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  • Can't attract the pretty girls!

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    Old 07-09-2005, 11:00 PM   #1
    ToughMan2007
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    Can't attract the pretty girls!

    Whats up ppl, I'm having a little problem with girls. Whenever I go out somewhere I NEVER attract pretty girls. The only girls that ever like me are the ones that are not too attractive or pretty. Sometimes, I get a lot of attention from the unattractive girls, but why can't I ever get attention from a girl that I like or that I'm attracted to. Am I just attracive to the ugly girls and ugly to the girls that I like? I've NEVER had a decent relationship with a girl that I really like b/c it seems like I'm only attractive to the girls I don't like. I go and talk to the girls that I like and try to get them to like me, but they never seem interested in me at all. Its always the unattractive girls that I get attention from. Any advice or help would be much appreciated.

    Last edited by ToughMan2007; 07-09-2005 at 11:03 PM.

     
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    Old 07-10-2005, 07:18 AM   #2
    ethera
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    I had the same problem in high school...seemed like the girls I liked weren't interested, and the ones that were, I wasn't interested in them...what an awful circle!

    It sounds like you're more outgoing than I was...at least you try to talk to the girls you like; I rarely did that.

    Sometimes I thought the ones I liked were just shy like me, but I did not often test that theory...and nor did they.

    Had the same problem in college: none of the girls I liked seemed to pay much attention to me...then there was one girl that I wasn't really interested in who always seemed to be hovering around me...I began to feel like she was keeping the other girls ( that I actually liked ) away

    I finally met a girl I could deal with...dated then lived together for 2 years, married for five years.

    My advice to you would be to do what you can to improve or enhance your appearance ( experiment: for example, if you need braces, try to get braces. what type of haircut/style looks best on you? )...subtle details can make a difference, if only starting with how they make you feel ( better ).

    Exercise regularly. Do strength training and cardio.

    Dress in clothes that make you feel good, no need to be pretentious.


    Also try not to obsess about sex and women. You will be calmer, more self assured, and more patient ( that's another thing: don't ever feel like you have to 'settle' for anyone ). That's attractive to women.

    Even if it means remaining alone for a time, You will feel better about yourself if you do not settle for someone, and instead eventually pair with someone by choice.

    Last edited by ethera; 07-10-2005 at 07:19 AM.

     
    Old 07-10-2005, 10:53 AM   #3
    RiotGirl00
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    Sorry but that seems very shallow of you.
    You can't judge a person based on what they look like. Just because a girl is "pretty" doesn't mean that she's the right girl for you. She could be the prettiest girl in the world, but if you don't have anything in common, then what's the point?
    Physical appearence shouldn't affect your relationships that much.

    I don't think there is such thing as a physically "ugly" person.. but that's just how I see it. If you're ugly, then you're ugly on the inside (because you do terrible things to hurt people, etc,etc.)

    You never know what you're missing out on by rejecting those other girls you claim are so unattractive. Just because some girl isn't 100% what you're looking for physically, doesn't mean that she can't make you really happy in so many other aspects... if you only gave someone a chance.
    And I guess the reason you've never had a decent relationship is because you tend to go for the wrong people and for the wrong reasons.

    I know a lot of guys who tell me I'm "pretty" and hang around me constantly because of that reason. I personally find it annoying because they only look at my appearence. They have no clue what I'm really like.
    I don't really look at a guy just based on what he looks like and determine whether I want to date him or not.
    A lot of guys people see as "unattractive" come out to be really nice. I'm sorta friends/acquaintances with a few guys like that, who never get girls because they're not "hot"... but honestly, those guys are some of the coolest people I've ever met.

    So yea... I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't judge a book by its cover.
    Cheesy I know, but it's the truth. Give those other girls a chance and you could be pleasantly surprised.

