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Am I really a bad girlfriend???

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Old 06-23-2003, 07:40 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Maryland
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jshortstuff4 HB User
Unhappy Am I really a bad girlfriend???

Hey, so I just started goin out with this guy that I really like and I mean we have been friends for the longest time, but the whole relationship is finally official! But anyway, a lot of times he will always want to do something all the time, and I mean I would be like sure lets go out and do sometin, but then there are those other times where im just like go away i dont feel like doin anything with u today. And then my bf will send me all these gushy emails to me sayin how much he loves me and how he wants to be with me forever and hes very open about the whole thing, and i mean it is real sweet and all but i just dont feel the same at times. But dont get me wrong i love him to death...I guess im not as committed as him or sometin. But does that really make me a bad girlfriend, or am I just reacting as any young high school student would?

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Old 06-23-2003, 08:01 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: FL USA
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UF baby HB User

Some people are more independent than sound a lot like me. Sometimes I'd rather stay home and watch a movie by myself than have a friend sleep over or go out w/my bf. It doesn't make you a bad girlfriend!

You can make of the relationship whatever you want to make out of it. If you want to be serious that's fine if you want something simple and friendly that's cool too.

Old 06-23-2003, 09:01 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 335
toaskornottoask HB User

You sound like me too (although I am a guy). Some girls I have dated wanted to do things all the time, and that was great, but there are those days when I just don't even wanna go anywhere, where I want to lay around and watch TV or a movie or something, everyone is different

Old 07-02-2003, 05:17 PM   #4
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Cute*Kitten HB User
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I think everything is normal. I spent alot of time with my guy and we ended up getting tired of each other, and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. Spending time together is great but we all have our "days" and that's fine. And don't feel bad about the mushy e-mails and letters, so people do it and some just don't.
~*Snai Mandi*~

Old 07-06-2003, 07:53 AM   #5
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Beeton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6
~*~Danielle~*~ HB User

NO! you are not a bad girlfriend, recently my boyfriend just asked me to go to a party with him, but i sayed i didn't feel like it. He beeged me to go but still i sayed i wasn't in the mood to party, so he went without me.

i mean who can blame us if we wanna stay at home in our p.j's and watch movies, you cant do everyting with your boy, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so you do what you want, and than it will make when you see eachother and are with eacjother more special cuz you were apart for a bit.


Old 07-06-2003, 12:17 PM   #6
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
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shellylay HB User

Nope, you're definitely not a bad g/f! There are many times that I feel like being alone and then other times, I want to be w/my b/f 24/7. What I have realized that when I feel that I want to be w/him all the time is b/c I feel a little neglected, so I want to really try to get him to notice me.

I'm not saying that you're a bad g/f because you should always take some YOU time, but also just take a step back and wonder if he feels like he needs more attention or something.


*~* ShEllyLAy *~*

Old 07-06-2003, 12:55 PM   #7
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: PA,USA
Posts: 688
DanaJ HB User

No, you certainly aren't a bad girlfriend.
You sound very young, and I was wondering if he is also young?
When you're young, it's especially good to have times away from each other etc. You're way too young to be completely enveloped with him. At your age, being inseparable from someone such as a bf/gf is a bad idea, and can get really messy, not to mention cause many problems.
You're young! Enjoy life, don't restrict yourself. Depending on your age etc, you will probably have many more bfs before you meet the right one.
It's important that he understands where you're coming from. It doesn't mean you don't care for him, it just means everyone needs some alone or away time Hope he understands that.

Old 07-10-2003, 07:15 AM   #8
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 48
Sundance_Dawn HB User

Having just recently learned (I am nearly 25) how to keep a bit of distance in a relationship, I can tell you that needing your own space does NOT make you a bad girlfriend at all!

Don't get me wrong as an only child I am quite happy on my own but before I used to cling to a boyfriend, wanted to be together 24/7 and wouldn't do anything on my own, but now I have learned to appreciate independence. Typical then, that I'm now going out with a guy who is quite clingy!

A bit of distance does a relationship the world of good (as long as one partner doesn't say spend EVERY night out with their mates and never calls etc.), as they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I just told my bf when we got together (I had just got out of a very troubled relationship & he knew the story) that I needed a bit of space and my independence - why don't you talk to your boyfriend and explain to him how you feel? If you don't he might get hurt because he could interpret your behaviour as a sign that you're not interested (which it isn't, but it can sometimes seem like that). Good Luck!

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