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    Old 10-12-2014, 05:01 PM   #1
    justdreaming
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    Question Parental Problems

    So I'm pretty close to my dad. We get along fine. When it comes to my mom, it's like we can hardly ever get along. She is constantly pointing negatives out in me like whenever I have acne or if she doesn't like my outfit, she'll just tell it looks bad. She puts a ton of pressure on me about my grades, even though I make good grades, and doesn't understand my sense of humor. She thinks I'm' being mean when I'm not trying to be at all.

    Now for both of my parents; they don't support my sport:horseback riding. I love it and I'm really dedicated to it. I got a job just so I could pay for horse stuff, and I save up my money for it. My mom pays for lessons and she takes me, but she does so sort of begrudgingly. Like she could be doing better stuff with her time. She doesn't understand how important this is to me, and neither does my dad-although he's better about it.
    I'll be trying to tell her something about riding and she'll just ignore me
    Or go "um-hmm." That sort of hurts my feelings since she acts so interested in my brother's football and baseball and my skater's gynmastics and softball.
    I tried writing her a letter about it an she just talked to me about it and went right back to her old ways.
    I just want to be close to my parents and have them at least somewhat support me emotionally-not just financially.
    Maybe I sound spoiled or snotty, but what would you do?

    Last edited by mod85; 10-13-2014 at 12:56 AM.

     
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    Old 10-12-2014, 06:35 PM   #2
    Seraph
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    Re: Parental Problems

    I don't think you sound spoiled or snotty...you are looking for approval and validation from your parents. This is normal, and it is sad if you don't feel that you have that from them. It sounds like you are the family "square peg" - a bit different than the rest of your family. As you get older, hopefully you will feel that your folks did the best that they could with the skills they had. Does your horse riding have events or competitions? I just ask this because it is easier for parents to become involved and supportive if there are things they can watch and root for you. I guess the sports your siblings follow do have these, so it gives your folks a chance to be part of it. Horse riding is a more solo effort so it is hard to engage the interest of others when they only hear about it. Continue to enjoy it tho, even if you don't get parental involvement. Your mother is actually supporting you by paying for it and seeing that you get there...don't overthink this; yes, maybe it is a bit of a chore for her to drive you around, but she is doing it.
    As to the "negativity" you perceive, this is her way to deal. More of a glass-half-empty sort of person. She will bring her own personality, past history, life experiences into any dealing with you. Is she harder on you than on your siblings? Probably not...this is who she is. Try being affectionate with her; often life rushes by and we forget to show our love for family. A hug or two every day can go a long way. She will never appreciate your humour. She has no irony bone. This is not a criticism; you either have it or you don't and someone who doesn't will always miss the funny bit and only hear the words. Don't sweat this one, I bet you have a real funny sneaky sense of humour, and you will find a better audience for it. You will get through all this, and become the great adult that you are meant to be. Cheers, Sera

     
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