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Plotting TTC- not romantic?


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Old 11-03-2005, 02:59 PM   #1
shamrockcb
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Plotting TTC- not romantic?

Hi there, I've been TTC for a few months now, and I'm wondering if any of you have issues with telling your husband when u are going to be fertile. He wants a baby as much as I do, but every time I explain that its the right time, he says that its not romantic, and that it will happen when it happens. Perhaps it is the way I deliver my message but I want to make sure that we BD during that time ya know? I've also tried educating him on the fact that there is only a short window every month but I think he believes its going to be easier Any advice?

PS, I'm such an organized person perhaps I'm putting too much planning into this? Its so hard not to though!

 
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Old 11-04-2005, 01:18 AM   #2
FairyMagick
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

Hi,
I think this is a subject that really needs to be brought up! I'm glad someone finally did. I think this happens when most couples. I had a simpler experience I would tell b/f my o test was + and he would act like a werido lol. I asked him about it, and he said it made him feel like it was a pressure thing I have decided not to tell him about the testing. I upset me at first, but then I realized so many men are like that. I am like you. I like things plotted out. But I gave that up regarding TTC. I'm going about it a bit different now. I am curious what other woman will have to say about this.

 
Old 11-04-2005, 04:34 AM   #3
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

Same here!!!! My DH doesn't exactly go weird, but it kind of makes things a little awkward and stilted between us. I guess from a man's point of view they HAVE to deliver to order (lol!) at a particular time and they have no control over when it is, so I guess it could be a little stressful! I too am quite organised and have spent the last 7 months being quite regimented about TTC, so now I have decided to go with flow a little more and not take it so seriously (easier said than done). DH is aware of when our fertile time is but we are trying to make it more fun and romantic anyway.

I'm so glad it's not just us feeling like this!

TB x

 
Old 11-04-2005, 07:44 AM   #4
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

phew! So glad I'm not the only one, thanks for responding I sincerely am going to try my best to "go with the flow". Hopefully the upcoming holidays will keep me so busy it will be easy to do that anyhow!

 
Old 11-04-2005, 08:18 AM   #5
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

This can cause stress to the men. Sometimes mine won't get off because he's under pressure. I am forced to tell him when its time because our schedules don't match so I would never get pregnant if I wasn't paying attention to the timing. My hubby has a good sense of humor though. It's my BD time and last night I told him get in here and do your duty and then get the heck out. I said I feel like a black widow spider. I use him up and then throw him away. Maybe its because we've been together for 14 years.

 
Old 11-04-2005, 01:15 PM   #6
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

I appreciate this thread. For the first few months, dh & I were both excited to bd during the right time, which was fun & romantic - but each month that didn't seem to work, so then it started to get stressful to him and he didn't enjoy having to "perform on cue". So he suggested we stop trying so hard. which I agreed to, but it was weird because we'd have a nice time, but afterward if I layed there, hips elevated, he would totally know that I was ov or trying.

What do you do? We both want a baby, we've tried calculating exactly, and tried a more passive approach, just making sure we bd around the right time. Nothing is working this time. Which is totally getting depressing because we got pg on our first try which was ectopic (tubal) and our baby would have been here a month ago. I was hoping to be pg before my original due date. Hoping for our first kid. Wishing you all baby dust.

 
Old 11-04-2005, 01:17 PM   #7
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

We have been ttc for over a year and when I did get pg finally I m.c what I do is not even tell him when I am ovulating I just know myself and dont tell him. Than I get him wanting sex and its more romantic for him maybe not for you being you know your ovulating but its better because my Dh just didnt want it when I told him I was ovulating of corse we do have sex when I am not ovulating so its not like he can pin point when I am!

 
Old 11-07-2005, 09:02 AM   #8
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

WOW!!

This is a great thread!!
I have learned that men have a time when they are ready to BD so if we can learn to push their BD time to our ovulation time that the BD timing should synchronize for both parties during your ovulation time.

I am trying this now and it is working around my ovulation time. B/F does not have a clue as to what I am doing. The last time I thought I was pg, he seemed alittle scared or something. so I decided that I will not tell and let it happen....

 
Old 11-07-2005, 06:18 PM   #9
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

I am soooo glad someone brought this up! My hubby is just as excited as me to TTC but he thinks it is unappealing if I mention this is the best time to bd. I think he feels to pressured. hahaha SOOOOO I take matters into my own hands and dress up in something nice for him or do something I know he can't resist. I make sure to do it before the important times and after too as well so he does not know when my fertile time was. I do not want him to think the only time he turns me on is when I want to bd. It is just that is the most important time. hahahaha

 
Old 11-08-2005, 02:23 PM   #10
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

Hi all,

I have exactly the same experience as my other half ha less interest the more I push for it. He says the "lets see what happens" comment all the time. It does take the romance out of the relationship planning but the window for pregnancy every month is only about 24 hours isn't it with a 25% success rate? Have to plan as it makes you feel like you are doing everything you can.

I need to learn to be a bit "less obvious" I think so that he doesnt feel the pressure too much.....

 
Old 11-08-2005, 08:33 PM   #11
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My dh will always say that he's just a "piece of meat" during our TTC fests...Another favorite of his is that I'm just "using him".

I can't help but to try and coincide with my O time, when I have that info available, ya know?

I think it's totally normal.

I told my dh that during my fertile time, if he wants it to be more fun or romantic or whatever, then we can alternate days to approach each other with whatever and however. Make sense? It helped.

*Tabitha*

 
Old 11-08-2005, 09:01 PM   #12
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Re: Plotting TTC- not romantic?

I couldn't imagine telling my dh, "I'm fertile. Let's hit the sheets!" LOL. When I went off the pill in August and we had decided we were going to TTC, I just bought the ovulation sticks so I knew when I was ovulating. Going off the pill itself already made me horny, but it was nice to know EXACTLY when you're ovulating. My fertile days, I made sure those were days we did the bd, but he never had a clue. That way, at least just one person is stressed over it instead of 2. I honestly think that if he knew that was "the time", he could have possibly had a hard time doing the "deed", just because of that pressure.

Good luck!!

 
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