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  • Abusive boyfriend

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    Old 09-10-2005, 09:58 AM   #1
    snazzy-girl
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    Abusive boyfriend

    Iv bin with this guy for about a year an a half ,im 15 he 21 , he has bin gr8 most of the time ,its just he goes out drinking with his mates nearly every night and gets so drunk its scarey ,and always comes to me when he is blind drunk and pushes me about beats me somtimes aswell , he says he dosnt mean it , its the drink doing it to him ,when he is sober he is the nicest man u can meet , but when the drink gets inside all hell brakes loose , i love him so much and he says he fills the same way, he gets drunk at least 4 times a week , and always comes to me making my selfasteem low and he hits me if i dont do what he tells me , its so hard cause i love him loadz ,
    he beat me up really badly last week when he was drunk , and when he was sober again he said he was gonna give up drinking and he would change and i belived him and the next day i caught him in bed wiv another girl , he says it was just a fling and it ment nothing .
    i dont know if i can belive him anymore , i love him loadz and he loves me (so he says)
    im starting to think he could have bin with other girls aswell
    do ya think he can really change like that , im scared of getting hurt again .i cant go to friends and family for advise because they would flip if they knew i was going out with somone 6 years older,
    if you got any advise pleese give . xxxxxxx

    Last edited by snazzy-girl; 09-10-2005 at 10:02 AM.

     
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    Old 09-10-2005, 11:19 AM   #2
    mystiq86
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    His behavior is NOT acceptable!!! Dump his a** right now! Trust me, you are young and will find someone else who's a better boyfriend. If he truely loved you, he wouldn't beat you.

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 02:19 PM   #3
    gardenandcats
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Once a beater almost always a beater. things will not get better. You might end up dead it happens. your young find a nice guy your age.

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 03:27 PM   #4
    JinL
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    If you want to be beat to death someday then stay with him.

    Make him your ex boyfriend & tell him you have told your mother that he beats you, & if he ever comes near you again your mother will report him to the police.

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 03:35 PM   #5
    snazzy-girl
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    I know what you guys are saying , but it that when hes not drunk hes the nicest guy you can meet, and thats whats making me stay with him ,
    We had a huge argument 2day , cause he is going out 2nite and he promised me he wouldnt anymore . He ended up saying hes gonna get so drunk and he might not even come back again , i dunno if it was in the heat of the moment. i just hope he doesnt come bck 2nite cause im on my own babysittin, and i just cant face him 2nite
    this is a confusing relationship

    Last edited by snazzy-girl; 09-10-2005 at 03:41 PM.

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 06:07 PM   #6
    WeathermanGS1
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    You need to dump the loser! And yes, he is a loser if that's what he's doing to you. If you're 15, why the heck are you dating a 21 year old anyway!?

    -Greg

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 08:27 PM   #7
    Njoylife
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Hey snazzy-girl,
    Sorry to agree with everyone else but it's not love. You're just infatuated by an older boy giving you attention. Unfortunately, negative attention. Ask yourself these questions..do you want to spend your life with someone that not only beats you but lies and cheats on you? What if you get pregnant? If he doesn't want it will he beat it out of you? If you have a child will he take is anger out on the child? Do you really want a child to raise a child with a drunk, abusive father? Do yourself and your future a favor..lose the loser! Get a restraining order if your afraid of what he'll do. Trust us ..there's nothing you can do to stop his drinking, cheating or lies. Run as fast as your little legs will get you out.

     
    Old 09-10-2005, 09:42 PM   #8
    Tigergirl07
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Snazzy,
    If its a confusing relation ship drop it!!! its better for you in the long run trust me and who ever else tells you on this!!! also 15 gets him 20 in jail time just for even touching you if i were you i would report it... however thats just my oppinion you can still be "friends" but i wouldn't be more but thats just me...

    KIM

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 12:41 AM   #9
    snazzy-girl
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    you guys are right
    He came back last night so drunk , he didnt touch me though cause i didnt let him in.
    Iv now relised i dont want to be with someone like that , he said he would change but he isnt even trying , so i will tell him it is over , really scared though cause he will flip on me badly.
    i dont wanna get the police into it though cause if people found out ,what he did to me , they would really go for him , my dad would kill him , and go mad at me , i just got to many people who would kick his A** and i dont want that to happen.
    so its best i just keep it to myself , whatever happens.

