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xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-16-2003 05:02 PM

a flat stomach...my one wish since age 10
 
hi...i was wondering if anyone could help me? as in advice, not putting me down or calling me crazy...
ever since i was 10 i have noticed i have a round stomach compared to everyone else. don't blame female anatomy, cause i was a twig at 7. i have tried every single diet in existance, and by 6th grade i was swapping diet tips with my health teacher.
i have tried...thousands of sit-ups, crunches, in-and-outs, ab rockers, ab belts, DOZENS of diff. pills, hanging by my arms to do sit-ups [groan], painful athletic training, obsessively keeping food journals [which depressed me; i ate more, then wrote that down, and repeat], "happy pills" so i wouldn't binge eat [does NOT work for me, trust me i've been on antidepressants since 7.] and all i ever end up doing is eating.
i already eat more than the other girls; but it's very healthy, organic, VEGAN [so atkins is IMPOSSIBLE, don't push it on me], low-fat, high-protein food. and then theres my 300cal fatfree snack break, but that's just cause i'm depressed with my stupid dieting. I HAVE ONLY HAD THE SNACK THERE FOR THE LAST 2 WK OR SO, SO THAT CAN NOT, I REPEAT NOT, BE THE PROBLEM I'VE HAD SINCE 10. i still get under 2000cal/day.
my teacher told me if i ate meat i would get a flat stomach. so last year i quit being veg for 6 mos, and *gag* ate chicken like 3 times a day. nothing.
OH, and i should mention i have a heart problem. so working out is very hard for me, i get winded very fast. and i cannot handle putting pressure on my ankles. regardless i do 1 hr. zero-impact cardio/day, 3x16 roman chair daily, and a full-body weight program m/w/f. NOTHING. i am getting smaller almost everywhere else, EXCEPT my stomach. i am still called "less pushin' for the cushion" and i am still asked if i am pregnant...
oh btw i just started taking primal defense, which is supposed to kill yeast/fungus in your body, and can trim inches off your waist. it helps a tiny bit with bloat but i still have an unstoppable appetite...

i guess what i'm trying to ask is...


how do you NOT crave sweets? [WITHOUT POPPING PILLS?] i have stevia, but when i cook with it everything is sour. i used the conversion chart, but the only way it is not sour is if i make a simple stevia-water drink...and that is NOT chocolate.

how do you STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH, and reduce down to 3 tiny meals a day like every f***ing other 15 y/o female on the planet? WITHOUT POPPING PILLS!! [i have tried EVERY MAJOR BRAND that was on the market last year, AND the year before that!! i was hooked on the damn things at age 13!!] sorry it just REALLY bugs me that while i pop pills and kill myself in a gym, these girls sit around, smoke pot, eat twinkies and STILL look like little strippers...

if i can control my eating i think i exercise enough that i SHOULD have a flat stomach in the next few mos. IF i don't eat as much, right?



p.s. sorry i sound like a b**** its just that every other post i make about my body i end up either getting yelled at, misquoted, or someone preaches atkins to me. thats why i'm a little on edge; i just want real answers. thanks

sillynilly 11-16-2003 05:51 PM

first off, let me tell you i know where you are coming from. I am 18 and I have been "bigger" then the other girls since I was about 12-ish. Been so my whole life, and still am I guess.

It's just the difference in genetic make-up i guess. You have the girls with the super fast metabolism, and then you have the girls w/ normal metabolism, and the girls who seem to have no metabolism at all. Crummy, but the facts of life.

I am not trying to preach to you. I am just another teen.

Can you give us some stats? We can help you more if we knew more about you.

Another thing: most 15 yr old girls I knew did not eat 3 tiny meals a day. If anything, they were constant grazers. They kept on eating random small things throughout the day. For a 15 yr old, 3 small meals a day is not healthy. Your growing and you need the food for that.

I suggest you talk to your doctor. Your doctor knows you the best and will be able to help you the best. If you have a medical condition, (s)he will be able to identify that.

The "pooch" as we fondly call the fat on the stomach, could be natural and genetic. Women have extra fat there for the whole protect-that-one-day-in-the-future-baby.

