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I just don't care anymore.

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Old 12-30-2001, 02:59 PM   #1
Brandon's Mom
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I just don't care anymore.

Seems like I can't break this mood that I have been in lately. I have everything in the world to be thankful for, a husband that loves me, two kids that are healthy for the most part(except one that had ADHD). I Just feel like burying myself under my covers in the mornings and not going out. I don't even remember my thyroid meds half of the time. I am a stay at home MOM and never get out. I can go when I want but thing is I can't bring myself to leave lately. I am so moody, have aches and pains in my body that Dr can't explain. I lose my temper more than I care to admit. I know my marriage is suffering cause of this and believe me when I say sex is the LAST thing on my mind. Will there EVER be any hope? Will things ever change????? I know I have to be the one to change them but I have no more will to fight. I am tired. Sometimes I just want to lay down and die. I know its so SELFISH to say this cause I have kids that need me. Can anyone give me an ounce of hope? I have none left. This post sounds like it belongs on the depression board but since I am more familiar with you all here I would rather talk to you all. Thanks for reading.

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Old 12-30-2001, 05:06 PM   #2
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Re: I just don't care anymore.

First just let me say that you are not being selfish for having and writing these feelings. It is justifiable for you to get overwhelmed emotionally when you feel lousy physically. Especially when you don't feel well over a long period of time or worse when you are just finally starting to get back on track physically and then you have some kind of setback.

If I just had to look at the members in my family who have and are dealing with hypothyroidism, including myself, this tendency to want to 'bury ourselves' and drop out of life for a time is pretty common. Sometimes I feel personally, when I am in a setback or relapse of muscle pain and fatigue from my levels being out of whack, what I am thinking is depression is really anger. I am angry at my body for betraying me...yet again, at the doctor who cannot make me better, at my husband who also has this and he is doing just fine, and finally at anyone who is able to function day to day without having to worry did they take their pill today.
So I think the h--- with everything, I give up. And I have done that and probably will again. But between those times, it does level out to fairly okay stretches of life that is tolerable.
You have children to care for and a marriage to try and keep together which is a tough job by itself. And you are feeling like this.
When you are normally feeling allright, what interests you? Do you have any hobbies? What brings you pleasure?
After all is said and done and the holidays are over, children back to school and you still are feeling in the dumps, be nice to yourself and let your doctor know. Have you had your levels done recently?
I could ask lots of other questions but I have run on here...
Let me know how you are doing...I check in here all the time...take care, Karima

Old 12-30-2001, 05:39 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Emily70335 HB User
Re: I just don't care anymore.

I sure can relate!! <IMG SRC=""> Sometimes I feel this way too! I just hope you don't feel this way everyday. Go get your blood work done to see if you need a higher dose! If I am not on the proper dose I feel the same way! I am a stay at home mom too. That alone can make one feel insane. Get out of the house twice a week. Do you have a car? When I get out with the kids, I feel so much better. In the summer I take them to the park alot, and In the winter I find things to do. Go to the mall, or take them out for hot choclate and a donut. Kids love that kinda thing.

Hope you feel better! Chin up, things will get better. Tommorow is another day.

Old 12-31-2001, 07:40 AM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2000
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Re: I just don't care anymore.

Hang in there! My husband has expressed similar feelings. He is hypo and trying to get a handle on his medication. There are days when he is sad, moody and thinks we would be better off without him.

Keep taking care of yourself. Your family needs you and loves you. Maybe a call or trip to the doctor to see if you need more meds is necessary. I have read that some people with thryoid problems also need an antidepressant to help them feel better and put the "blues" behind them.

Don't give up! Talk to friends or family, write on the board - whatever it takes to help you feel better is worth it!

Wishing you a happy, healthy new year!

Old 01-02-2002, 06:16 PM   #5
Brandon's Mom
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Re: I just don't care anymore.

Hi, Thanks to all of you who have been so kind with all of the suggestions and all of the kind words. I relaly appreciate it! I do have a car, but sometimes hubby keeps it, although I can take it anytime. Lately I haven't been out cause I have a three yr old son who has these tamtrums in public when things don't go his way. So I kind of have been avoiding going out lately. I have some hobbies like reading and exercising but haven't done that in awhile but am thinking about it cause I know it makes me feel 100% better. I think we all can relate to that. I don't feel that bad every day and I do think its time for me to have levels checked again. Yes I too am angry and give up telling the DR about my symptoms and everything cause it seems like I am talking to a brick wall at times. Well its nice to have kind hearts to talk to, here on this board and that helped me tremendously. Thanks. And happy new year!

Old 01-03-2002, 02:08 AM   #6
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Re: I just don't care anymore.

Hi Brandon's Mom,
Happy New Year to you, too!

If that doc is not listening, there are some out there that will.
But did you ask the doc directly for a raised dose trial? Have you given him an objective list of your current symptoms? If you have and he refuses to listen, then perhaps you need a new doc!
What do you think?

As you know, part of training is to go out with the little one and deal with his tantrums.
You can teach him by making him sit on a chair for a time out when he gets home, every single time he misbehaves. I make my grandson take a time out if he has an outburst, and I tell him when he is done, then we can talk. I don't listen to that.

If he was promised any kind of treat(not a bribe) while out, then it is reasonable to tell him that because he is doing a bad job, now he can't have it. Make sure he has eaten and napped before going out.

AND, get a sitter, and go out by yourself! One of the best things I have done is go to a movie in the middle of the day, by myself!

I know when we don't feel well, we don't want to deal with anything, but it punishes you and leaves him still needing the correction, anyway. I know you don't feel like coping.
Unfortunately we still have to! I feel for ya! TF

Old 01-03-2002, 07:33 AM   #7
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Karima HB User
Re: I just don't care anymore.

I agree with getting a baby sitter at least once a week so YOU can get some time to spend doing whatever you want. If expenses are tight and you cannot manage this, then can your husband take over for a few hours one night or maybe on the weekend?
My daughter had 3 children in 5 years. Before I moved to Florida, she spend the first 2 years struggling with babies and her husband who worked constantly couldn't help much. By the time I got here she was expecting her third. We learned together the problem of dealing with one pre-schooler that would wait until we were out to have one of his attention getting tantrums. Yes, it was aggravating to have to leave where we were, round up the other 2 children and go home when he started but it did pay off.
The best solution really is separating this child, putting him on a chair, letting him know why he is in that chair and later you will have a talk with him. As TreeFrog said to make sure he has eaten and had a nap before going out is important.
Several times when we had to come home, I would then stay there with him and she would leave with the other 2 for about an hour. He was furious for the first few times she left but it's amazing how those young brains get the message pretty quick. Once I videotaped him when he didn't know it while having one of those 'fits.' Today he is 11 years old and I tease him that if he doesn't behave, I am going to take out that tape and play it for everyone! Believe it, he is an altar boy!
And lastly, be sure your labs have recently been done.
P.S. I almost forgot to mention, if you belong to a church or synogogue, often you can find help with baby-sitters or even volunteers who can step in and give you a break. Many even offer childcare at the church for a small fee or swap for volunteer services.
Best wishes, Karima

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