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  • To all those in restrictive relationships..

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    Old 10-25-2003, 10:36 PM   #1
    lovely.lady
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    Smile To all those in restrictive relationships..

    I'm writing this to all those in restrictive relationships, or relationships that are ultimately hurting you, your self esteem, etc.

    Tonight I got out of a serious relationship that I thought would never end. But the thing is I was being mistreated so badly in it... I was being constantly ditched, I wasn't even in his top 10 priorities, and in my opinion, that is worthless.

    I was convinced that I loved this guy, and that he was really the one for me. He told me he loved me too, and that he wanted to marry me. Basically he mislead me the whole time. He lied to me. I swore I cried more than I laughed with him.

    The last straw for me was today. For the billionth time, he told me he would hang out with me but ended up going to a party with his disgusting and bad influencing friends. I laid in my room, in the dark, for hours on my bed, just crying and thinking how worthless I was. When he called me that night he asked me if I was mad at him and I told him that I was, and asked him why he continued to hurt me like this. I asked him why he had said this and that, and why he did this and that, and you know the only answer he could give me?

    "I don't know."

    So I am writing this to encourage anyone in a relationship where you are being mistreated in any way to get out of it. Be brave and you will feel so much better. I know I do... what's the point of being in a relationship where you are constantly suffering and disappointed when the point of dating someone is to be happy with them and to have fun?

    I guess I just needed to share my story and at least make an attempt to encourage somebody out there...

     
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    Old 10-26-2003, 12:09 AM   #2
    jamesk
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    my thought is whatever makes you happy. thanks for sharing thou

     
    Old 10-29-2003, 09:26 PM   #3
    Baby_hands
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    Wow, well good on you!
    It takes alot of courage, especially when you feel like you really love the person.

    A couple of years ago, in my first serious relationship, I went through something a little bit like that, except maybe not SO bad.
    He wouldnt call when he said he would, he would be distant, lie....things like that. He said we'd get marrie too...so that really makes thing all "AWWWWE".

    This would cause me to cry so much I'd make myself vomitt!

    Anyway, after I finally reeled out what was wrong, he broke it off, but with my help, the lil coward.
    HE tried to get me back, while i was with someone else...and that kinda got my hopes up, then he smashed it all down again!
    LOL

    Anyway, I'm so proud of you!
    I wish I could have done that years ago.
    Thankfully, I now am more mature!

    GO GIRL!
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    Old 10-29-2003, 09:36 PM   #4
    surrealmeal
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    Wow, congratulations. You're awesome. Thanks for sharing this with everyone.
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    Old 10-30-2003, 05:59 AM   #5
    lovely.lady
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    Smile

    Wow... that sounds -exactly- like me, Baby hands. It just really sucks when crappy parties and gross people get chosen over you. I mean, we had been going out for only 8 months, and had a long term engagement thing going on, but if I am completely honest I wasn't happy for the last probably 6 months of our relationship. It was just one thing after the other. Also, being honest it's been extremely hard... I've been running into him everywhere with his little girlfriends, which isn't exactly cool in my opinion. I guess the overall worst thing is everyone is expecting me to jump right back in the game and be fine again. With the whole Halloween thing, people are expecting me to go hang out, parties, all this, and I guess I should, but I'm just not "bouncing back" as fast I wish I was.

     
    Old 10-30-2003, 08:00 PM   #6
    VeganLady
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    Good for you on getting out of that relationship! My first serious relationship, if you could call it that, was the same way. Actually, it was to the point of lots of emotional abuse, and some psyical. Of course, I had A LOT of mental problems at the time, so I suppose I 'allowed' a lot of it. I stayed until he left me, and now I feel so stupid for doing so. It only lasted 6 months, but it was the worst 6 months of my life. However, I'm now in a great relationship, and very thankful I got out of that first one and finally found the right person.


    It's so great that you left before things got even worse. Stay strong. Good luck to you.
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    Old 10-30-2003, 09:16 PM   #7
    Baby_hands
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    You take aslong as you need to recover from what went on! No one except you, and maybe the people you live with who watched you go through, have an idea of how hard it was.
    You dont need anymore emotional hurt right now, especially if you enter into the "game" this quickly, and something went wrong, it might be too much for you!

    You just keep praying, and shower yourself with some ME time!
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    Old 10-31-2003, 02:08 AM   #8
    Meg28
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    Ditto!!! I'm proud of you lovely lady!!

    Meg

     
    Old 10-31-2003, 07:39 AM   #9
    lovely.lady
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    Thanks everyone!! It's so confusing, last night he called me which was weird. I swore I wouldn't start calling him, because I called him like two days after we broke up just to finalize things, and there he told me he wanted to work it out but he needed to 'be alone.' Whhhhatever that means. So I was confused about what he meant, cause it could mean a variety of things, but I swore I wouldn't call him and I didn't want to appear all desperate, wanting him back, even though I do miss him. He called me, and we talked just like normal, and at the end of the phone call I told him he had to make up his mind soon about things, so I could figure out whether to move on or wait for him, but I told him that I wouldn't wait long. Ok, I bet this is really confusing... but yeah, I don't know, it's pretty obvious that he doesn't want to get back together which is good for me because I would get back with him in a heartbeat if I could- pathetic!!!

     
    Old 11-02-2003, 07:53 PM   #10
    LinkinParkTennisGumbi23
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    I'm really proud of you! Restrictive relationships are so hard to end, but I'm really glad you did it!

     
    Old 11-04-2003, 05:59 AM   #11
    lovely.lady
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    Wow, ok, this whole new healthboards thing is totally throwing me off........ anyway, thanks LinkinPark! He reported to me on Saturday that he wanted to see other girls! Whatever... I let him know (nicely of course) that he was being kinda well sorta really shallow! But I'm pretty much over it... I realize that my life doesn't have to revolve around guys.

     
    Old 11-04-2003, 09:39 PM   #12
    Baby_hands
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    Awe make sure you dont give into him.
    I can tell by your posts that, you know it wouldnt do any good to get back with him.
    He wouldnt learn from his mistakes. Some people need to be deprived of the ones they "love" to understand that people wont put up with it!

    And remember why you broke it off, and how much he hurt you in the relationship.
    Theres a reason you broke it off, and just think...there's someone else out there for you, who you wont hurt you like that.

    You are a loveely lady, who deserves a lovely man!

    Dont make me come up there now ya'ear
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    Old 11-06-2003, 06:11 AM   #13
    lovely.lady
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    Smile

    Thanks, baby hands! Sucha sweetheart you are. No, I wont be getting back with him anytime soon, maybe once he grows up we'll be able to get together, but until then I'll try and take it easy!

     
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