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  • I'm 17 and he's 25

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    Old 10-05-2004, 08:19 PM   #1
    kinwolf
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    I'm 17 and he's 25

    Hi my name is Sam and I am 17 girl. I'm a softmore in high school and I am a currently in love with 25 year old friend of the family. I'm not even sure he is likes me or not. He comes to the house every sunday and hangs around to at least midnight just to talk to me. One night he over me some Rum with the promise he wouldn't tell my parents. I go to the store where he works after school a lot just to hang out with him. My parents would not be cool if they knew I had a thing for him. What should I do?

     
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    Old 10-05-2004, 08:41 PM   #2
    Soulcatcher
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    I hope this does NOT fall on deaf ears. Someone who would go against what your parents would want for you is NOT good. If you had a daughter would you feel comfortable with this situation? He will lure you in with alcohol and try to go further...do you think he is going to fall in love with you and you live happily ever after? You know this isn't right for you and that's why your posting. Seems your parents raised you right, now it's your turn to return the favor and do what they taught you. You are vunerable rather you think so or not, I don't care if you have the best street smarts around. Someone who is 25 years old who is not pursueing someone his own age has problems. You may have a crush and that's ok but do NOT go any further with flirting. Girl please trust me on this. Your seventeen, don't grow up too fast. I wish you the best.....think of yourself and your own saftey.

     
    Old 10-05-2004, 09:57 PM   #3
    MrOwl
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Enjoy being 17. Getting married during High School creates all sorts of problems. You probably do not want to go down that path.

    My sister was 19 when she married a man who was 12 years older. It worked well as long as he lived. He lived a normal life span, but died before his daughter's wedding.

    Think about the long term. Men typically die younger then women. Say the difference is 5 years. That means if you are 8 years younger than he is, then you will spend the last 13 years of your life alone. Visit an assisted living facility or nursing home and see what it is like to be old and alone. I would strongly recommend you marry someone close to your own age.

     
    Old 10-06-2004, 05:36 AM   #4
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    In relationships like these you have to be careful. Typically I would suggest you get to know him more and what he like out of the house. I would also say dont behind your parents back and talk to them about your likings.

    The thing I dont see right here and is a red flag to me is that he brings you rum What is a 25 yr that you aren't dating bringing you rum for? If he wanted to try to seek a relationship with you then he wouldn't do things behind your parents back to gain thier respect and trust.

    I am 22 and dating a 17 yr. I would never imagine myself doing that. He seems very immature for his age. I know you like him but you have to check out all the things that are against you and try to work around that. If you parent let you date then you can't sneek anything and you have to be complete honest. If they find something they dont like then they can press charges for satutory rape on him.

    I dont want to scare you but be smart and wise in decisions like this. He is taking a big risk in bringing you that rum. If you want to build something with him then the rum doesn't have to be included.

     
    Old 10-07-2004, 08:09 PM   #5
    kinwolf
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Thanks a lot for the advice. I told my mom and dad that he was checking me out and about the rum. My dad told me that he would have talk with him. (We had this problem with another friend of the family and talking to them fixed it). He hasn't got a chance to talk to him about it yet.

    The other night the 25 year old came over (which is strange because he normally only comes over on Sundays) while my dad was gone and starting talking to me again. We just had a normal conversation this time, except for a second when he asked me when I was turning 18. After I told him about ten months the conversation went back to his plans for Halloween. It looks like I might be going over to hang out at his house for halloween. Not sure what do yet.

    When Sunday comes around my dad plans on talking to him.

     
    Old 10-07-2004, 08:35 PM   #6
    Soulcatcher
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Girl your treading in deep waters here! After the red flags your willing to go to his house for a Halloween party? You may be giving this guy signs that your a little more grown up than he thinks. I was abducted once a long time ago for putting myself in a situation that I thought (keyword there "thought") I was smart enough to handle. He brings you alcohol, goes behind your parents back, asks when you turn 18...so your LEGAL! Hello Miss Thing......Wake up. Once your 18 sounds like he will use you and put you away wet! Your father needs to have the talk with YOU! Be careful.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 05:18 AM   #7
    JinL
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Alert.

    He gives you rum, that is a crime.
    He wants to have sex with you, that is a crime in most states.

    He sounds like bad news.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 05:33 AM   #8
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kinky_werewolf
    Thanks a lot for the advice. I told my mom and dad that he was checking me out and about the rum. My dad told me that he would have talk with him. (We had this problem with another friend of the family and talking to them fixed it). He hasn't got a chance to talk to him about it yet.

    If I remember right you said that you loved him The thing I am confused about is that you are telling your parents about him like he is a preditor to you and you want it to stop. If that is true then I dont see how you can love hi like you say.

    When I mentioned talk to your parents I meant in the manor in seeing what their thoughts are about a relationship. Personally I think 25 is to old for 16 but thats my intake on it. You need to decide what you want at this point and talk to them more about it.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 09:06 AM   #9
    elatedgiraffe
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    I'm pretty sure once your Dad has a talk with him that you won't be going over to his house on Halloween. Enjoy hanging out with your friends that are your age.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 09:35 AM   #10
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
    I'm pretty sure once your Dad has a talk with him that you won't be going over to his house on Halloween. Enjoy hanging out with your friends that are your age.


    Good call

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 09:47 AM   #11
    susieq0726
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    He gave booze to an under-aged person. At his age, most states would consider him a pedifile. I would be very surprised if your parent's stay friends with him after this.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 09:54 AM   #12
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by susieq0726
    He gave booze to an under-aged person. .


    Bingo.....Thats was the point I was making in my first post susie. I am in the same boat as this guy is but I am little younger and I dont feed my GF booze nor after her for one thing.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 10:22 AM   #13
    kinwolf
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Thanks for all the advice. I guess I am a bit confused about my feelings. I just got out of a very bad realationship about a year ago. I didn't think that it would have long term effects but it seems it did. I guess I am just looking for love right now. I know I did the right thing going to my parents.

     
    Old 10-08-2004, 10:53 AM   #14
    eightball61
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    Re: I'm 17 and he's 25

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kinky_werewolf
    I guess I am just looking for love right now. .

    You can love anyone you choose but its the "real" feeling of love that puts you into a good mind set for the right one. Don't rush these feelings. I know you got over a bad break up but enjoy the single world and youth before you decide to move on to love. If a guy comes along between know and then thats great but just go with the flow.

     
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