Eating less may not be the answer. Before we can give any help, we need some stats. :)

~sillynilly~

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-16-2003 07:02 PM

>>Can you give us some stats? We can help you more if we knew more about you.<<
um...i'm about 5'3, 96 lb. i just started lifting a few mos. ago, so i am gaining weight as muscle [or at least i hope thats what's happening!]

>>Another thing: most 15 yr old girls I knew did not eat 3 tiny meals a day. If anything, they were constant grazers.<<
wow i did not know that...since i don't go to public school anymore i guess i don't pay attention to other girls' eating habits...seems like most of the girls i knew at my old school were borderline-anorexic, but it's nice to know i'm eating at least semi-normally.
[just ate half a box of couscous, a bagel & fake 'cream cheese,' a 2-serving bowl of cereal, and i'm still starving]

>>I suggest you talk to your doctor. Your doctor knows you the best and will be able to help you the best. If you have a medical condition, (s)he will be able to identify that.<<
well, since i am underweight they beg and plead for me to gain...they look at my progress [2 years ago i was a size 9; now i'm a zero with a gut], and all they have to say is "it wouldn't hurt if you gained 8 lb." GRR!! i dont trust doctors with losing inches...one dr. thought i was horribly insane and put me on this sh** that made me gain 20 LB IN A WEEK! i still have stretchmarks from that :( . he said "oh, it'll melt away faster than when you were on prozac!" well...it took a YEAR of diet pills to get back to my twig body and maternity gut.

i don't have the patience to "graze," but thanks for being nice to the psychotic b**** :)

sillynilly 11-16-2003 09:21 PM

5'3, 96 lb.? size 0? Even though I don't know you face-to-face, but I can tell you that you don't need to lose weight. :)

If your 15 yr old female, I'll tell you this: Many girls have a round tummy. At 15 they are at that "awkard stage". They are growing and their body is stuck between the kiddy stage and the adult stage. They have the pudge from their body preparing itself to have babies, and they still have the baby fat from the kiddy stage. Most girl teen's complaints about thier body is about their stomach area b/c they are stick thin but still have the round baby tummy. It's normal. :)

Please please please for your health: Don't force yourself to get any thinner. You are growing right now and you need all the nourishment to grow healthy. Being hungry alot is normal. Your body needs all the nutrients it can get so it can be energize in making you grow. Believe me: i been around 15 yr old girls that would engulf a whole pizza in one setting. One day go to a slumber party with a bunch of these skinny girls. You'll be amazed at how much they will eat. And it is all normal. However, by eating healthy you can ensure your body gets all the RIGHT nutrients. Just eat as healthy as you can (fruits, veggies, whole grains) and drink alot of water and take alot of vitamins. Continue to exercise and weight train, but don't go overboard with the weight training and make sure to consult a weight trainer first. You don't want to push yourself too far. :)

Are you on easy talking terms with your parents? Perhaps you can see if you'll be able to see a nutritionist. This can help alot right now in your life :).

Please for your health. Talk to your parents. See if they can take you to a nutritionist. Your growing and you want to continue to grow. Pretty please? I want you to grow strong and healthy and happy. You deserve the best your body can give you and I really want you to be happy. :)

~sillynilly~

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-17-2003 06:20 AM

well...the nutritionist thing sounds like a good idea, but it costs close to $80 per session, my stepdad keeps switching jobs, basically there's no way i can afford it. besides i know a nutritionist, i went to a free nutrition seminar w/her, and she just expects me to eat leaves and write every single thing down. that is not reasonable. vegetables are disgusting i'd rather eat my cat than a pile of leaves. and when i write things down it just makes me feel abnormal, how many freshman keep obsessive food logs about every piece of gum they chew??? please don't say gum makes my stomach stick out, i just started chewing gum like a week ago after i quit for a few months to see if that was a problem, it's not. when i keep logs it depresses me a)because it's not freaking normal, b)it shows how many carbs i eat, c)it shows how MUCH i eat, d)it feels like i'm doing homework, e)it's depressing, f)i don't touch vegetables. i tried gagging down leaves for several months, but it didn't do a damn thing about the way i look.

