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    Old 10-03-2004, 04:37 AM   #1
    IceProdigy
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    Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    I am currently 17, 3 months away from 18, and I am having a hard time with myself lately. I'm not sure if its because of natural aging, or if im just depressed. I would think that being 17 I would be full of potential.. beginning my life... but I dont feel this way.. I feel no potential.. Im judging life, and I'm thinking alot about it. Is this natural? or a disorder? do i need help? please help me.

     
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    Old 10-03-2004, 08:23 AM   #2
    Janni
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Hi! I think you are very smart to want to talk about your feelings. I think they are normal and pretty common at that age, and lots of times people have those feelings but really feel scared to talk about them because they want to appear cool and confident. 18 is sort of a milestone birthday - considered to be "adult" - able to vote, legally independent, etc. So many expectations are placed on 18 year olds, and even 16 and 17 year olds - decisions about education, work, behavior etc. I remember when I was young - sometimes it seemed like I was looking at the future through frosted glass - like I just couldn't "see" what was out there for me, what choices I should make. I hope you will get some support here, but also think about who in your family, school or community you might feel comfortable talking to about the feelings and about sorting out your options. This is especially important if you feel depressed and worry that you might do something harmful or impulsive just to escape the pain of the feelings. There are certain sets of worries that go along with every age, and we need to work on coping and problem-solving skills. Try not to obsess about it, and enjoy whatever good comes along. Good luck, and stay with us!

     
    Old 10-03-2004, 08:57 PM   #3
    Gneaj
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    I just recently turned 18. I was feeling like you -- still am, actually. I'm still living at home, having trouble finding a job, don't know what I want to do with my life AT ALL... It's stressful and I imagine you and I are going through some similar things here.

    I try to at least focus on the fact that I'm in college (although I'm still pretty confused about what I should be studying.. ) and I tend to pay my own way with whatever money I have.. So that's a first step ... right?

    And then you might consider that the hype surrounding your 18th birthday is pretty much a stereotype -- no one magically becomes completely self sufficient and fully recognizes their potential just because they've had their 18th birthday. ... at least I hope that's not what happens -- otherwise, I'm pretty far behind here.

    I dunno.. I'm coping now better than I was on my 18th birthday. Perhaps things will become easier for you as well.

    Have fun.

     
    Old 10-04-2004, 12:44 AM   #4
    IceProdigy
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    I dont have money for college, ive made some other posts simular to this but in more detail, and I have gotten some nice replies. Before I went to sleep yesterday, I thought about how my father changed from loving me to not showing his love and not showing that he cares at all, actually its quite opposite... I want his love, and I sort of want to test it. So I've decided that on my 18th birthday I will leave before anyone wakes up and join the army, if I can't go in right away I'm going to stay with my grandparents until i do and keep it secret, and then if my father ever wants to see me again, he will have to find me on his own. It may seem a bit harsh, but what he has put me through is alot harsher, also it should give me the money to give me a good start on life, and hopefully I can grow up to have kids, and pass along my knowledge of life, and let them have a better life in the beginning than I have. After the army I plan on moving out of state and starting college with an apartment, or just live in a dormitory. Hopefully I will find friends, and a girlfriend, and my life will turn out all right. It seems like a hard goal to accomplish, but life shouldn't be a routine, I think that I should try new things, and If my family doesn't want to be there for me, I will get out of the pain they force on me, and start my own damn family!
    -Jeremiah

     
    Old 10-04-2004, 04:16 AM   #5
    The only name not taken
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Good to hear that your confident enough and eager to strike out on your own. BUt dont think the army is a walk in the park. YOu'll be forced to earn ever cent you make, and what if your shipped off to somewhere like Iraq? Did you think about what could happen?

    I'd think about that army thing b4 doin it just to test your father's love. Its kinda extreme and could easily back fire.

    This is just to help you think, I'm not takin a shot at ya. Hope it all works out for ya mate

    GL.
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    Old 10-04-2004, 05:47 AM   #6
    eightball61
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    When I was your age I did alot of thinking like that myself. I didn't know where my life was going. At 22 I still feel the same way. Its good to plan but be prepared for things to change. Life life day by day and see what comes from there.

