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  • Is something wrong with me

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    Old 03-29-2009, 11:14 AM   #1
    plc4
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    Is something wrong with me

    I find myself being very analytical and meticulous about any situation, especially the bigger and more significant decisions in my life. Other people say I think too much and that my thinking patterns (reasoning methods) are too complicated. Sometimes people don't understand what I'm saying to them and they get mad at me. I've been told I'm too introspective and philosophical. Are there any pills I can take to stop myself from thinking critically? I really want to stop thinking this deeply into situations.

     
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    Old 04-03-2009, 12:57 AM   #2
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by plc4 View Post
    I find myself being very analytical and meticulous about any situation, especially the bigger and more significant decisions in my life. Other people say I think too much and that my thinking patterns (reasoning methods) are too complicated. Sometimes people don't understand what I'm saying to them and they get mad at me. I've been told I'm too introspective and philosophical. Are there any pills I can take to stop myself from thinking critically? I really want to stop thinking this deeply into situations.
    It's a gift. Most people don't have the ability to think deeply or to remember complex lines of reasoning. You are very lucky you can. Instead of hiding your ability you need to make it grow by finding people who think like you do. Talk to some teachers, perhaps there is a debating club or you would find science a stimulating endeavor.

    When it comes to people, we are mostly emotional. Most ask themselves what they want and then create simplistic reason why they should have it. Of course such activity leads to ridiculous conflict and contradictions. You can spend hours endlessly guessing what they mean by what they say or do. The truth is they have no idea what they are doing, so its unlikely you will ever figure them out. I suggest you stop devoting time to worrying about people's motives and instead pursue activities where analysis can yield good returns. Meantime, just have fun with people and accept their contradictions as normal.

    Last edited by orion; 04-03-2009 at 12:59 AM.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 06:09 PM   #3
    plc4
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Thanks Orion for the reply and for saying it is a gift. I asked on a mental health forum and I was told to seek out a professional in my area for a diagnosis. I'm glad I can get these great replies on this website, instead of bs like that. =)

    And, I think you're right...I'm currently a chemistry major in university and find myself really loving the subject material. I do think that science is a good fit for me.

    Quote:
    Most ask themselves what they want and then create simplistic reason why they should have it.
    I think this is a great point. It's essentially the reverse thought process of what I have. I have a reason first, such as "My shoes are tearing". Then it follows that I need to get shoes...not the other way around.

    I guess while I'm already sort of unloading about this... I have this added problem where I have deep reasoning processes for things (I suppose they are deep?). I know I can't explain "why" I did something, or "why" I chose something over another thing without confusing the other person. So I lie about "why" in a simpler way. I feel really bad about it during and afterwards. I have not lied about anything serious, but I still don't want to lie about trivial things anymore. How do I stop that? Thanks to anyone who answers

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:23 PM   #4
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by plc4 View Post
    I guess while I'm already sort of unloading about this... I have this added problem where I have deep reasoning processes for things (I suppose they are deep?). I know I can't explain "why" I did something, or "why" I chose something over another thing without confusing the other person. So I lie about "why" in a simpler way. I feel really bad about it during and afterwards. I have not lied about anything serious, but I still don't want to lie about trivial things anymore. How do I stop that? Thanks to anyone who answers
    There are different kinds of lying, some is really quite necessary. For example your aunt is wearing her favorite hat, but you absolutely hate it; she asks how you like it. Of course you can tell the truth and say its the worst hat you have ever seen. However, such a reply can easily hurt her and for no real reason than you had this idea that you have to be totally honest. Social lying is necessary to avoid hurt feelings when the lie does no real harm. So I'm saying you can't stop using such lies in your life; unless you plan to be hurtful no matter what comes. There is no need to worry about such lying because it helps our societ function on a personal level and does no real harm. It's much nicer to have our aunt happy and feeling good than to ruin her day for your philosophical needs to be met.

    Lies of omission, such as not saying the whole detailed analysis that lead you a particular decision are also considered reasonable so long as the lie isn't meant for personal gain. Shortening the explanation, or changing it slightly to make interactions with people easier is just fine.

    Lies of commission, where you purposefully attempt to lead someone to believe something false are usually considered bad form and are to be avoided. However even these might be fine, as in tricking a bank robber into giving up his gun.

    In general you should convert your time for worry into time for action and not be concerned about small things that really have no consequences. Keep your eye on the big things, and life will be a whole lot more fun.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 09:35 PM   #5
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Thanks again for the response. I agree with what you said about the different types of lies, and with your aunt example. I suppose that most of the ones I tell are white lies (omission). I just didn't want to make a habit of it. I don't worry a lot, but I'm not too carefree either. People say I need to be less intense but I think that would make me very unhappy. The only way I get anything done is to be intense. Life is basically intense for me...I don't know how I can loosen up, how do I do that?

