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Hate myself

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Old 08-06-2003, 04:35 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: TX
Posts: 130
jamie157 HB User
Post Hate myself

Okay I just thought I'd share my story, since I heard someone elses, complaining...

2 years ago I moved from my home country to my current location (the UK) with my family. I had no choice in the matter. I was 15 and enjoyed a good social life with friends, although I was still a bit insecure (shy etc.)

Once I arived in Britain I had to join a school where everything was different. I had subjects forced upon me and a total isolation period being at a school Knowing no-one. The place I was living was a ****hole to say the least (don't know what my parents were thinking?). Anyways I had a very rough time, and dropped out and started working. After another 6 month period I has to move to another location inside the Uk. This is when I got severe acne-- right when I started school again. I was already tramitized by what I had been through, and had to deal with severe acne and a whole new school and surounding. I never managed to make friends (to shy/too self-concious). I haven't been able to see my old friends in 2 years from my home country due to my acne, as I had flawless skin beforehand. You may find that pathetic but beliwve me, my face is mangled now, It's hard to face anyone, let alone friends who would make me a focus point after 2 years. I have lost touch with them and have like no real friends, only aquaintences. No girl-friend due to acne scars and my LOW slf-confidence. I have seen doctors about my skin and they say the scars--- " I will have to learn to live with."

I constantly worry where my life will lead to, I am struggling a lot. I wonder if I will ever get a relationship with a girl, and I will be too in-xperienced. I often seek help about issues wih girl's (I don't know why I really bother tho, I'm not good with them)

I dunno I think I've had a lot of bad luck.

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Old 08-06-2003, 06:48 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 194
Kylie1 HB User

I wanna share too :P

I'm 16 years old and I have chronic fatigue. I used to be really active and play heaps of sports but now I can't I'm not just tired I get alot of aches and various other annoying stuff. I am always exhausted and I feel like **** if I don't get ATLEAST 10 hours sleep a day. I'm depressed on and off, although I usually try and keep cheery. My chronic fatigue has also forced me to quit school becuase I can't do much, but I am home schooled now.

I am also loosing weight for no apparent reason, I think it's because of stress. I'm 5'7" and something like 103lbs which I don't know if it is really underweight but I think I should pack on a little chub because I don't feel so great this thin.

I don't see my friends often anymore, not that they were really good friends anyway. I guess I was popular at school which has made me confident yet it has made me very insecure. Being popular isn't so great with the friends talking behind your back thing. I can't bare to open my grades incase I don't have straight A's. I feel like if I'm not perfect I'm worthless.

I don't get along with my father because he treats me like I'm nothing and calls me things which I don't think I'm allowed to write here, but he rarely hits me. All of our family (except my dad) doesn't get along with my dad's side of the family because they are just plain cruel to us. Dad sticks up for them cos he is a ********. For some reason my mum won't divorce him, I think she is afraid of being alone.

My brother has epilipsy which can be really scary to watch. It has been getting worse over the years and he has to keep getting his medication put up. Now his medication is making him sick but we can't take him off it. It worries me that the his medication isn't working so good anymore and I get really afraid he might have a seziure and die or something.

My sister in law has cancer, and in the past two years 3 people I really care about have died.

I think that's about it. I'm not trying to get attention or make anyone feel sorry for me of anything. I just think it feels good to get this stuff out sometimes. I do feel better after writing this actually

Old 08-08-2003, 09:39 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: austin, texas, usa
Posts: 25
romulus HB User

my brother was and still continues to be disfigured by acne, but you'd be surprised how many lady friends he has. all you need is confidence in yourself and people will be able to see past your skin. trust me, i had bad acne for 8+ years, and it took me a while to gain self confidence, but i did. you just have to stop convincing yourself that acne is ruining your life, and it wont. good luck.

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