My boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me...

01-16-2013, 08:07 AM

I`m 17 and I have been with this guy for almost 2 years. He`s my first boyfriend and I`m his first girlfriend. We really love each other and we spend a lot of time together...that`s the problem. he`s more outgoing than i am and he wants to spend more time with his friends. i don`t mind that, but sometimes i get a bit upset when he chooses to do certain things or to spend certain days with his friends over me. i know that`s wrong and i try not to be upset and i always apologize to him if i make a problem bigger than it actually is. i dont get upset that easily now, but i think he got tired of my apologies. a few days ago we got into an argument and he said i don`t apreciate the things he does for me and that i make him waste his time. since then we haven`t spoken by his request... i got tired and today i asked him if he wanted to break up, he said he doesn`t want to, but he`s not really sure. he also said that i shouldnt talk to him until he decided.
this may seem immature, but he`s very important to me and i dont want things to end like this.
what sould i do? sould i break up with him or should i leave him alone until he decides to talk to me?

04-27-2013, 07:00 AM

Spending time with someone you love, especially a first love is very important. However the experiences you have outside of your relationship (with friends/family) can make your relationship better. It gives you something to share with your boyfriend. All of your experiences and adventures are what helps make you the person you are and become as an adult. You don't have to be super social...just hang out with one friend. Go to the movies, the mall or go bowling. When you and your boyfriend spend time apart it gives you both an opportunity to grow and have something to bring back to your relationship. I am a mom now and have teenagers myself, but I too was in an intense relationship when I was your age. I was with my boyfriend from the end of 9th grade to after graduation. We planned to marry, but didn't. I was the one that wanted to spend time with friends and he didn't want me too. I felt smothered and we fought alot. That is what eventually did us in. In a total of 3 1/2 years I spend 4 times with my girlfriends without him. That is not much time with friends. I urge you to go out and have fun with a friend. It will make you happy in the long run and your boyfriend will see that and be happy too. I hope my advice helps...I may be a mom...but mom's and dad's go through the same stuff.

04-27-2013, 11:53 AM

Don't feel bad, it's not immature at all. You're at an age when all of those feelings are way more intense than they ever will be again in your life. So it's normal to feel that way. It does sound to me like he is being a little but unfair if he keeps going out with his friends and doesn't want to even talk to you much less spend any time with you.

So I agree with the previous post that you should also spend time with your friends too just to have some girl time and to help not be so dependent on him for your social needs. If you can learn how to effectively balance a relationship with your own independent social life too then you'll be way ahead of the game when you get older. There are a lot of people out there who never learn how to do that so they make their bf or gf their entire social life. All that ends up happening then is that when they break up the person who stopped hanging out with their friends is totally lost and doesn't know what to do with themselves anymore. If you learn how to be your own person outside of the relationship, you will be a stronger and more confident person in general and you will be a lot more comfortable when he goes out with his friends too (cause you will have your own plans so you'll be busy enough that it won't be a big deal).

My boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me...

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