    Last edited by snazzy-girl; 09-11-2005 at 12:41 AM.

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 06:58 AM   #10
    JinL
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    THEY DO NOT CHANGE for the better they only get worse.

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 07:22 AM   #11
    snazzy-girl
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    I just feel bad doing it , he has bin my longest relationship yet , a year an a half , its just really hard , im gonna go down his flat a bit later and tell him , awwwwwwww im scared, i know how he is gonnna react , not in the best of ways.

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 07:23 AM   #12
    last1
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Dear snazzy-girl: Here's the drill and JinL said it best, unless one day your goal is to beaten to death, then hang with this guy. Also, and here's my two cents, this guy is 21 and you're 15! In the states, we don't look too kindly on adult abusers of children and, while you may consider yourself mature, by the law you are a minor. Simply said, if the guy even dares to consider lifting a hand to you again, you have a moral responsibility to protect all the other girls he will abuse and he will abuse other women, drunk or not. Oh, and the drinking thing is just an excuse because, subconsciously, the guy is an abuser. And, yeh, you can bet your life if I was your dad this guy would be a dead man!

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 07:47 AM   #13
    snazzy-girl
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cflas
    And, yeh, you can bet your life if I was your dad this guy would be a dead man!
    Thats why i dont want to get people invoived , i dont even wanna think what my dad and brother would do to him .
    i met my boyfriend through my older brother and they dont get on as it is , i would just make it worse.
    plus the age gap , my family has always been so protecting of me , if i told them i feel they would hate me and i dont want thet to happen .
    he`s not the sorta person just to let go , he would flip thats why im scared to go round there.
    when we are on are own and he is sober , he is the nicest guy you can meet , hes lovely , its just when he starts drink and gets nasty .
    he has got a group of people who hate him who i know , i dont actully know why and if people like that found out,
    i just wanna run away and never come bck , that would save me hurting a few people.

    Last edited by snazzy-girl; 09-11-2005 at 07:48 AM.

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 08:39 PM   #14
    PrittyGreenEyez
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by snazzy-girl
    my family has always been so protecting of me , if i told them i feel they would hate me
    They are your family and the last thing they're gonna do to you is hate you. You are their daughter and the fact that they're so protecting of you shows how much they love and care for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't give 2 cents of bull who you were with or what he was doing to you. You need to let him go. Too many girls and woman die each day from abusive boyfriends. I had one boyfriend who on one occasion and one occasion alone playfully slapped me. I don't care who you are or where you come from...you DO NOT raise a hand to me in that manner. I can understand play wrestling and things like that, but this smack was out of the blue, standing around to where he laughed like it was funny. Well it wasn't...I have more pride in myself to let that happen again. You deserve better...ahem* someone your OWN age. Obviously this 21 year old is with you NOT because he loves you but because he knows he can manipulate you. You're such an easy target for him to prey on...you don't see it, but he does. You need to get out and get out fast. Don't go over to his place alone...you're just asking for even more trouble. It may not seem like it alot of the times, but the police are there to help. If you don't contact them, this scum is just gonna keep on doing what he's doing to you or even more if you get the nerve to leave him, he's gonna hit some other girl. IT's a cycle that NEVER changes. Don't fall for his crap. You're stronger than this and you can move on. You're 15 and there's plenty more of adoring fish in the sea that will treat you like the queen you deserve to be recognized as. Good luck and you are in my thoughts and prayers!
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    Last edited by redsoxcubbies; 09-11-2005 at 08:43 PM.

     
    Old 09-11-2005, 08:43 PM   #15
    flintrock
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    Re: Abusive boyfriend

    No, this is a bad relationship. First of all, he's too old for you. Second of all, if he's a nice guy when he's sober and turns into Mr. Mean when drinking, he has a serious problem...and a 15 year old can't help him. Believe me...he needs professional help....if you were my daughter, I'd keep you away from him....he's a very dangerous person and could make your life a living hell............

     
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