besides, isn't a "program" the same thing as a "diet?" i don't DO diets. i don't write a f***ing book about what i had for lunch either. so they preach low-carb, low-sodium, low-glycemic,low-fat, low-sugar, low-cal, deprivation diets. that is just not gonna work. i think i'll go ahead and save thousands of dollars not going to a sermon about carbs. nutritionists tell you "you can't eat this, you can't eat that, and you can't do this, and you can't do that, no, no, bad, bad..." all i want is to eat the way i do, but eat less. right now when i look at my food i cry. cause i know i cannot stop at just a normal-sized dinner. there is nothing wrong with a low-fat, low-cal, certified organic, vegan, mostly-balanced [like i said, leaves make me sick] diet now is there? unless you wanna talk about carbs, carboHYDRATEs, which means you lose WATER and water only when you cut them out...
seriously my diet sounds like i AM a f***ing nutritionist. i don't care about how many leaves i eat in a day...with the nutrition i get everywhere else it shouldn't matter. just need tips on eating smaller meals, but they won't give a 'stick with a gut' advice like that. they beg me to gain weight.

...thanks though

sillynilly 11-17-2003 07:49 AM

can i just ask one question...

why is it so important that you get skinnier?

one thing that can be happening is that you starve yousrself by eating too few mini-meals. Your body is crying out for nutrition but you feel as if your overeating. Have normal healthy size meals throughout the day. Have a big breakfast, a snack, a lunch, a snack, a dinner, and another snack. I am not telling you to go on a diet. At this time of life you don't NEED a diet. If you eat healthy and correctly and remain active, your body will grow to where it is supposed to be. It's not meant to be the "idyllic perfect body" yet. It's still jammed between the kiddy stage and the adult stage. So keep on eating healthy meals (fruits are really good :). apples, bananas, pears, plums, strawberries, watermelon, grapes, etc. Veggies/legumes are tasty too: Green beans, carrots, all types of peas, broccoli, cauliflower, etc...everything isn't nasty leafy junk :p. They make good meals and snacks.) Make sure that you still get enough protien through soy products, nuts, legumes, etc. Protien is essential in the growing process.

Take care of your body. It's the only one you'll be getting right now and you want it as healthy as you can make it. :)

~sillynilly~

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-17-2003 09:51 AM

>>can i just ask one question...

why is it so important that you get skinnier?<<

hoooo boy, i knew that was coming...well...i know this sounds OT, but...there are certain reasons i can't be in my town anymore. i'll leave it at that. it's not open for discussion, cause i'm gettin an apartment out-of-state on my 16th...but *IF i had a good enough body to get a b/f*, i could leave marion and live in the city until then...

**sad but true, i've only ever had 2 b/fs, both of which were pedophiles -_-;; other guys ignore me and say "i wish ALL chicks said/were like that."

also...
-i could wear tight shirts
-i wouldn't be asked if i'm pregnant
-i wouldn't be called "less pushin' for the cushion"
-"you look...[long pause]...fine. but ANDREA...::[insert guy here]'s eyes twinkle:: isn't she 80 lb?" <--that would stop, not saying i'd be 80, but if i had her body...
-i could actully have a romantic life
-i dont have b00bs, so i pretty much need a flat stomach or i look like ren from ren & stimpy.
-i wouldn't kill myself at the gym for hours a day, causing knee, hip, ankle and chest pain for NOTHING if i had a flat stomach
-guys would be less likely to cheat on me
-i could be a model, which has been my childhood dream
-i wouldn't get exercise "tips" from 14 y/o boys...['just do sit-ups! you'll look like her in no time!']
-people wouldn't accuse me of being an alcoholic ["beer gut"]

there's a lot more, but i think you get the point.

>>Have a big breakfast, a snack, a lunch, a snack, a dinner, and another snack.<<
i've tried that before, but i guess it won't kill me to try again. hopefully it'll prevent me from eating 3 nights' worth of dinner in 5 min ~_^;;

>>So keep on eating healthy meals (fruits are really good :). apples, bananas, pears, plums, strawberries, watermelon, grapes, etc. Veggies/legumes are tasty too: Green beans, carrots, all types of peas, broccoli, cauliflower, etc...everything isn't nasty leafy junk :p. They make good meals and snacks.<<
wow, from what i've read i thought fruits were horribly fattening...so it's actually okay to go over 3 or 4 fruits a day?? i LOVE fruit, it's like my favorite thing next to bagels w/fake "cream cheese"...the latter of which isn't too horribly healthful, but still!!

so...if my day starts at 8, i should have a meal at 8, 11:30, 3:30, 7/7:30 [depends on when i get out of the gym], and like 9:30 or 10? guess that beats 3 square meals plus 'the munchies' randomly, when i eat half the food in the house!! thanks again for your advice

sillynilly 11-17-2003 11:21 AM

The key here is to have everything in moderation.