     
    Old 07-10-2005, 02:18 PM   #4
    ToughMan2007
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    Thanks for the advice. But not only do I go for the outer appearance, I guess I forgot to add that in my first post but I understand what you're saying. I do understand that it can also be the inside that counts. For example, not only do I try to go with the girls that are pretty, but I also want them to stay neat and clean and carry themselves like a young lady should. I don't want a **** type girl who will try to go out with every guy she sees, I don't care how pretty she is. I had a friend who was going out with a girl. One day, they were getting along and talking, but after a few months had passed, we found out his girlfriend was pregnant by another guy. Thats the type of girl I wouldn't want to go out with, pretty or not. But anyway, thanks again for the help, I guess I will try to give those girls a chance. They are pretty nice to me when I say something to them.

    Last edited by ToughMan2007; 07-10-2005 at 02:22 PM.

     
    Old 07-10-2005, 02:29 PM   #5
    RiotGirl00
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    Yea, that does tend to happen to people.
    I don't know what they're thinking when they decided to be all s***** and whatnot, but I guess some people don't care about themselves.

    Well, it's good that you're not just looking at their physical appearence, because that alone won't get you anything in a relationship.
    I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months... and even though I went for him mainly because I was physically attracted to him, I learned that there's sooooo much more than that to consider.
    I later found so many things about him that were irritating and I didn't like. But then we grew together; and we grow together more everyday, learn all these new things about each other, and help each other become a better person.

    There's way too much to consider when it comes to a relationship. After a while you forget about the physical stuff and focus a lot more on personality.

     
    Old 07-10-2005, 07:48 PM   #6
    ethera
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    But appearances ( and maybe demeanor ) are usually what get you in the door,

    so that you get a chance to show the person you're interested in more about what you're like.

    Trying to just wing it on personality alone doesn't often work. You've got to have other traits and talents to go with it.


    I suppose guys are more visually stimulated than girls, when it comes to attraction, but I have learned to not underestimate attractive girls responsiveness to appearance and/or physicality.


    If I am looking for a partner, I am looking for someone who keeps my attention, so that I am less interested in other potential mates.

    I don't have to have a stone/ice-cold-super-hot-model, but I have to be physically attracted to them, and want to be seen with them.

    That's my side of things; then there's the other side(s).

    Last edited by ethera; 07-10-2005 at 07:59 PM.

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 12:03 AM   #7
    Red-M&M
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    None of that matters. Being a cool popular guy or the inside crew. Let me just suggest something. You attract the not so pretty girls becuase when you are around them your not trying to impress them. So you lean back,your body language is at its peak, the girls pick up on it and they zone in on you. Now when you get near a really hot girl,you completely change. You start to get nervous,your body language changes to try to impress her. You might be leaning back in your chair legs and arms spread,taking up a bunch of space,but when you see that hot girl you sit straight,lean forward and try to impress them. Next time your out,just lean back and dont CARE. There,i said it,dont CARE about girls. And dont TRY to get girls everytime you go out. When you go out use this mentality,im just gonna have fun with my friends, these girls walking by are just add ons. Girls come and go,so dont worry about it. Just lean back,be your own man. Your needs are always first.

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 02:18 AM   #8
    SamohtYug
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    take a chanse with the girls that hang around you

    as people have said they could be really cool!

    as they say:"dont judge a cd by its cover...unless it has a picture of a rapper, in which case we can rest assured it will be crap"

    Guy

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 12:13 PM   #9
    ToughMan2007
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    I've already been taught not to show any type of fear or nervousness around the hot girls. I used to be really nervous, but now I usually use the attitude that I use around the normal girls. It doesn't seem to be doing any good, but I would rather keep this mentality than to get all nervous and start sweating. Thanks for the advice though.

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 07:30 PM   #10
    Red-M&M
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    Re: Can't attract the pretty girls!

    maybe you talk to them too nice? or say things theyve heard 100times already? next time your with a pretty girl your interested in start teasing her about something she says or does. just flow with it,im sure any guy can do it. We're born with it, unless you were one of those people born with no humor or emotions =D

     
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