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    Old 10-31-2010, 06:56 AM   #1
    Shelley48
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    Loneliness and depression with this illness

    Please help

    After RAI and BEFORE too actually, I was soooo unwell and could barely get up some days.

    I was, as most of you know, with this disease, that the fatigue was unbearable.

    The palpitations and fatigue and shakiness was too much to bear and as a result I ended up staying home, keeping to myself, having such body aches etc.

    Even going to my weekly sewing / quilting class was a lot of fun but really took it out of me.

    Im really sad how ones own family can seem to turn against you when ill. If a member of my family is ill, I am there all the time. I love and nurture.

    Note once whilst been so ill has my son eva bothered with me. He is 23 years old - has always been a 'nice boy' and a 'good guy' BUT last week he physically pushed me around.

    I am so devastated!! He said im MAD and going to send me to 'a place' for mad people.

    Yes, im not well and dont socialise too much. BUT im always there for him and his girlfriend. I try so hard to please them even when really unwell.

    If I had a big mouth and performed all the time etc. I would understand to a degree BUT I show loads of love and concern and expect the same in return.

    Maybe I expect too much but I dont nag etc.

    How did this happen?? We were such a close family.

    Hence I have severe depression at the moment and really dont want to move. In fact I think i should move out on my own.

    There is instigator behind all this and that is the grandmother of my son. BUT I brought him up NOT to be like that.

    Sorry to babble but I cant believe this has happened to me and my son.

    Thank you
    Shelley

     
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    Old 10-31-2010, 08:03 AM   #2
    tigger67
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illnes

    I have experienced the same thing and understand your anger. When I was first diagnosed with hypothyroidism my family and friends were supportive and sympathetic. Three years later I'm still not feeling any better and I've been abandoned by everyone, including my parents.

    It seems to be human nature to want to be around only happy people. My feeling is that people would rather stick their heads in the sand and pretend life is always wonderful than to face reality. I've been told I need to stop focusing on my health and just accept my limitations and go on with life. I've been compared to someone in a wheelchair. Well, that person in a wheelchair can't be fixed, but I can!! Plus, our conditions just keep getting worse if not treated, so to stop focusing on getting better is just handing us a death sentence.

     
    Old 10-31-2010, 08:32 AM   #3
    Shelley48
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illnes

    Thank you Tigger
    I have tears because just this word of acknowledgement and sympathy helps.

    I really do try to do things and have gotten beta in many areas but am really knocked down again - just as I thought I was doing well.

    Its actually a joke to some family members now. I CANT believe it. I have explained to some of them how long it would take to start to get beta and that im sorry im not always there for them - even tho I do what I can and more, no matter how ill im feeling.

    I have given to my son so much - in compensation too I think - but I seem to think that he feels that he is sick and tired of this 'person' who is not like she used to be and he cannot drain from her like he used to. Therefore, I give to him so much more financially now - but am always there for him emotionally.

    How could this terrible thing have happened. ??

    My family are my life and now im so down and lonely. Its actually almost unbearable at the moment.

    BUT with time and help from people like yourself, I will get beta - I think just the kindness in itself helps.

    Hugs to you and I sure am sorry you too have had it tough.

    Shelley

     
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    Old 01-21-2011, 01:11 AM   #4
    parisfaith1230
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    I can understand no one knows how u feel..have raised five kids on my own and over the last 5 yrs have just felt plain bad sick moody heart jumping and weak cannot even sleep .i have graves but trying to tell the kids all the symtoms they just think i am crazy have no idea what to do methimazole has made me gain weight and be even more sick and the options suck so not much advice but just fake it

     
    Old 01-22-2011, 07:36 AM   #5
    RUFUS100
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illnes

    Hi shelley,
    hang in there. I know it is so hard sometimes. Think happy thoughts. I have been in your shoes before and so have many here. You will get wonderful support on the boards. Know better times are coming.
    Have a good day,
    rufus

     
    Old 01-26-2011, 06:38 PM   #6
    Tracieblue
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    I have hyperparathyroidism disease with hypercaleamia. and i am to suprised how lonely it feels to have this friends dont come to see me anymore and my x who has my kids doesnt care he is still running me down being the one who is iresponsible due to sleeping and loss of memory i forgot my daughters birthday the other day he had a go at me. noone seems to understand so they dont come near me. i want to live a normal life but its so hard when ur sleepy all the time and cant even go out for lunch. i think its only me who understands who needs anyone else. but when people come to me with there problems do i pretend to care when they didnt care.
    lucky enough i got my specialist appointment today i hope she can let some light on all of this.

     
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    oregonbound (01-29-2011)
    Old 01-28-2011, 07:15 PM   #7
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    I am here with you all.

    My symptoms persists everyday and I'm just learning how to cope myself. My husband tries to give me as much sympathy as he can, but I don't think he truly understands. Other family members are not supportive, don't care, don't take interest...etc. My own mother says "Oh you're just lazy".

    I have no friends because I just have no interest in activities to make friends because of my anxiety. This entire illness has just cut me off from the world and has really stripped me of my personality and personal goals/desires in life. I'm tired of being tired, tired of being sick, tired of living in this body. I have started to loose a lot of my memory function and I think in a fog all of the time. I cry almost everyday because I hate living in this body. I wish I could be 7 again and remember what it feels like to feel alive.

    Last edited by oregonbound; 01-28-2011 at 07:16 PM.