Don't run off and have a diet suddenly all fruits. You need a balance between grains, fruits, veggies, and protein. As I said...make sure to get enough protein from soy products and nuts and legumes. Try taking a protein supplement as you are a vegan. The protein is what will make your body get more muscle for healthy growing. You might be having an over excess of bad carbohydrates, not enough protein and some fruits and veggies, making your stomach bloated. Having a BALANCED diet is the key.

Another thing to think about: if you try to get skinnier, it could make your pooch even bigger. This sometimes happens when there is the case of malnutrition. The body gets skinnier and skinnier, but the stomach area gets more and more bloated.

Another thing you can try for the pooch is having good posture. Stand up straight. Also, randomly throughout the day (while you are sitting at the computer or something) hold your stomach muscles in tight. Hold it 5 min or so. I don't really know if this works but I heard other people do it and they say it helps.

some one correct me if i am wrong...but you could probably skip the late night snack unless if you really need it.

i never had a boyfriend, and that was b/c i didn't want one in high school and i expanded that to my first semester in college. i don't one at this time in my life. I want to be myself, and expand to be the person I want myself to be. I don't want that to be influenced by anyone of the opposite gender. I've seen so many girls who turned out to be the person they are today b/c of their bf in high school. I decided to skip the whole charade and just focused upon myself :)

being skinny isn't everything. Having that perfect body isn't everything. I am happy w/ myself right now and it shows in every way possible. Life is grand, I have confidence, and I feel happy cause I am being healthy and that is all i want. The image is nothing; the fact that i am being healthy is everything.

once more, can you talk to your parents about this? i am trying to help you the best that i can but once more i am only a teen myself and these are just things i learned from random books and from health boards. However, I've done some research on this stuff to get a better idea on how to live healthy. Try going to your local library and reading about nutrition, vegan lifestyles, and so forth.

~sillynilly~

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-17-2003 12:21 PM

>>Try taking a protein supplement as you are a vegan. The protein is what will make your body get more muscle for healthy growing.<<
um...muscle is kind of a problem right now, as i gain muscles VERY quickly. i think that means i'm ok with protein ^_~;;

>>You might be having an over excess of bad carbohydrates, not enough protein and some fruits and veggies, making your stomach bloated.<<

bad carbs...that's like potatoes, white bread, and white rice, right? i never eat anything white. unless i am baking [rare], then i use ener-g egg replacer, which is made with potato starch...but it's only like 2 teaspoons. i eat whole-wheat products, soya, and lots of fresh organic fruits...if a lack of minerals is making me bloated, could i take a few vitamins instead of nasty vegetables? i tried choking down leaves, carrots, green beans, peppers, tomatoes, beets, brussels sprouts, yams, squash...only vegetables i can stand are the peppers they put in pre-made indian food. and occasionally snow peas.

>>Another thing to think about: if you try to get skinnier, it could make your pooch even bigger. This sometimes happens when there is the case of malnutrition. The body gets skinnier and skinnier, but the stomach area gets more and more bloated.<<

!!! this has gotta be what my teacher meant when she said chicken would give me a flat stomach...does malnutrition have to mean protein deficiency? cause i get a lot of soy products in my diet, so i am pretty sure my protein is fine...however i don't touch vegetables so i'm missing a lot of minerals...seriously i think you're right, i have always thought i looked like one of those round-bellied-but-starving "christian children's fund" kids....

>>Another thing you can try for the pooch is having good posture.<<

oh god. that's probly my problem. my neck curves forward so my head is always forward as well, people think i'm looking at them weird but i'm not. my shoulders round forward, my back is over-curvy. i should probly see a chiropractor but insurance doesn't cover it...oh, and is it true that laying on your stomach will make your gut bigger? i've been terrified to do so for the last few months...

