly higher risk of pregnancy by not using both does not seem to be an issue).

I am amused by young people who say they have the right and maturity to be having sex and to get the pill and all, yet are scared to ask their parents for permission to see the doctor to get on the pill. If you are mature and responsible enough to be having sex - especially unprotected sex that could make you a mother yourself - then you should be mature and responsible enough to either ask your mother to let you get on the pill, or to find your own doctor and get on the pill yourself.

One final comment - if you have a steady bf, why don't you get him to pay for the pills and any doctor bills? Or at least half of it. Afterall, he is the main benefactor of this - why should you pay so he can have free sex?

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