     
    Old 10-04-2004, 07:26 AM   #7
    MrOwl
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    How much have you talked to your father about these things?

     
    Old 10-04-2004, 09:30 AM   #8
    Janni
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    The military life can be a tremendous opportunity for people who are prepared to accept challenges and discipline. I'd like to suggest you consider the Navy as well. Navy worked out fantastic for my son - made it a career, even got bachelors and masters degrees while in. Even though you are not 18 yet, it would be a good idea to start visiting recruiters now, so that you can determine if you are going to be eligible to enlist as to your health, and there are placement tests to take too, and they usually prefer HS graduates. The recruiters can tell you what different programs they are offering, such as delayed reporting etc, and what kinds of training you might be eligible for - that often depends on what specialties they are short of, and what educational benefits are available. The military isn't as good a choice for people who are running away from something as it would be for people who want to move toward something, in terms of learning and experience. And its no "walk in the park". And like anything, people get out of it what they put into it. Still wishing you lots of luck.

     
    Old 10-20-2004, 07:12 PM   #9
    Danielle895
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    The army pays for your housing, you'll get a paycheck and if you stay in long enough you'll recieve benefits, or get tuition money. However I personally dont trust the army and I think they probably dont help as much as they brag to. The army may not accept you when they find out about your drug past. You can work your way through college, or take out a loan when you turn 18 to pay for school. Do you know what you want to study in school?

    Last edited by Danielle895; 10-20-2004 at 07:17 PM.

     
    Old 10-26-2004, 02:30 PM   #10
    Angelica17
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    **THIS IS SORT OF LONG BUT I THINK WORTH IT**

    I'm 17 and feeling the pressure too. Dont worry. The more you think your depressed and have "problems" the more likly you are to put yourself into a depression.

    Like many have already replied, this is a time in your life when you go through a transition. From dependant to an independant individual. Yet what most of us fail to realize is that this is only a social role that we have to play. Its like ageism. We dont have to fit certain criteria just because were going to be or are 18. You dont have to know what you want to do with your life, who your going to marry in a few years, or even what university or collage you want to go to (if you are even planning to go to one). Yes, it is good and highly recommended that you do strive towards figuring out where you are heading in life. So heres your time. That is afterall what you are doing isnt it? Trying to figure things out. If that wasnt the case you wouldnt be so concerned and there would be no post for me to reply to.

    Just dont freak out. Take baby steps. Make some kind of realistic goal for yourself and then work towards it. Something that would help head you in the right direction. Maybe get a job? Or pick where you would attend for further education. Consider all your options. See how things work out. If you arnt ready for such a big change stop. Take a break, and then try again. At least that is the advice I give myself when things get out of hand and i start freaking out.

    But I know how it is, there is so much pressure, so much hard work involved right now. Graduation scares me. The real world scares me. But think about it this way, when you were in kindergarden didnt the thought of gr.5 scare you? How were you ever going to do it? And then when gr. 5 came along it was nothing like the horors you imagined. And then in gr. 6 you were like gr 12 how am I going to ever be able to do that? Yet here you are doing it. Same thing is happening now....we look out and see ppl with their money and their cars n their families and think omg how am I going to start?where?what?AHH

    In the end you'll be fine!

    Last edited by Angelica17; 10-26-2004 at 02:32 PM.

     
    Old 10-26-2004, 02:34 PM   #11
    eightball61
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Angelica17
    **THIS IS SORT OF LONG BUT I THINK WORTH IT**

    I'm 17 and feeling the pressure too. Dont worry. The more you think your depressed and have "problems" the more likly you are to put yourself into a depression.

    Like many have already replied, this is a time in your life when you go through a transition. From dependant to an independant individual. Yet what most of us fail to realize is that this is only a social role that we have to play. Its like ageism. We dont have to fit certain criteria just because were going to be or are 18. You dont have to know what you want to do with your life, who your going to marry in a few years, or even what university or collage you want to go to (if you are even planning to go to one). Yes, it is good and highly recommended that you do strive towards figuring out where you are heading in life. So heres your time. That is afterall what you are doing isnt it? Trying to figure things out. If that wasnt the case you wouldnt be so concerned and there would be no post for me to reply to.