>>i never had a boyfriend, and that was b/c i didn't want one in high school and i expanded that to my first semester in college. i don't one at this time in my life. I want to be myself, and expand to be the person I want myself to be. I don't want that to be influenced by anyone of the opposite gender. I've seen so many girls who turned out to be the person they are today b/c of their bf in high school. I decided to skip the whole charade and just focused upon myself :)<<

wish i could say that. if i had to sum up my entire life and everything about me in two words it would be 'unrequited love.' obviously i am not capable at this point in time of loving myself. i can very rarely be around my stepdad w/o him starting a fight with me. i don't get along with my mother that well. to put it simply, i NEED love. i pour my heart out over a guy and he just ignores every word i say...happens every month or so. [if you're bored and want examples, see my post in teen issues.] if I were to focus on myself it would just depress me further...

>>being skinny isn't everything. Having that perfect body isn't everything. I am happy w/ myself right now and it shows in every way possible.<<

but for me it's like the exact opposite, and it's not something an attitude can fix...my passion is in shopping. i am antisocial, i hate people in general. so if i go to hot topic or something i can buy whatever pants i want, however i have a pooch hanging over it. so tight shirts, depressingly, are NOT my friends. it makes me sad that i can't buy [or at least look good in] some of their most beautiful clothing...

>>once more, can you talk to your parents about this?<<

i guess i could ask 'em for vitamins, and maybe a chiropractor. thanks for the suggestions!

motherw/four 11-18-2003 06:32 AM

Hello. I've been a little overwight my whole life. In school I thought I was such a cow...looking back...I wish I was the same cow I once was. I understand the big stomach thing, but I've never been under a 100 pounds. You have so many other things to worry about at your age. If a boy is tormenting you about your stomach, tell him to take a flying leap....Love yourself...don't place so much energy in pleasing others....stop dieting, and just work on exercise. Hang in there.

It sounds like you may have more underlying problems--the getting an apartment at 16 thing.... maybe you need to talk to someone about the other issues....and let the tummy thing go for a while.

DonutsNCoffee 11-18-2003 07:39 AM

xxFreakOfNaturexx,

If you're doing this to make yourself more attractive to guys, I would say don't bother. As a guy, I don't think we're worth the trouble. As for the idea that a guy would be less likely to cheat on you, why would you ever want to be with someone who could potentially cheat on you in the first place? You shouldn't have to maintain a flat stomach to keep a guy faithful. And ignore what 14 year old boys say. The only thing they understand is video games.

As for having to kill yourself at the gym for nothing, I hate to disappoint you, but you should get used to that. When you get older, you'll have to do that just to stay healthy.

notorious b 11-18-2003 08:40 AM

Okay, I have to agree with whoever said that there are underlying problems here. First of all, you probably have a "gut" because you're TOO skinny. girls that weigh more at your height will probably have flatter stomachs because they are more porportioned. That seems like it could be a problem.

Second, you are ONLY 15. What kind of romantic life are you hoping to have at that age? You've only had 2 boyfriends... what is wrong with that? You are what, a freshman in high school? You need to find how to be happy without involving guys. I've just realized that in the last 2 years myself. I had a boyfriend continually from when I was a freshman in high school until my senior year in college. I was under the impression that I had to have a guy love me in order to feel like I was worth anything. But that just isn't right... you need to love yourself or else you aren't going to find a guy that is worth keeping.

Third, you have an eating disorder. How can you be vegan and NOT eat vegetables?? what else is there to eat? All you eat is carbs, which are not going to fill you up, that is why you're always hungry. I've been a vegetarian for over 2 years and I know how hard it is to find meals without the meat. I can only imagine if I wasn't allowed to have cheese or dairy and then not eat vegetables... that would leave me with NOTHING to eat.

You need to stop worrying about your weight and work on other things in your life. You have a lot of pent up anger and self loathing issues that you need to work out... I mean, did anyone else notice the language used? "F* this, B** that"...

Sorry to be so blunt, but as a person that is on an anti-depressant also, I know that you need more help than the pills are giving you. You need to spend the money to talk to someone professional. Good luck, I hope you realize what you're doing to your body soon, before it's too late.