    I do find life to be sort of fun, I suppose, but not most of the time. I don't really know what the end goal of life is. I see no real point, but I just keep doing things like a robot anyways.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:08 PM   #6
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by plc4 View Post
    I do find life to be sort of fun, I suppose, but not most of the time. I don't really know what the end goal of life is. I see no real point, but I just keep doing things like a robot anyways.
    Well, nobody knows what the point is, but many people have speculated about it; and many have died over it.

    From a scientific point of view, life is a search for answers and that search can be very rewarding on many levels. Of course the search takes many forms including discovering someone you love and want to spend your life with, or just enjoying the simple pleasure of sun tanning on a hot beach. Is the search useful? We don't know for sure, but I would hate to arrive at the destination having never tried to understand the world around me. If there is no final destination, then you have lost nothing in the trying and possibly gained some great happiness. If you find someone to share it, all the better.

    Remember life is a journey, not a destination.

    Live long and prosper.

    Last edited by orion; 04-03-2009 at 10:09 PM.

     
    Old 04-03-2009, 10:16 PM   #7
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    I hope this doesn't start an argument, but I don't exactly understand what you mean. We all turn to ash and dust in the end. We are but specks in evolutionary time...not even specks, really. I've been told several times to find someone to love and I will "feel better". I'm 18 and will probably not start looking for someone to love until I'm around 30. I should at least finish school and get a career started. These are my goals, but I still ask myself why? Why do I pursue these goals when really, I'm just going to turn to ash and dust and decay in the end? Why do we bother? I still don't understand.

    I can see why people seek out the joys in life, and live for those moments of happiness, but what are those moments? I don't think I've lived through those before. It possible that through great effort I may gain one millisecond of happiness, but it is more likely that I will just fail...and what is failure, in the end, if there is no ultimate success?

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 09:50 AM   #8
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    It's possible we are the only intelligent beings in the whole universe. If so, then perhaps our evolutionary speck is the most important thing that ever happened and you are lucky enough to be part of that - we simply don't know yet. Will you throw away your part in the universe because you assume you are just a speck in time? What if the assumption is wrong? Perhaps its better to assume positive things and participate in the investigations to determine what is happening. One thing for sure, we know almost nothing about the world yet, there is a lot of work to be done to find out.

    We have a logical side but also an emotional side. You need to nurture both. The logical side you help by study. The emotional size you help by interacting with people. You make an effort to go where people are, meet people and take time to get to know them. In this way you lay the foundations of personal relationships - friendship, sharing, giving, sacrifice and love. It's not about calculating, "if I give a free movie ticket, then he will give me a ride home." It's about allowing yourself to be vulnerable, allowing yourself to be open enough that you might be hurt emotionally, allowing yourself to have fun. I once read that the amount you grow as a person is directly proportional to the amount of embarrasment you are willing to allow - I believe that is true. One can't grow emotionally by hiding; not that its easy to grow, but it can be very rewarding. So don't feel that you can wait for love at 30, or any age. Instead treat life like a journey and be prepared to sample what it has to offer. Sometimes that taste will be bitter, but the sweet is also there - do it all. If you find love tomorrow, then its a gift, why would you reject it? Learning to love starts with learning to love yourself where you come to understand you are not perfect, but that's just fine. Then you can see past other's imperfections and enjoy what is good with them. I once read, love is not blind, but instead allows one to see past the rough surface to the diamond below.

    No one can promise you an ultimate success - but the journey may well be worth the trip.

    Last edited by orion; 04-04-2009 at 09:52 AM.

     
    Old 04-04-2009, 12:04 PM   #9
    plc4
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    Re: Is something wrong with me

    Quote:
    If you find love tomorrow, then its a gift, why would you reject it?
    I never said that I would reject love if I found it tomorrow. I said I won't be looking for it actively until 30. Not looking for something proactively is not the same as rejecting it if it shows up at your doorstep.

    Quote:
    Learning to love starts with learning to love yourself where you come to understand you are not perfect, but that's just fine.
    I'm not perfect. I was born flawed. At whatever age I first developed self-awareness, I also developed awareness of my inevitable flaws. We all have flaws, there are no "perfect beings". I honestly didn't know there was a process to learn to love oneself and to understand that one is not perfect. I believed, until this point, that these abilities were innate.

    Quote:
    Will you throw away your part in the universe because you assume you are just a speck in time? What if the assumption is wrong?
    I don't see the point in being dead, so I won't be throwing myself away. However, it's still a logical assumption. I've never heard anyone assume they were more than a speck, except those who are extremely conceited and think that they can turn the universe on its head. The assumption is not wrong.

    Quote:
    Perhaps its better to assume positive things and participate in the investigations to determine what is happening.
    Perhaps. Or we could assume realistic things. At some point the universe as we know it, has to end. It will reach 0 entropy. When all is disorder at the molecular/atomic level, there can be no more chemical reactions -- including those that sustain life. No matter how many interpersonal relationships, or how much of an understanding of the world we've obtained as humans, this is inevitable and makes anything we can do, completely negligible.

     
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