    Just dont freak out. Take baby steps. Make some kind of realistic goal for yourself and then work towards it. Something that would help head you in the right direction. Maybe get a job? Or pick where you would attend for further education. Consider all your options. See how things work out. If you arnt ready for such a big change stop. Take a break, and then try again. At least that is the advice I give myself when things get out of hand and i start freaking out.

    But I know how it is, there is so much pressure, so much hard work involved right now. Graduation scares me. The real world scares me. But think about it this way, when you were in kindergarden didnt the thought of gr.5 scare you? How were you ever going to do it? And then when gr. 5 came along it was nothing like the horors you imagined. And then in gr. 6 you were like gr 12 how am I going to ever be able to do that? Yet here you are doing it. Same thing is happening now....we look out and see ppl with their money and their cars n their families and think omg how am I going to start?where?what?AHH

    In the end you'll be fine!

    Welcome to the boards and great advice here

     
    Old 10-30-2004, 03:46 PM   #12
    melleth
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    No kidding and then there is the possibility of having to kill someone your self. You have to live with that for the rest of your life.

    I felt the same when I was 18. Scared to death and not ready to be an adult. I was really depresssed about the way the world was to the point of wanting to die and I even cut myself a few times. I met one of jehova's Witnesses and talking to him really helped me feel beter about the world and life and I am doing ok now. Got a job and a home of my own 500 miles from my family. Bad memories of childhood for me too but I still love my parrents and tell then so even if I never thought they really loved me.

    Oh and I'm now 35 and you know what. I'm ok and you will be also.{huggs}

     
    Old 10-31-2004, 01:21 AM   #13
    angellic_lilly
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Hi, I'm Steff. I read your problem and can see where you are coming from to a degree. My situations were somewhat different. I'm nineteen now, birthday was last June. I beleive what is going on is normal stress. About to graduate no doubt, congrats on that. What's out there in the big world can be distressing. Not knowing what's ahead of you is worse. The fear that builds over "not knowing" is surely enough to drive a sane man crazed! Just take one day at a time...learn to live with the fact that everyone goes through it, one step towards your goals a day got the hard working souls where they want to be! My ma and i fought like hellions my senior year. It was awful. We both knew i was growing up and starting life and we both were wanting to deny it. Two weeks after grad. i moved to Indiana with distant second cousins of mine. Things did not improve between my family and I. I was trying to find myself...and my parents were doing the same for themselves, but still unalbe to let me go. I only tell you what i have experienced so far..in hopes to prepare for you what may or may not come when you leave. It's hard to let your baby leave, so i have been told. Adjustments will be made and in the end, you will conquer. You'll find yourself and your place in life that makes you, number one, the happiest. Don't be disgruntled, TRY not to remain afraid, once you get the hang of things, it's not as bad as you think. You'll do fine i'm sure. So place a smile on your face and do not fear what is to come, it does no good to dread over the future. Instead, think of your happiest moments of your past and delight yourself on what it is that happened that brought you to be here as the wonderful person that you are! Don't dwell on bad things from the past for they cannot be changed either. lol I opologize for ranting on but i do hope sincerely that i could be of help in my long shpeel. as to that, let me know what you think if you so wish to do so. Have a good day. ~Steff~

     
    Old 10-31-2004, 01:16 PM   #14
    eightball61
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Ice, if you are still around I would like to know how things have been going for you lately.

     
    Old 11-24-2004, 06:15 PM   #15
    kerry1
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    Re: Anyone 17 or older, please read and help

    Have you ever heard Alice Cooper's song "Eighteen" ?? It came out back in the 70's (when I was eighteen) and when I heard it I thought, how can he know exactly how I feel?? I think there's a disease called eighteenitis. You're right on the cusp of adulthood and somehow it's not what you expect. Somehow most of us survive it, though.

     
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