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boyfriend too old????

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Old 05-04-2003, 06:34 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa, United States
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QTgirl17 HB User
Post boyfriend too old????

I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 3 and a half months now and we have become really close. My parents expecially my dad doesn't agree with the relationship because i am 17 and my boyfriend is 19....i think its rediculous because i am just a year from being an adult. Prom came up and i wanted to take Ryan and my dad said that he would take away my car and my phone and give me all these consequences if i went to prom with him. I just want to know if he is too old for me and if i should listen to my dad or stick to what i think is right and go against him.

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Old 05-04-2003, 07:31 PM   #2
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~*Silent*~ HB User

I am 17 my BF is 21. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that whatsoever. What's the age diff between your parents, or grandparents? Probably more than 2 years. I bet your dad is just uncomfortable with the idea of his little girl being with a sex crazed boy. He was there once, and probably has memories of what he was like when he was that age, so he's worried about it.

As long as the two of you are meeting at the intellectual level there is nothing wrong with it.

Old 05-06-2003, 05:46 PM   #3
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FaithfulyWaiting HB User

like..thats the dumbest thing I ever heard, lol. Age has nothing to do with anything, rotflol.
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Old 05-07-2003, 07:01 AM   #4
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moreen33 HB User

that's just stupid. 17 and 19 are two years apart! Most of the people in my family married people who are AT LEAST two years older than them. I, myself, have dated someone six years older than me. Age is just a number and you can't control who you are attracted to. Tell your dad that he needs to open his eyes and see that you're not ten anymore

Old 05-07-2003, 12:44 PM   #5
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zuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB Userzuzu8 HB User

I agree with you that 17/19 shouldn't be a problem at ALL.
Does your Dad KNOW Ryan?
Am wondering if the reason he's so anxious is that he hasn't spent any time with you guys, seeing you together and how you are together. Maybe if he spent some social time with you andRyan, your dad wouldn't be so overly concerned.
Have Ryan over for dinner!

Old 05-08-2003, 01:54 PM   #6
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AnythingButOrdinary HB User

dude, two years? thats nothing. hell, i know people who are 10-15 yrs apart, which is gross to me but whatever. anyway, my parents are eight yrs apart..i agree how many yrs are your parents apart? talk to your dad, have ryan over for dinner, totally.
good luck!
ps: dont go and do things behind your dad's back like going to prom with ryan..hang through it.when you dont listen and start to rebel things get worse, believe me!
it never gets better when you do stuff behind parents' backs...they just lost trust
(had to put that in)hope i helped

Old 05-09-2003, 01:07 AM   #7
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bboybash HB User

my mom married my dad when she was 21, my dad was 36.

Old 05-09-2003, 10:22 AM   #8
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SciTeach HB User

I may be off base here but I thought I stick my 2-cents worth in. First of all, I am OLD (54) and I may have a different persepective on this than you do.

What I have noticed over the years is that age differences make more of a difference in your life when you are younger. For example, your age difference is 2 years. If I had a 12 year daughter and she wanted to date a boy 2 years older I would say absolutely NOT. It's "only 2 years" but worlds apart in maturity, activitities, behaviors, etc. It's a seventh grade girl dating a freshman in HS.

In your case, the two years is not quite as significant. You've grown and matured, are currently in HS and,I assume, he is in college? (If I am wrong that blows my whole argument )

It may be that Dad doesn't want his high school daughter getting involved with a college man just yet, and for good reason. There is quite a bit a difference in maturity and expectations and behaviors between a high schooler and a college guy.

Or is it age at all? Has your your young man done anything that might be construed by your father as inappropriate....bringing you home late, being disrespectful or just "not good enough for my baby".

If I were you I'd try to talk to Dad and find out what in particular bothers him about you taking this boy to prom. Maybe you can calm whatever fears he has. (Fat chance...I know....but it's worth a try.)

That's my 2 cents...take it for what it is advice!!