     
    Old 01-28-2011, 09:07 PM   #8
    Tracieblue
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    I know and understand that all this is hard. i went to the specialist on wednesday and they found a lump on my thyroid. i wrote and told my mum and she didnt even return the email. noone seems to care or understand. i was thinking mybe they dont understand so they dont say anything, which we know is heaps worse than them saying something stupid or breaking down in front of you. even finding a support group for tumours or cancer you have to be diagnosed which i wont be for another month until all my tests are done. i guess this site and the people here are the closest thing i have found to a support group.
    its scary to think i could have cancerous tumour. i just wish i could wake up and it all be gone.
    oregon i do would love to be normal we jsut have to pray that it is goign to happen soon.

     
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    Shelley48 (03-26-2011)
    Old 01-30-2011, 12:34 PM   #9
    Shelley48
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    Thank you ladies!!!!

    Yes the support on this site really is wonderful and I feel such fabulous support.

    At least now, I know 'Im not the only one'.

    And of course I dont like to hear that others suffer, the support is invaluable.

    God Bless

    Shelley

     
    Old 01-30-2011, 04:59 PM   #10
    Tracieblue
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    i agree Shelley, while i dont llike to hear about other people goign through the same it a great help at the same time.
    Ive got my ultrasound today, to see if they can find out what the lump is in my neck. im a bit nervous about it but i know it has to be done.
    Has anyone had the scan with the dye in it ive gotto have that one tommorrow id like to hear about other peoples experiences with this.

     
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    Shelley48 (03-26-2011)
    Old 03-23-2011, 10:44 AM   #11
    Shelley48
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    One year after RAI and still wondering ?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by RUFUS100 View Post
    Hi shelley,
    hang in there. I know it is so hard sometimes. Think happy thoughts. I have been in your shoes before and so have many here. You will get wonderful support on the boards. Know better times are coming.
    Have a good day,
    rufus
    Have not been on this board for ages now but really appreciate all the support.

    Thank you XOXO

    And yes I have been hanging in there and lately feel a bit beta although still up and down.

    Had RAI a year ago now and although, as I say, up and down, I am so much beta than I was during this past year.

    I wonder EVERY single day as to WHY on WAKING I still have palps even tho im underactive now. Had bloodwork a month ago and was underactive.

    About 10 months ago I was awfully toxic and OVERACTIVE and that was AFTER RAI!!!!

    Then hit a period where I was JUST FINE! My heartbeat was 64 and I felt ontop of the world. Then I had to have more bloodwork since I became suddenly extremely fatigued. Was put onto thyroxine and cant seem to tolerate it. Not sure if I cant tolerate it or its just that im underactive. This I feel because after taking the tabs I have worse palps and fatigue.

    What a long story all this is

    Please can someone help me understand WHY I felt so much beta (suddenly) after RAI and then Neomercazole (as went into thyroid storm after RAI) and then after about a month this 64 beats a minute of my heart - BUT FELT ONTOP OF THE WORLD WITH NO PALPS OR FATIGUE AND THEN SUDDENLY - BAM IT ALL STARTED AGAIN AND I WAS SAID TO NOW BE VERY UNDERACTIVE.

    Many thanks

    Shelley

     
    Old 03-23-2011, 10:58 AM   #12
    cd37
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    Re: One year after RAI and still wondering ?

    So sorry to hear of your struggles.

    The intention of RAI is to completely destroy the thyroid which will eventually stop hyperthyroidism. The end result is hypothyroidism.

    The RAI treatment causes a flood of antibodies and thyroid hormones to be released and that is why you had thyroid storm afterwards (SO sorry you went through this)....sometimes, people are still hyper as the thyroid dies off and then things start to settle down - this is most likely when you felt good.

    Then, as hypothyroidism sets it, so do the symptoms...especially if your meds dose isn't appropriate.

    It's very important to work towards finding YOUR optimal thyroid levels, not just any level within the normal range. Palps can occur whenever our thyroid hormone levels aren't where they need to be.

    It does take work to find your optimal levels - keeping track of your labs/meds dose/symptoms but it is worth every effort.

    If your doctors are dosing you based upon TSH, this is a recipe for disaster....especially since you had RAI which causes increased antibody production...which suppresses TSH and can continue to suppress TSH for years after the treatment.

    I hope your doctors are running thyroid hormone tests for you at least every 6 wks. Those would be the FreeT4 and FreeT3 levels.

    We will gladly help you sort through everything if you post your labs here with reference ranges (they vary from lab to lab and it's important to see where your results lie within the range).
    __________________
    Dx'd Graves' June 2007..used ATD's, achieved remission Nov '09....went hypo Mar '10

     
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    Old 03-23-2011, 05:53 PM   #13
    RUFUS100
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    Re: One year after RAI and still wondering ?

    Hang in there shelley!! I don't know the answers to all your questions but have the faith. I am going through hypo and another increase in meds. I know my surgeon told me to stay with the same manufacturer on the meds to obtain the correct dosage. Some days are a struggle but we will all get there. Hopefully someone can help with your other questions. Have a nice day
    rufus

     
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    Shelley48 (03-26-2011)
    Old 03-26-2011, 10:11 AM   #14
    Shelley48
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    im really grateful for your input. It all helps so much and now im not alone in all this I find I feel a spark of excitement in trying to find my personal levels.

    Bless you and hope I too can be of some help.

    Shelley XOXO

     
    Old 03-26-2011, 10:24 AM   #15
    Shelley48
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    Re: Loneliness and depression with this illness

    Hi Traci

    Wondering how your results went for tumour??

    Thinking of you and really hope you are doing ok.

    Thanks for your kind words of help and its great to be on this Board to speak to all you people who are here for each other.

    Please let me know how your are doing

    Big big hug Shelley XOXOXOXO

     
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