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-18-2003 09:10 AM

>>If a boy is tormenting you about your stomach, tell him to take a flying leap....<<
good idea...will do ::evil grin::

>>stop dieting, and just work on exercise.<<
i didn't think i was "dieting," more working on portion control...but yeah, i will continue working out daily.

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-18-2003 09:16 AM

>>If you're doing this to make yourself more attractive to guys, I would say don't bother. As a guy, I don't think we're worth the trouble. As for the idea that a guy would be less likely to cheat on you, why would you ever want to be with someone who could potentially cheat on you in the first place? You shouldn't have to maintain a flat stomach to keep a guy faithful.<<
i thought *all* guys cheated though...at least one way or another. you got a point though, any guy who'd love me for being perfect wouldn't love me for me...HOWEVER i think i have said this before, but most of the reason i want a flat stomach is so i can fit into tight shirts without looking 3 mos. pregnant. it's mostly for me.

>>And ignore what 14 year old boys say. The only thing they understand is video games.<<
hey now...i play video games a minimum of about 3 hr/day...doesn't mean i'm lazy or ignorant though. but if i'm allowed to be sexist, high school boys are complete morons, so you're right about that...

xxFreakOfNaturexx 11-18-2003 09:40 AM

>>you probably have a "gut" because you're TOO skinny. girls that weigh more at your height will probably have flatter stomachs because they are more porportioned.<<
but i was a f***ing twig when i was little...then at 10, just all of a sudden i blew up like a balloon. so being 'too skinny' can't be my problem. honestly i think it's probly malnutrition and a bad back, combined with yeast. once i get that fixed i might be normal. but if we're talking about propotions i am f***ed in that department, i can only fit into a sports bra...

>>Second, you are ONLY 15. What kind of romantic life are you hoping to have at that age?<<
oh god. am i supposed to answer that? i think 'romantic' was the wrong word...just a b/f but not like a middle-school hand-holding thing, more like someone who says he loves me, and actually shows it.

>>You need to find how to be happy without involving guys.<<
like i said, my passion is shopping. i am happy until i think about how badly the price of a pair of pants can effect the household. or until i look into the mirror and see that the tops do not fit me at all...IF i had a flat stomach i would be happy w/o guys because i could have FUN shopping.

>>what else is there to eat? All you eat is carbs, which are not going to fill you up, that is why you're always hungry. I've been a vegetarian for over 2 years and I know how hard it is to find meals without the meat. I can only imagine if I wasn't allowed to have cheese or dairy and then not eat vegetables... that would leave me with NOTHING to eat.<<
not quite, i get a lot of soya products, which have fat and protein. i eat a lot of fruit too. it's semi-balanced...

>>You have a lot of pent up anger and self loathing issues that you need to work out... I mean, did anyone else notice the language used? "F* this, B** that"...<<
whoa, whoa, whoa...so casual swearing means i'm insane now? i think if you knew me personally you would know the way i speak has nothing to do with the rest of my life. i'm a Freak [people call me goth, but i would never be caught dead in a dress, so i'm really not]. now go somewhere where Freaks gather, let's say ozzfest, and see how polite/refined/whatever people are there. if it really bugs you that much, well, i would say i'll censor myself but i kinda already did o_O;;
and sure i have anger, but that's just cause i have been mistreated by so many guys...if i got left in the cold for an hour b/c a guy lied to me, AFTER he broke my heart 3 times before, and that was just a week ago, of COURSE i'm still a little p***ed about it!!

>>Sorry to be so blunt, but as a person that is on an anti-depressant also, I know that you need more help than the pills are giving you.<<
um...i'm *off* my drugs, my psych. said i shouldn't take antidepressants anymore [unless its an emergency] b/c if a drug has side effects i am likely to suffer from ALL of them. if i wanted to talk about my life just to be told i am normal, i'd preach to my friends. sides, i can't afford a counselor right now, AND i wouldn't have a ride. if you think changing my attitude will make all the difference in the world, you are wrong. therapy isn't gonna change the way my clothes look on me. THAT's my problem. not so much what others think, but what I think. and how bad it hurts to see all these beautiful tops and not fit into a damn one.


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