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Need help with my Sister

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Old 08-10-2006, 05:08 AM   #1
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Question Need help with my Sister

My sister, who is also my best friend seems to be in denial about her weight. She is easily at about 300 pounds. I am very worried about her because she just turned 40 and she has never been to a doctor for anything, nothing at all. She rides things out. She will go to a dentist though. What is scares me is she is a prime candidate for a heart attack or stroke. She doesn't eat right because her husbands parents takes them out to dinner at least 4 times a week and the rest of the week she and her hubby order in. She does not cook. She also wants to try and have a baby. My other sister and I have been brutally honest with her and told her that she would have a harder time being pregnant being as heavy as she is.

I'm just not sure how to help her. I'm really scared she's going to have a massive heart attack or stroke. She is stressed all the time. Plus she is the type of person who always has to be in control, and has to have things done her way. Type A personality. Her poor husband, she uses him to run and get her things around the house because she is just to heavy to go from one level to another. Heart problems are in our family, we watched both of our Grandparents die of congenital heart disease, turned to failure.

Any ideas on how I can help this most beautiful person in my life. I love her so much and my children, my sister and her children and our mother would be at such a loss if we lost this big hearted woman.

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Old 08-10-2006, 05:40 AM   #2
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Re: Need help with my Sister

Maybe you could suggest she visit a GP or ob/gyn for her hopes for pregnancy. I know if I were trying to get pregnant -- or even thinking about trying -- I'd probably want to just get some general bloodwork, basic physical, you know, make sure I don't have some crazy gene that could possibly cause harm down the road.

Maybe this suggestion could come from her hubby if not you.

Have you said exactly what you said in your post to her? Have you told her how you're scared for her health? What about her hubby; what are his thoughts on this? Is he overweight/obese, too?

Any initial change will have to come from within her. Support from family and friends will be necessary once she's had the realization that she must do something, but that very first step will have to come from her.

Old 08-10-2006, 06:16 AM   #3
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Re: Need help with my Sister

I hate to say it, but sometimes people with a weight problem are like people with an alcohol or drug problem: Until they admit there IS a problem, there's not much you can do about it. If she doesn't think she's over weight, or doesn't want to do anything about it, you will have a tough time convincing her. The unfortunate thing is it sounds like her husband and her husband's parent's are contributing to the problem.
I would say tough love is the best way to get through to her, but be careful as it might make her mad at you. Your post stated she was controlling and you confronting her about this may make her feel out of control. But I agree with you. Anyone that heavy is just signing themselves up for health problems. In addition, her age will play a part in her wanting to get pregnant. Best of luck to you - It's not going to be easy.

Old 08-10-2006, 06:35 AM   #4
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Re: Need help with my Sister

There is absolutely NO way to make another person lose weight unless you have a prison cell you can lock her in.
All you can do is control yours and hope that she sees the light before she buys the farm.

Old 08-10-2006, 06:43 AM   #5
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Re: Need help with my Sister

can you maybe ask her to join a gym with you, or take an exercize class?
maybe just try to encourage her to walk more......suggest that you go shopping or something? But the bottom line is, she has to WANT to.

Old 08-11-2006, 07:36 AM   #6
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Re: Need help with my Sister

stenolady: her hubby says he loves her for her. He is a devote Catholic and all he says is that if she is meant to get pregnant, she'll get pregnant. I have told her what I've said in my thread. She knows how worried I am, I've told her she has to make the first move to make things happen.

susieq: Oh I totally agree. I myself was a little over 300 pounds over 6 years ago and lost a little over 140. After I lost all of my weight I got pregnant, it was a surprise, however. She sees that as something she'd like to have happen to her. What she is lacking is the motivation to make it happen.

Lenin: Unfortunately she's not prone to breaking laws so the prison cell thing is out. I am able to control my weight, and I give her as much advice and help as I can. Believe me, I really, really want for her to see that light.

Rosequartz: Well, good idea but unfortunately, I have progressive MS and am unable to do the gym or long walk thing. My exercise comes from my physical therapist. Now shopping, we've done. We're great at that. In fact she gets a pretty good workout when we go shopping because of the walking and she has to push me in my wheelchair. She wants so much to lose the weight, I think there is just something missing or blocking in her that is not allowing the motivation to come out.

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