Old 05-09-2003, 11:40 AM   #9
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TLWDancer HB User

Oh Gosh, girl, I know the feeling. I will be 17 in a few months, and my boyfriend will be 19 next month. My mom totally flipped when she found out he was 18. She has met him before and he is starting to come over a lot now. She was very unhappy when she didn't know him. But now that she knows how much we enjoy being together and how much he respects me. She is slowly getting over it. Course my dad's not in the picture, so I dont have to worry about the male point of view. Though I can almost assure you my dad would not like my bf. My bf is kind of a redneck and my dad is kinda hoity But oh well. But, as someone said. Do not go behind your dad's back, or that will just worsen the matter.

True Love Waits... And if it's really love, they will wait for you.
True Love Waits... And if it's really love, they will wait for you.

Old 05-11-2003, 12:27 PM   #10
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Curtdude HB User

I have to take what TLdancer has to say and apply it to your situation. Here are some questions to ponder. Has he met your parents and how does he respect them. Does he come to the door to take you out or does he beep the horn at the curb. Has he spent any amount of time with your family to get to know him or do you keep him hidden and he never comes over. Your parents may not know anything about this collage dude that is taking thier (in their eyes) little daughter out. You need to work on the trust issue and have him earn the respect of your parents they at least deserve it. OH and one more thing Dont pull the I am going to be 18 in 2 months thing with your dad becuase if you were livin in my home when i grew up your bag would be packed at the door when you came back from school.

RESPECT it is a big word that parents like and it is easy to get. Once you have it dont blow it

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Old 05-22-2003, 05:34 PM   #11
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AutumnMist HB User

2 years is nothing, especially since you're already 17. I'm 15 and I was going out with an 18 year old. But don't get me wrong, he wasn't the type of guy that was out there just to get some, he was really sweet. And on top of that before I met him I thought he was just a sophomore when he was already a senior! He's the same height as me too. Anyways my point is a 2 year difference isn't a big deal.

Old 05-25-2003, 09:12 PM   #12
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blondy15 HB User


Old 05-26-2003, 08:21 PM   #13
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flychick HB User

i'm 16 almost 17 and my boyfriend is 19. its not a huge my parents dont know.

Old 05-28-2003, 06:13 AM   #14
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Snazzy101 HB User

I'm also older, and I have to agree with SciTeach.

Trying to use the age difference between your parents (if one exists) to make your point is not a valid argument. The older you get, the less an age difference matters. When you're, say, 27, it doesn't matter if your partner is 29, or 32, or 25. You're both adults then, and hopefully, have accumulated some life experience. But when you're a teenager, a year or two could make a MAJOR difference in terms of experience and expectations.

That being said, 17 and 19 doesn't sound like that big of a deal. But it CAN be, depending on the personalities of the people involved. If you were very innocent, naive, and had not dated at all, and your 19-yr-old boyfriend was rowdy, very sexually experienced and had trouble with the law, then, whoa! I could see why your Dad would object.

Since I'm a parent myself, I'll give you some advice on how to get your way Being a defiant little snot is not the way to go! You want to show your parents that you have a good head on your shoulders, that you're responsible, and that you care about their opinions. Calmly sit down with your Dad and discuss your boyfriend with him. Listen to your Dad's concerns, and try to calm his fears. At the same time, try to recognize that he may have a valid point about this boy. If possible, try to come up with solutions that will show your Dad that you have made a good choice in choosing this person. Invite him over. Respect your curfews on dates.

Act like an adult and you may get treated like one.

Old 05-29-2003, 08:21 AM   #15
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Sweet_Raver_Pixie HB User

Girl 17 and 19 are nothing. Your dad is crazy. I am 16 soon to be 17 and I just hooked up with a 21 year old, and come to find out a few days ago that I might be pregnet for a 24 year old... which is my friend. we both got to waisted. anyways.... age is nothing but a # but your dad needs help BAD!

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