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    Old 01-16-2004, 08:22 AM   #1
    cally22
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    coping with tmj

    Maybe it is just because i am so young, but does anyone else have a hard time coping with this problem? I don't mean to, but sometimes I get aggrivated and upset at the people who love me, because i am having a bad day with my tmj. They try to understand what is going on, but they just don't, and some of these people who love me, don't really believe that I could be in this much pain... They think I should go on with my life normally and act as if I am not in pain, and not complain, or tell anyone about what I am going through or when i am hurting. I feel as if they don't believe me, or that they are ashamed of my tmj.

    Well let me tell you ; its not as if what pain I am dealing with is hard enough, or that i have to watch much of my life fade on by without me being the active person I want to be, or that I have deal with other problems that are linked to my tmj (I just found out that I have ulsers in my esophagus, and stomach, that the doctor believes was caused from me not being able to chew food for the past 4 years; and since i can't chew i swallow food whole), but I also have to deal with unbelief, and people being ashamed? That is hard to swallow for an almost 18 year old. It's not as if i asked for these problems....

    Sorry I just needed to get some things out. Lately I just have been in a standstill, and my frusteration I guess got the best of me... Thanks to all who are out there that listen and try to help out...

    Cally22

    Last edited by cally22; 01-16-2004 at 08:26 AM.

     
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    Old 01-16-2004, 08:32 AM   #2
    SarahF
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    Re: coping with tmj

    You came to the right place. I understand COMPLETELY how you feel about how people relate to you.

    My favorite? "Oh you have a headache? I get headaches too."

    Uh-huh.... I'll switch with them anyday..

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 08:36 AM   #3
    cally22
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SarahF
    You came to the right place. I understand COMPLETELY how you feel about how people relate to you.

    My favorite? "Oh you have a headache? I get headaches too."

    Uh-huh.... I'll switch with them anyday..

    I can relate, and I love the, "how are you feeling... Oh well keep your head up, things can't really be all that bad." " just think you could have.........."

    I wish people would just realize....
    Cally22

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 08:39 AM   #4
    sunshine123
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cally22
    I can relate, and I love the, "how are you feeling... Oh well keep your head up, things can't really be all that bad." " just think you could have.........."

    I wish people would just realize....
    Cally22
    Whenever I tell my husband that I have a terrible headache, he tells me he has a headache too. No one "gets it" unless they've walked in our shoes!!

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 08:55 AM   #5
    saaraah
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    Re: coping with tmj

    oh, man.. can i ever relate. for the most part, my friends have been great at least the ones who understand the extent of my problems. for others, they dont get it -- "what do you mean, you have *another* headache? you always get headaches".

    once when i was asked to go out somewhere, i told the person i wasnt feeling well, and they replied, "so what". comments like that really hurt and make me feel like i must not be hurting *that* much, you know? i hate that people dont understand why i dont go out much and interact with people.

    it's hard for us young people because we're not *supposed* to be ill.. we're supposed to be young and agile and full of energy. therefore, people dont get it.

    - saaraah.

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 09:00 AM   #6
    cally22
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Believe me when I say that I know how you all feel!!!!
    Cally22

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 09:13 AM   #7
    PINKYPRISCILLA
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by saaraah
    oh, man.. can i ever relate. for the most part, my friends have been great at least the ones who understand the extent of my problems. for others, they dont get it -- "what do you mean, you have *another* headache? you always get headaches".

    once when i was asked to go out somewhere, i told the person i wasnt feeling well, and they replied, "so what". comments like that really hurt and make me feel like i must not be hurting *that* much, you know? i hate that people dont understand why i dont go out much and interact with people.

    it's hard for us young people because we're not *supposed* to be ill.. we're supposed to be young and agile and full of energy. therefore, people dont get it.

    - saaraah.
    I definitely relate
    People dont understand we have a
    medical conditon, our jaws are out of whack,
    dislocated. People think we are just stressed out when
    in reality we are stressed due to the pain.
    I don't talk to much about it at work even if I am
    in pain I keep it to myself. Just the other day
    a coworker asked how I was that they haven't
    seen me in a while and I told them about my tmj
    treatment they were like"OH WHAT A SHAME" Wow
    she says "ITs taking so Long" Like they really know
    what it's all about.
    Im like oh please spare me. How phoney and
    annoying can you be. They just can't relate so
    they don't understand how your mouth/jaw can
    cause these problems. It would help if this condition
    was considered a medical condition like anyother
    condition.

    PINKY

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 09:59 AM   #8
    Katie G
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    Smile Re: coping with tmj

    Amen to what everyone's said so far! Of course, we're all preaching to the choir here, but it's so good to have a place to vent and talk with someone who truly understands what we're going through. It took years for the medical community to believe that Fibromyalgia wasn't just "all in your head"; someday maybe TMD will be viewed the same way.

    Poor, poor pitiful me - I have both fibro and TMJ to deal with. Sometimes it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning. Pain levels for me are up this week, so I'm really feeling sorry for myself.

    Thank you all for listening/sharing,
    Katie G

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 11:16 AM   #9
    PINKYPRISCILLA
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Katie G
    Amen to what everyone's said so far! Of course, we're all preaching to the choir here, but it's so good to have a place to vent and talk with someone who truly understands what we're going through. It took years for the medical community to believe that Fibromyalgia wasn't just "all in your head"; someday maybe TMD will be viewed the same way.

    Poor, poor pitiful me - I have both fibro and TMJ to deal with. Sometimes it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning. Pain levels for me are up this week, so I'm really feeling sorry for myself.

    Thank you all for listening/sharing,
    Katie G
    Hi Katie

    Sorry to hear you do not feel well, How is your splint therapy going?

    Pinky

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 11:35 AM   #10
    Katie G
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    Smile Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PINKYPRISCILLA
    Hi Katie

    Sorry to hear you do not feel well, How is your splint therapy going?

    Pinky

    Hi again Pinky. My ortho seems very pleaseed with my splint therapy progress - says jaw muscles are loosening, bite is starting to align better, and jaw opening is increasing slowly. So I'm glad for that.

    I would say my headaches from TMJ are pretty much gone - occasional flare-ups, but nothing like it used to be. My neck pain comes & goes, as does shoulder pain. Jaw joint achiness is pretty much the same - pain levels at about 3 or 4 on a daily basis; better than 5 or 6 like it used to be.

    As my ortho says my problems didn't happen overnight, so I can't expect immediate changes now. So gradual changes are happening; I'm just an impatient person and want relief now. Once again though, it's tough to separate TMD from fibro pain, so I guess time will tell.

    Thanks for asking,
    Katie G

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 11:43 AM   #11
    PINKYPRISCILLA
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Katie G
    Hi again Pinky. My ortho seems very pleaseed with my splint therapy progress - says jaw muscles are loosening, bite is starting to align better, and jaw opening is increasing slowly. So I'm glad for that.

    I would say my headaches from TMJ are pretty much gone - occasional flare-ups, but nothing like it used to be. My neck pain comes & goes, as does shoulder pain. Jaw joint achiness is pretty much the same - pain levels at about 3 or 4 on a daily basis; better than 5 or 6 like it used to be.

    As my ortho says my problems didn't happen overnight, so I can't expect immediate changes now. So gradual changes are happening; I'm just an impatient person and want relief now. Once again though, it's tough to separate TMD from fibro pain, so I guess time will tell.

    Thanks for asking,
    Katie G
    I can relate, my neck, shoulders crack and pop sometimes in relation
    to the muscles being tense or loosening up.
    Stretching exercises help.

    Pinky

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 01:21 PM   #12
    SarahF
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Well I can say this here and no one will be phoney or fake:

    I hadn't had a serious headache since Monday morning. I was going on about 2 on a scale of 1-10. I'm back up to a 6 since just this morning.

    So I have this question... I had a locking episode on Wednesday - my first since my nightmare began this time around - I had not been in any significant pain and the locking wasn't painful and I was able to wiggle it loose.

    It is common for the inflammation/pain cycle to take until 2 days later for me to be hurting like this?

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 01:40 PM   #13
    TiffanyAnn
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    Re: coping with tmj

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cally22
    Maybe it is just because i am so young, but does anyone else have a hard time coping with this problem? I don't mean to, but sometimes I get aggrivated and upset at the people who love me, because i am having a bad day with my tmj. They try to understand what is going on, but they just don't, and some of these people who love me, don't really believe that I could be in this much pain... They think I should go on with my life normally and act as if I am not in pain, and not complain, or tell anyone about what I am going through or when i am hurting. I feel as if they don't believe me, or that they are ashamed of my tmj.

    Well let me tell you ; its not as if what pain I am dealing with is hard enough, or that i have to watch much of my life fade on by without me being the active person I want to be, or that I have deal with other problems that are linked to my tmj (I just found out that I have ulsers in my esophagus, and stomach, that the doctor believes was caused from me not being able to chew food for the past 4 years; and since i can't chew i swallow food whole), but I also have to deal with unbelief, and people being ashamed? That is hard to swallow for an almost 18 year old. It's not as if i asked for these problems....

    Sorry I just needed to get some things out. Lately I just have been in a standstill, and my frusteration I guess got the best of me... Thanks to all who are out there that listen and try to help out...

    Cally22
    Hi:
    I know exactly what you are talking about. I have said these same words many times myself. It's been discussed a great deal on this board as well. What I have finally decided is that the reason others cannot really understand what we are going through is because they have not had to deal with TMJ. I thought about when my dad had cancer. I watched him suffer terribly and I felt just awful for him but since I have never had cancer and haven't had to suffer through what he went through I didn't really understand all he was going through. While family members care about us they really have no common ground from which to understand what we are going through, if that makes any sense at all. I think it's easier for alot of people to just say it's in your head or just stop complaining and get on with it rather than trying to really grasp what is going on with you. For the most part people don't mean to be uncaring but often times it sure seems that they are.

    Hang in there, things will get better.
    Tiffany

     
    Old 01-16-2004, 04:26 PM   #14
    HoneyChild650
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    Re: coping with tmj

    If someone says, oh I have a headache or just take advil. Sometime's you just have to smile and say ok. Just let it go. And it's not that people don't care that you're in pain it's just that they have other things going on too. And you do have to find that strength inside of you to keep going. I know it's hard, and unfortuantly you're young so you shouldn't have to go through this, but you are. You just have to find that inner strength earlier than most people. It's really difficult to have deal with the pain we have and as often as we do, and you know if the people you love could take it away they would, but they can't. There are people there for you, sometime's you just have to give them a chance, but try and deal with this the best way that you can. Don't let it become so debilitating and take over everything you are. It's not your life, it's only part of it. Hang in there!!

     
    Old 01-18-2004, 02:12 AM   #15
    cally22
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    Re: coping with tmj

    dear Honeychild50,

    That really helps, believe me I know, I guess deep down that everything will be ok(hopefully) but some days are just worse than others!!!! It's hard for me to sometimes reach and find my inner strength, but I will never stop trying.. And I do still have hopes and ambitions, they have just been downsized a little bit.. And I too know my family/boyfriend loves me, but , i guess it is kind of hard to understand unless that person is dealing with it also.

    Thank you

    Cally22

     
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